selfdestructo

A 7.9?! Gotta hand it to mass audiences... They love familiarity. Full disclosure: I only watched up to season 3.

I really did not like season 1 of Superstore, though the show does improve by season 2. This season has some of the unlikeliest premises, people going way out of character, and they made the two leads unlikeable. Amy is obnoxious, and Jonah is arrogant. Man, if I had to work with these people all day, I'd put a gun in my mouth. Again, in future episodes they are written more as normal people (though I've found the show still goes off the rails on occasion). The only reason I continued with this show at all, was because season 1 ended on a cliffhanger. Then I get to season 2, and everybody still has their job, and Cheyanne is still pregnant! I'm like, WTF just happened? Apparently that was some sort of Olympics special, and they pick up the storyline in episode 2. Question: How can they strike if they don't have jobs?

The parallels to The Office, especially as the show goes on, are hard to ignore. The creator of Superstore wrote for The Office for 7 years. And he likes to plagiarize himself (and I'm assuming other writers). I find myself saying "I saw this on The Office" more times than I'd like. Plus it's got the whole Jim and Pam thing all over again. Plenty of similarities between characters. By season 3, The Office well seems to dry up (or someone got wise), but the unrealistic premises are still a "thing."

I've got to know: Is the classic music they play inside the store supposed to be "ironic" and the crap they play as part of the show's soundtrack supposed to be the "good" music? If that's the case, that is messed up, and I'm apparently out of touch.

Certified Fresh! The kiss of death.

Caddy Hack is (obviously) a zero-budget, horror-comedy ripoff of Caddyshack. This movie's central character, at least for the bulk of the film, seemed to be the groundskeeper. Yes, the Bill Murray character, only this guy (and how he's written) is violently unfunny. Anyway, he poisons the gophers, who turn deadly. The groundskeeper, the owner, the caddies, with every subsequent character introduced, and there's a whole string of them, only seem to make this movie worse. To add insult to injury, the lame soundtrack, score, and goofy sound effects only seemed to magnify how bad everything is.

So, for reasons unknown to me, Trum... er, the owner of the golf course brings in his niece, Becky, to be Caddy Manager(?!). As far as I was concerned, this character is introduced as Eye Candy, giving off a Bridget-Fonda-in-her-prime vibe. Then she spoke. Ok, eye candy it is.

I sat through the full 75 minutes, and I have to totally backtrack. Full props must be given to actress Chrissy Cavallo (as Becky). She is hands-down the funniest person in this whole movie. As a matter of fact, once her relationship with "the nerd," Googie (Jake Foy) is introduced... by her driving 37 golf balls straight to his crotch, and they break into a song, "Balls Deep in Love," Caddy Hack shifts into a typical Wild Eye-frenetic pace. This movie gets quite entertaining with this turn of events. And once the toxi-fied zombie gophers get to breeding, a la Gremlins, or Critters (albeit with an even lower budget), there's great fun to be had with the deadly gophers partying, running out of beer, and making a beer run disguised as a human! One of the caddies recruits his Goth kid brother, who plans to blow up his school, to blow up the gophers for him. I detested the set-up time that compromised the first half of this movie, but once it gets its legs, it is a total blast (literally) to watch. I'm balancing my score out to a solid 7.

Writer/director Anthony Catanese has INVENTED more nonsensical insults here than in any other movie I've seen. The formula is simple: Take two unrelated vulgar words, put them together, and ta-da! Over and over and over. Not necessarily the funniest thing, but it's certainly another wacky characteristic of this, uh, pretty off-kilter movie.

Oh, they directly rip off the Beastie Boys, too, during the closing credits. Sit through them all, and they freaking CONGRATULATE you for making it through the whole movie! That's the perfect ending to Caddy Hack.

Or, alternately, "Give Me the Moe Howard." I'm not questioning Olivia Williams' acting skills, or her general choice of movie roles, but she sure does get some silly haircuts.

The second I saw "Screen Yorkshire" in the opening credits, I knew I was in for it. And Altar was every bit as dry and dull as I had feared. Also, this movie steals stuff directly from The Shining, The Legend of Hell House, and The Amityville Horror. I don't know if this filmmaker actually saw Demon Wind, but there's a riff on that too.

Seemingly, every scare in this movie is someone being run into by someone else offscreen. So much so, that it becomes comical. A ghost cracks her knuckles. Look out! A man rubs blood on his wife's back, then takes pictures of her cleaning it off. Shocking! A phone rings, and it's not plugged in. Call the police! (That is, once your ghost phone is actually connected).

