HEY!
It's still hard for me to believe,
BUT I HAVE RELOCATED!

This is where you can find me

I'm so gonna miss you,
EMPTY :(

Seeya over there!

xoxo

HEY YOU!
Just in case anyone's not clear,
I'm in ARKANSAS.
And yeah, Arkansas is considered a Southern state.

After being here for 3 months now,
I can say that I really am liking it.
Its true that it does get sucky at times
and I wish i was in a more happening place.

But hey, at least we're not suffering in the coooold winter (yet!)
and the friends I've made here have been way cool.
(my Voice & Movement classmates especially haha)
Won't trade it for any other :)

Plus I've been exposed to COUNTRY-STYLE LIVING!
As in really country-like the way u see in movies.
Houses far apart from each other.
A single two-way road.
Fields, pastures,
Cows, Horses, Animals!
Hay bells, tractors
Yup you get my drift.

Don't get me wrong UCA is not in such place!
I'm talking bout Charae's area.
It's really interesting though.
At times i feel like such a dungu, being a city person all my life.
We'll pass some pastures and I'll see cows and it'll be like this:

Me: OOOH COWS!!!
Charae/Rachel: Uh YAH?
Me: Well, i only see cows as cooked meat!
Charae/Rachel: Oh right! Forgot it's not common for u :P

Basically this place is so NOT Malaysia
Of course I still prefer the city, please.
But I think this is a good experience to experience.
I'm still yet to go hunting!
And milk cows! :D
Can't wait for Thanksgiving break!

Anyway, since I'm supposedly being Southerny now,
saying words like "OH MA WUUURD!"
(imagine the Southern accent haha)
I should have a favorite country music too, no?




I'd have to say this would be my absolute favorite!
The lyrics are so cute.
And yes, I wanna ride on a big green tractor :P
Maybe someday.

xoxo

I AM SO EXCITED!!!
Reason being because I finally registered for next sem's class!
Whoop dee doo!
I am that excited till i'm literally bouncing :D

SO SO SO my classes are:
(sorry i can't help but babble em out)

- Introduction to Film
- Forms of Scriptwriting
- Acting 1
- Text Analysis For the Theater
- Fundamentals of Theatrical Production
- Theater Production & Performance

Yeah sadly only ONE film class
Just have to be done with Intro to Film
and i'll be able to take film classes next fall onwards.
I know..seems like 100 years more.

Oh well, focus on my Theater for now! :D

*****

I wonder if it's fair to say like
How can you lament and whine over your petty problems
when people are starving in Africa
and stuff like that.

Or are we allowed to lament/whine
even though the problem is petty
because everyone is subjected to their own issues.

Hmmmm.
For once I didn't enjoy Tuesday.
Don't think blue eyes is a good idea.
Oh well.

xoxo

Okay so i'm getting sick and tired of
all the excuses in the book people give
to avoid keeping in touch.

Time difference la.
Expensive la.
Busy la.

Oh ya I'm so sure you still
text/call away to all ye local friends
in the midst of your "busyness"

The lamest excuse would probably be:
We just don't keep in touch with people who are overseas.

FML.
I'm out!

This picture reminds me of the Iceberg philosophy.
Some philosopher (forgot who) said that:
what we see, of a person say, is just like 30%
(what is above the surface)
but the other 70% is hidden down there
(beneath the surface).

I really like it cos i think it's true.
We usually see only that small bit of a person,
but what could be beautiful or dangerous,
could be hidden down there...not visible to the eye.

OR

We could look at it this way:
the 30% is the exterior or a person
(see the top ain't pretty?)
but the other 70%, the inner person,
is what is beautiful :)

I think i'm just being crappy.
Hahahaha.

*****

I'm so glad i went back to Chi Alpha yesterday.
I love how God uses XA to speak to me when i really need to hear from Him.

Dear God,
I'm so sorry I haven't been to church in 2 months.
And skipping XA.
And kinda pretty much walking away from you.
And for giving up.
And forgetting that You love me so much.
And that You are always here.
That You'll take care of me even when i'm in desolateness.
That You are ever faithful.
Thank You so much for reminding me.
Thank You so much for everything.
I love You.


Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
Who was, and is, and is to come
With all creation I sing
Praise to the King of Kings!
You are my everything
And I will adore you.
-Revelation song

Once again,
I hate dreams.
Or at least dreams that makes things seem good.
But is in fact, NOT, in reality.

How many times do I have to continuously dream about this?
It has been like what?
4 nights now?
Stop torturing me that way...
Making me happy for a moment...
Just to wake up to find that it was all a dream.

Dream.
Dream.
Dream.

Sometimes i say
ENOUGH!
If i clearly do not mean even the slightest bit to you anymore
then you shouldn't to me too.

Why should i care?
When you don't?

Why should i torment myself over you?
When you don't?

But then again, i do not want to be like you.
So perhaps i should continue caring and being tormented.

Sometimes i wonder what you think about.
How do u feel.

Are you doing alright?
Are you happy?
Will i ever see you again?
Do you care if you never saw me again?

