Profile

The osmium penguin, Gravidyptes Osmia, is a silvery metallic flightless bird which makes its home in the Secret Underwater Grotto of Miracle Fish. It tends to appear out of a whirling cloud of bubbles, and (owing to its great weight) generally arrives from Parts Above and departs for Parts Below. It subsists primarily on a diet of soggy mackerel, and abhors ballpoint pens.

Its narrator—equal parts reader, writer, composer, musician, enigmatologist and algorithmician; gamer and cook in lesser measure; parent and transportation activist superseding all—accompanies it everywhere. I have been chronicling its adventures online since the mid-1980s, but only learned a few years ago that "osmie" is ancient Greek for "stinky." How embarrassing.

Friending & befriending: I have no clever set of filters to view half my friends on my friends page, while allowing the other half access to my more personal posts. You're welcome to befriend me, but I'm unlikely to add you to my own list unless I already know you in real life. Please don't view this as a snub. All you're missing is the occasional "hey, X, what are you doing tonight?" post, and someday—if I ever write a more congenial set of filters—I may just befriend you back.