I think I've described all the scares, save for the attempted rape by a possessed Matthew Modine. Yeah, skip this one.

This one stuck with me. I had issues sleeping the night I saw this. I initially thought Lovely Molly was totally ambiguous. I couldn't figure out if Molly was psychotic, a result of her drug abuse and traumatic childhood, if she was possessed, or if the house was haunted by her father. There are plot points spelled out in the trivia section of imdb. Look if you dare. I don't know if I should have. Part of me was quite disappointed (it seemed silly), but part was even more troubled. Sometimes ambiguous is good.

This movie is on the disturbing side. Gretchen Lodge as Molly gives a positively fearless performance. I was sad to see the only recognition she got was one obscure award, and a nomination from Fangoria. Surely, she deserved more. Lovely Molly (2011) appears to be her feature film debut. Why she hasn't starred in other horror movies since is beyond me. She's only appeared in one other, but in a supporting role. Maybe this wasn't a good experience for her...

Spoilers ahead, if you care (and you shouldn't). Dead Still is chock full of unintentional laughs. Then again, it IS a cheesy SyFy made-for-tv movie. I found it hard to believe there were actors in this movie out-hamming Ray Wise. He's come a long way from hamming it up on Twin Peaks. But Professor McKlaren (Eric Ruff) totally rivaled him. I don't know, was he trying to do Tony Todd? It was comically bizarre.

I don't know if I can put into words how monumentally bad this movie was. The foxy goth assistant (Elle LaMont) to Brandon (Ben Browder), the one he wanted nothing to do with, dies at the 45 minute mark. So, no reason to tune in beyond that. Ok, let me put it this way. The climax and resolution: Wenton (Wise, Brandon's great grandfather), Brandon (Browder), and his kid are trapped inside the cursed camera. Wenton has a shard of glass held up to the kid's throat (a child in peril, always predictable, unless you're Feast II). What does Brandon do to save his child? Well, let's see, the camera lens explodes, shooting shards of glass into Wenton, he then freezes, then spontaneously combusts. Clever, huh? Do you really want to see the rest?

For both the right and wrong reasons. Added bonus: Pieces has what's got to be the greatest ending to a slasher I've ever seen.

Don't even bother with the original uncensored director's cut. It adds 3 minutes, which seems like a lot, but in this case, adds very, very little (no extra nudity or violence, it's all inconsequential stuff). You're also saddled with the original score (A piano? Come on!). Never mind you're reading subtitles to dubbed Spanish... dubbed OVER spoken English! That's a lose-lose-lose.

I own the region B Arrow edition of Pieces, but picked up the Grindhouse Releasing 3-disc version primarily for the 42nd Street Memories documentary, the CD soundtrack, as well as the nice packaging. If you like 'em wild & woolly, both competent & incompetent, you can't go wrong with this horror flick.

Chris (Richard Dreyfuss) and Bill (Emilio Estevez) are back on "another stakeout," trying to track down a mob witness. They are joined by Gina (Rosie O'Donnell), the assistant DA, who is Chris & Bill's boss in this situation. They are "renting" a house from a judge ("Maximum Dave"), posing as father, mother, and son.

The mob story is never fully explored, nor is the love story between Chris and Maria (remember her from the original?). What is explored are wacky misunderstandings and little white lies, a la Three's Company! Also dating this movie are references to Ren & Stimpy, Steven Seagal, and a rather sizable reel-to-reel recorder. Director John Badham was going through a serious tilted camera angle phase. A marginal 5 stars. Beautiful print for a cheap-o Mill Creek Blu-ray release.

Alright, I have an issue with the cover. It says "The Hilariously Sexy Comedy." Hilarious is a gross overstatement, and I don't know if I could even qualify this as a comedy. It is lighthearted, so I guess I can go with that. But sexy? We have Marilyn Monroe with crooked teeth, and Havana (Patricia Arquette) bending over in the flower bed (admittedly, I noticed that. Not director Nimoy's intention, for certain). Is a frock and bonnet supposed to be sexy? How about being married to a 12-year old boy?