I NEED to stop.
I really NEED to stop.
Either I need to become stronger, with a heart of stone.
Or beg you to just end this misery for me.

Because as hard as it is to believe,
It's killing me,
inside,
day by day,
every minute,
i'm another step closer to dying.

(no i'm not being dramatic)
(sigh)

It's only 10.14am
Still have another 14 hours at least before i can crawl back into bed.
Sigh.
And tomorrow it's Monday all over again.
Double sigh.


p/s: Msia and I are 14 hours apart now.
Yeah. awesome.
Lagi cannot talk to people now.

Tata.
Have a good week, everyone!

xoxo

The world is filled with 2 kinds of people:
Happy people
Emo people

Happy people: whatever

Emo people-there are 2 kinds:
Emos that NEEDS people
Emos that DOES NOT WANT people

Emos that NEEDS people:
Need i say more???
Why can't people just SEE that and BE THERE?
Not hard right?!

Emos that DOES NOT WANT people:
In health class, we learnt that we should never
leave depressed people alone even though they might say they want to be.
Never know...suicide??

*****

I took the depression-screening test yesterday
and it revealed that I am

Moderately depressed!

Lame. so un-reliable.
Perhaps i should take a walk in the Nature trail.
And never come back =Omg!

I thought i could rely on The Family.
BUT WHERE ARE THEY?
Seriously, WHERE ARE THEY WHEN I NEED THEM?

WHERE ARE MY BEST FRIENDS?

People always assume things are fine.
And even when i express myself, hardly anyone really cares.
Oh! what a shitty world.

I guess that's why they say
Only turn to God.
Yo, mister God whats up.

Seriously?
I really should start journaling.

xoxo

So much for no more blogging.
Couldn't help myself :P

There was a National Depression Screening test at the health center today.
I really wanted to go for it.
But i missed it.
Cos i was sleeping -_-

I do not think i'm depressed.
But what do i call it if:

I can't even pee without feeling sad?
I can't even hear Obama's name without feeling sad?
I can't even stare at my specs-wearing self without feeling sad?
I can't even go online without feeling sad?
I can't even go to sleep every night without feeling sad?
I can't even watch HIMYM without feeling sad?
I can't even look at my phone without feeling sad?
I can't even think of foot reflexology without feeling sad!

Sighhhhhhhhhh.

I think all these emoness is making me sick.
I was pretty feverish earlier.
And now i feel like puking.

Seriously!
I'm suppose to make a CHANGE.
Well, with my emotions I mean.
Then again, perhaps i should start my journaling...
so i could perhaps finally change.

Sometimes I wish I would get hit by a car.
Or get diagnose with an incurable disease.
Or have something really horrid happen to me.
Then maybe u know, just maybe,
you would speak to me again.

Sighhhhhhhhhhhh.

I really think i should start making appointments with a therapist.
Make use of the counseling privileges, eh?
Oh how low i have sunk
:(

This is a story of a boy name



from the moment he was born,
he knew he wanted to look like this:


Unfortunately, genetics granted him with this:


But thanks to technology,
or rather...the invention of:

(yes, PINK)
his dreams of having nice, soft, silky and STRAIGHT hair
has indeed become a reality.

His most favorite object would be the:


And the most awesome person in his opinion
just happens to be:


Besides starring at himself in the mirror,
he enjoys making silly faces:


and posing


all in front of the MIRROR of course!

His personal motto in life is:

(not very humbling, eh?)

Although I'm an awesome guitarist,
I'd have to admit someone else is indeed better:


But lets not go there.
Reason being, someone's head is VERY big.
So Ben-O, for your 21st Birthday,
here is a cake for you:

HAHAH kidding!
Here you go:

(oops missed out the 2 before the 1, sorry!)

and of course i did not forget the song!



Hehehehe
So there u go, Ben-o the *chokes* Great *suffocate*
HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY!!

I hope this made your day :)
Now go out and play!
Before you decay!

Hahaha.
Love love, from the most awesome after you:

ME! duh.

P/S: Remember i was complaining bout some crisis with my pictures not being able to be loaded onto iMovie and i had a project to do? Well, yeah you were suppose to receive a video at first...but...blog post quite cool also what ya? haha!

xoxo

So I've decided that I'm gonna quit blogging.
Well at least for now.

Reason being, people blog to talk about
their day,
what they are up to,
their thoughts,
their observations,
their lessons learnt
etc...

And i refuse to do that anymore
(or at least for now haha)
Cos i think people should have conversations
Instead of reading off people's blog
I mean, if you really wanna know what's up with me
Then ask me!
Email me, Facebook me, MSN me, Skype me, Text me, Call me..whatever

Just....don't read about me anymore.
Okay i don't know if this is me just being rash
Hence all the, "for now"s haha.

Have a good time everyone!
Go live your life!
Have stories to tell!
Most of all, love every minute of it :)

*******

I shot for the sky, I'm stuck on the ground
So why do I try, I know I'm gonna fall down.
I thought i could fly, so why did i drown?
Never know why, it's coming down down down


xoxo