Peter and Havana rob a state fair. The couple hide out at a religious colony in Canada, eh? Peter hides the money, then promptly gets killed in a car accident. Their bible states that the ex-husband's brother (a very young Joseph Gordon-Levitt) has to propose to the widow. The kid is smart. He ultimately gets Havana to help him bring back the money. Through a series of ridiculous, only-in-the-movies coincidences, the FBI catch up with them.

Mr. Wong is a series of Flash cartoons made for the internet (and straight up National Lampoon magazine's alley). Mr. Wong himself is an 85-year old Asian fella. He's Miss Pam's servant, and "came with the estate," as the opening song states. The episodes run in the 3-4 minute range, but with the warning, intro, closing theme, and recap/preview, I'm probably seeing 2 minutes of original, new material per episode (the DVD packaging states the disc runs 80 minutes).

Am I supposed to be offended by Mr. Wong's portrayal? The show was unfunny, politically incorrect or not, although I've gotta say I loved the song "Hockey Monkey" by The Zambonis. Had nothing to do with the episode, of course. Also, there was a DVD documentary extra about a Canadian guy who built a suit of armor (again, nothing to do with anything), which I found more entertainment value in, than the show.

Danny (Van Hansis) has to ID his dead Granny. She had a rent controlled apartment in New York City. Danny illegally takes over tenancy of the apartment, and is told he can't leave until the court order comes through where he can take over the lease(?!). Joe (Thorsten Kaye) is the touchy-feely Russian doorman Danny has to contend with. He likes to refer to himself in the third person. "Joe got paint for you." "Joe go ATM for you." "Now you need Joe." Also irritating, Sharleen (Cody Horn), who is filming Danny for her video blog.

By the 40-minute mark, I was wondering if anything was going to happen at all. Bodies eventually start turning up, and we all know the fate of pets in a horror movie. But no amount of camera shaking, jump cutting, or tense music can up the anxiety when nothing's really happening. Ultimately, nothing in the way of an explanation is given for the semi-strange goings on. A waste of time.

Wallace and his dog/servant Gromit have a business called Anti-Pesto, security for their neighborhood's giant vegetables. Seems there's a rash of ravenous bunnies, and folks need protection to secure their spot at the Giant Vegetable Competition. Anti-Pesto pride themselves on being humane pest control, which leads to a storage problem. Wallace, ever clever, thinks he can rehabilitate the bunnies by connecting the BunVac to the Mind Manipulation-omatic. Through a mishap (specifically, from "suck" to "blow"), he creates a Were-Rabbit, a giant creature that appears at the full moon, and terrorizes all the gardens in town. Wallace insists they have the culprit, Hutch, locked up, but the Were-Rabbit continues to strike.

Curse of the Were-Rabbit is a cracking good time. Absolutely brilliant, hilarious, and beautifully (and, for certain, painstakingly) animated. As amazing as the W&G shorts are, creator Nick Park really outdoes himself with this epic animated film. One of my favorites, and right up there with some of Pixar's best.

I'm normally into the people-trapped-in-a-confined-space genre, but this one, not so much. Four friends go out to a lakeside cabin. Michael's Uncle Wade got them tickets to a Pagan festival, but they want to check out the sauna at the cabin first. Have I mentioned that Michael is a world class screw-up? Ian, Jenna, and Renee are trapped inside the sauna because of Michael's drunken shenanigans. He puts a ladder in front of the door, then promptly passes out on the couch. Renee's body is prominently shown off, and Jenna's is invariably covered up. Was that a contractual thing? I have to admit Ian's breakdown scene was pretty amusing, sort of like Ash in Army of Darkness. Don't know how intentional that was.

Steve (Michael Fassbender) and Jenny (Kelly Reilly) are going on a lovely holiday. One of Steve's favorite vacation spots is going to be developed into executive estates, and he wants to go this one last time to propose to his girlfriend. They camp by the lake on the beach, "off the map," seemingly in seclusion.

Only a group of local toughs show up to encroach on their good time. And man oh man, it doesn't go well. We witness Steve making mistake after mistake, but really, are his actions so far fetched? Realistically portrayed and genuinely frightening, considering the circumstances, and not out of the realm of possibilities (maybe save for some later coincidences) of what could happen to you or me. Solid ending (that is, if you like good horror movie endings). Reilly, in particular, is phenomenal in this. It's too bad she didn't do more movies of this sort.

What are the odds that I'm viewing another Noah Segan (Deadgirl) high school movie in the same week? I looked him up on imdb, and he was born in 1983! Time to retire this teenage crap. Look, you're no John Hughes.

Seems any horror movie revolving around video games/computers/technology automatically blows. This movie is no exception. Neil (Cody Kasch) receives a viral chain letter, and it gets passed on to four friends and relatives. Ignore it and you die. CHAIN LETTER! The box says: "As time runs out and the deadly letter's rules become more challenging, the survivors must untangle this chilling secret." I'm not sure when it becomes more challenging, or what there is to untangle... Ignore the message, and you are treated with a visit from a giant deformed creep. A subplot about an anti-technology cult is touched upon, but not explored. Many gruesome chain-related deaths and a grim ending cannot save this turkey, Turkey!

Jon Bon Jovi is a vampire slayer... and a surfer. Have I lost you yet? Actually, the surfing part I'm unsure of. Was he speaking metaphorically? See, he has a surfboard that houses his vampire "tools," and at one point he mentions he'd "rather be surfing." Whatever. Where's Tico? Of note: Their winch was on the fritz. That gave me a few laughs. You'd think they'd have everything in tip-top shape when they go out toasting vampires. Yeah, it's only life or death. Anyway, this was about as good as the first one, which wasn't all that great. Though with The King, John Carpenter directing, and James Woods hamming it up, obviously I have to give the edge to the original.

My copy goes by the name of Miner's Massacre.

I can't read the credits. Is that a bad sign? What else can they screw up?

Three couples who, quite frankly, seem to hate each other, go on a camping trip in search of some lost gold. What they don't know about is the curse of the Forty-Niner, Jeremiah Stone. If someone steals his gold, his ghost comes back to kill them. Wait. "I Want Me Gold!" This is cribbed straight from the pages of Leprechaun. Anyway, they steal the gold, get hunted, and find out from a hysterical, overwrought Aunt Nelly (Karen Black) that they need to return it to stop the curse. A few things amused me. Jeremiah bites off his own finger for no reason. A fender bender turns into a massive two car explosion. And Aunt Nelly has apparently never heard of stop, drop, and roll.

My copy of this film is called Junior.

Unrecognizable accents in an unrecognizable location. Not even the stars know where they are. Sandra and Rebecca are friends. Really close ones. I mean, to the point where I think it's a lesbian relationship. Unless they do things differently in Belgium (yes, I had to look it up). Their car breaks down in the middle of nowhere, and things go south from there.

I can't imagine the first hour of the movie is more than a few script pages. Just agonizingly long, pointless scenes. Until there's a big exposition scene with the father. From there, it gets a tad interesting, hence the extra stars. "Junior" himself, for having brain damage, is really quite agile. Like the guy is a dancer or something.

My God. It's no wonder I fell asleep the first time I attempted to watch this. Infestation is TOTALLY PLOTLESS for a solid hour, then it just turns into a rescue mission. Idiotic ending. I mean, all you need is the one-word title. No need for a synopsis. I don't know how the main guy got an acting gig, let alone as the lead character in this movie. How much more unlikable can a man be? I spent 91 minutes wishing he would die. The blonde weathergirl got naked and threw herself at him? WTF kind of a backward world am I living in? Seriously, this guy sucked. Ray Wise shows up to ham it up, then freaking die. Our hero lives on!

So this is what Christopher Atkins has been up to since The Blue Lagoon? I was ready to shut Caved In: Prehistoric Terror off after 3 minutes, once I witnessed the pitiful CG creatures. But I like to watch movies in their entirety to give an honest review. Fortunately, this one got better (although not in terms of CGI).

Ok, so the first thing that jumps out at you is the Sci-Fi Channel-level of computer effects (make that Windows 95-level), and not so coincidentally, this is a Sci-Fi made for TV movie (complete with bad laser effects! Haven't seen those in a while). Anyway, this is yet another subterranean creature feature, that at least had some practical gore, and plenty of European beetle fodder. Kind of fun if you have low expectations (...you had me at "Sci-Fi Channel"). I kind of dug the daughter (Chelan Simmons). Nice touch that they gave her the exact same haircut as her rich mom. She's a great screamer, and took bug guts to the face... repeatedly! Chelan turns up in other horror movies, most notably Final Destination 3, and Tucker and Dale vs. Evil, plus the original It TV mini series.

It's not only in the wrong aspect ratio, but the audio goes in and out of sync throughout the movie. Somebody absolutely butchered the authoring job on this. The movie was pretty good, if you're into satires of the industry. Unbelievably insane casting. Somebody knew somebody who called in a lot of favors. I can only assume no one got paid on this, because no one can afford this cast (and there are more in the extra). Side note: Ben Stiller is front and center on the cover, and he has exactly one line in the film. I don't even recognize the two ladies in bikinis who flank him. The lead actress (Alanna Ubach) is drop-dead gorgeous. I'll have to see what else she's in.

I actually thought this movie was a stronger, more rich horror movie than Get Out was. Both are comments on society. If you ask me, Jordan Peele grew with the making of Us. Get Out hits you over the head with a mallet with its racial agenda (hand this man an Oscar!!), Us is far more subtle in its commentary.

This movie is fairly unique, which immediately gets my attention. A family is attacked by their doppelgängers (or, "tethered"), who turn out to be an entire underground society, the product of some weird, abandoned experiment. I really dug the moody, classic score.

Surprisingly, this movie has a real sense of humor, which I found a little odd, considering the overall sense of dread. But it works. There's a great twist at the end, which will make you want to see it all over again with this new knowledge. In the extras, director/writer Peele says "I don't see myself moving far away from horror anytime soon," which is refreshing. Usually, directors want to move on, or stretch out to greener pastures from starting out in horror. He seems to be a real student of the genre, and a fan of the classics (also interesting as he's more well-known as a comedian).

This movie is one colossal mess. There are simply too many things going on at once. Not completely without its merits, though.

What I did like about this anthology film were its two (yes, TWO) wraparound stories. First, a little girl, Jamie (Alaina Karner), is watched by her babysitter (Elizabeth Stenholt). Jamie is obsessed with a local horror show, hosted by The Widow (Ellie Church) and her dead husband Charlie (Adam Michaels). I liked the dynamic between the babysitter (she IS my gf, picking apart all the crap I watch) and Jamie. The show they watch throughout this film, also called Skeletons in the Closet (not to be confused with Chop Shop, the VHS video they watch on Skeletons... also the former name of this movie...), shows abysmal short films. But the host segments are awesome. The couple (modeled after Elvira and The Cryptkeeper) bickers over their murderous relationship, and questions each other regarding the movies they're showing. Fun fact: Watch the Q&A, hidden under Interviews, and you'll learn a writer, outside the penning of the rest of the movie, wrote all the cracking dialogue between the two hosts.

Fortunately or unfortunately, I haven't decided yet, in the bulk of Ellie Church's movies I've seen, SHE is the highlight. Yes, it happened again here. I love the fact that she has her special place in low budget genre cinema, and seems to relish the role, but frankly, she has proven to me repeatedly that she can do better (not to say she's in exclusively bad movies, there are good ones here and there). Just the notion that she steals the show more often than not, perplexes me as to why she's not more in-demand.

That leaves us with the anthology films, and... Ouch! Anthology films as a genre, more-or-less without exception, contain at least a clunker or two. Skeletons in the Closet is all-out disastrous. First of all, the suspension of disbelief you need to believe Jamie is not only paying attention to the movies, but is eating them up, is simply too much to ask of me. She implies she likes to be scared, but you'll find exactly ZERO scares. And, the way these are cut and edited, there's also zero tension. Just the fact that she sticks with these and doesn't get bored, is too tall an order. The incessant reliance on rapid-fire music video-esque editing and serial flashbacks is enough for you to want to jam knitting needles into your eyes. If there's a nugget of intrigue, or a morsel of an interesting story, all that got botched. I thought the acting overall in this movie was good to fair, but sure as hell not enough to salvage any of the stories - outside the two embedded framework segments.

Or, Supernatural element takes a back seat to a post-war melodrama in a single room. Or, Tarantino this ain't.

I kind of had my hopes up for Brooklyn 45, and maybe that's my mistake. This is the TYPE of movie I normally like, anyway. I actually love single-location character studies (though it didn't come billed as that). No, it's kind of a bait-and-switch job by Shudder. Certainly short on scares, twists, intrigue, gore, surprises, etc. For a supposed horror film. And one with two séances! Oh, it's got prejudice, morality, loyalty, a historical subject... So critics can fall all over each other. No matter how poorly it's written.

Which brings me to my primary issue with this film: The script. This is a very long (and ballsy, considering how redundant the whole exercise is) 92 minutes, where the same themes are hammered into your head, over and over. Actors do their best, but dialogue is BRUTAL. It's almost unbearably clunky, stilted, and super-redundant. Overcooked melodrama makes for some wonderful LOL moments, though. Also, when this writer-director throws in the occasional period-specific lingo(?), it comes off as awkward and drawing attention to itself more than anything else.

You're a Nazi! I work at a grocery store! She's not a Nazi! Brooklyn 45 essentially boils down to this one question: Is the woman tied up in Larry Fessenden's closet a Nazi... or not?! It plays out like a bad whodunit. SPOILER: Worse still, the ending doesn't even have the courtesy to offer you an answer. Like, what was the point of all this, that I freaking waded through for an hour and a half? The ending literally offers the characters... A WAY OUT. Oh, thrown in are some 21st-century tropes, so you can tie a red bow on it, and characters guilty of despicable acts can sleep at night. "War never ends." I think it was even stated out loud! News flash: You just said that for the duration of the film.

...not necessarily make a good picture.

A struggling, near-bankrupt movie studio fools the government into financing a film, for one last kick at the can. Hey, pornography is huge, disaster is huge, why don't we take part of the money and cash in on that? Enter Deep Jaws (yes, part Deep Throat, part Jaws... part mermaids?), on a shoestring budget, shot in and around a backyard pool.

I think this movie succeeds as a thin grade-B exploitation picture, and very little else. It's an intriguing and silly concept, but there's just too many plot threads and characters (a number of them are totally inconsequential) to digest. Threads seem to go down one of two ways: Infidelity, or a woman wants to star in the movie (it's both at times). I think this filmmaker's goal was to simply get as many women (and men) as possible, naked. I suppose this is where this film works. Actually, kudos to the filmmakers for getting as many beautiful women willing to get naked on camera as they did!

For a comedy, the jokes are flat (as opposed to some of the ladies! Zing!). Tone is uber-campy, however. The story really goes nowhere, and was a bit confusing. Blame the script and editing. The confusion and vast cast come to a head in the final act. A porn crew is brought in (including George 'Buck' Flower) to film ONE scene... and to mock the studio head. All the suit's concerned with are a close-up of the "hook-up," and good coverage of the "splash-down." Oh, there IS a splash-down! (Maybe not in the way you'd think).

The only thing in this movie that made me laugh every time, was whenever their studio exec was in his office, and even broached the subject of sex, out would come "tennis girl" Roxanne Brewer and her buxom nurse ("Lady Diana"). Both topless, in order to take his temperature... the "old-fashioned" way! I can't explain it. It makes ZERO sense. But it made me chuckle.

Some sort of environmental disaster has occured, the end of man is imminent, and small patches of survivors are required to live in plastic bubbles, replete with bean bag chairs! Add copious amounts of simulated sex(?!).

Only from Something Weird's vaults comes a movie like Cries of Ecstasy, Blows of Death, a rather gloomy dystopian, post-apocalyptic flick, punctuated by long bouts of naked bodies.

I've got a 71-minute Blu-ray version with no ending, though I've read the final reel was damaged beyond repair. As it stands, I feel like this movie is ultimately an exercise in futility. I'll admit a couple things (out of countless things they tried) worked for me. There is a palpable sense of doom in this... uh, hampered by the fact that, past maybe the 15-minute mark, no one but the roving nomads on cheap dirt bikes wear their "required" masks outside. So much for the environmental threat. Now's a good time to point out that there's a certain percentage of inaudible dialogue. I'm guessing they gave up on the masks when they realized you couldn't hear dialogue through them.

I also dug the character of Keisha (Dianne Bishop), the sketchy, desperate deaf/mute traveler, who can't be touched... unless you want to be at the receiving end of some hilarious kung-fu moves! Sporting a number of braided pigtails and some sort of ridiculous swimsuit, it was a joy to watch her kick ass. Naturally a pack of roving marauders gun her down. Well, this movie had my interest for a couple minutes.

The dialogue sucks, there's not much of a sense of character or community, and well, there's no story. S#!t happens. The guard's uniforms are these hideous yellow and orange (apropos of 1973, anyhow) drapes/mumus, that looked knit to me! (I could be mistaken, the film's print is pretty rough). Also, they sample and loop a segment of Ringo's drum solo from "The End." TWICE!

There IS a sense of doom and desperation, which I'd consider this movie's strong suit, but it's offset by a real excess of softcore skin. Good enough for four stars, I guess.