TheBeardedWonder

I dunno what the reviewers here were on when talking about this movie - it's not good. Some of the intentional comedy was ok but the vast majority of the movie is just...nothing happening.

It repeats scenes over and over, the actors are clearly in their mid 30s playing high school characters, there was basically no gore or blood especially on screen, and the whole thing seems like it was made by some random guy and his friends.

I kept for something, anything to happen! It never did. I give it a few points for trying to use the old Irish folklore where most Halloween traditions came from - but even that was a dud and went nowhere. Pass on this, even as a background movie during spooky season it doesn't work...

Wow this movie was cheap and not well made. Clearly shot over the course of like a weekend for as low budget as possible. Half the shots are characters falling by staring right at the camera and they aren't even seen together for the entire scene except at the start and end.

Imagine a character staring right at you/the camera for an entire convo then cutting back to the other character and they do the same. This happens over and over.

I even kinda like M night's other movies because they're either actually competent or more likely - so bad they're fun. This however didn't even do that. Everything is way too serious and there's no fun to be had. The main character just constantly gets lucky over and over and over until you just roll your eyes.

Hartnett honestly did pretty well, I gotta agree with the others who said the same thing. Other than him nothing is major motion picture worthy and it's the kind of movie made to be watched on a plane or on TV for free a couple years after it comes out when you're bored and watching something with your dad.

Also - it's very clearly just a vehicle for trying to launch his daughters career unfortunately. She's one of the main stars and does a ton of singing and dancing. Sorry M night but we can see through that and it didn't work - she wasn't even that good at it.

Bill Burr is friggin hilarious. His points are often correct but really his delivery is what sells it. Unfortunately it's like he took the worst of the worst of his material then wasn't able to translate it from standup to screen.

So much of it just wasn't real. Nobody acts like that. Nobody says that. Which is fine in a movie - it's fiction. But when the entire movie is his replies to those situations then the whole thing doesn't work.

If the things being made fun of aren't something that we've all experienced and is real - then it doesn't work. They're crazy fictional versions of that so there's nothing there to relate to and laugh at.

Had it been dialed back a tiny tiny bit it would have worked. Instead it's so over the top that there's no laughs to be had. It's an old man raging against younger generations for things that's don't really happen the way they do in the movie.

Def a few chuckles here and there due to the leads being great and funny guys, but for the most part it's just obvious an old man thinks his way is best and that's that. I'm not saying I even agree with gen Z and millenials about everything either but they're depicted as such charicatures that any setup for comedy completely evaporates...

Holy crap this movie is funny by accident. If you like bad cinema and can pick up easily on mistakes and obvious signs of low budget and lack of talent - this movie is kind of a blast. I could def see this ending up on best of the worst type lists eventually, but prob not just because nobody knows about it.

The plot makes no sense, lines of dialogue are up front and explain what a character is thinking or about to do, the vampire from twilight who carried around plastic bags full of eggs for no reason is a buff ex army lawyer, explosions look like plug-in after effects anyone can do, they say things like 'oh no are you having another brain zap', pedro from Napoleon dynamite starts having noir style narration then just stops, and this is like if Neil Breen made an action movie with nicer cameras than he usually has.

We found ourselves cracking up regularly at what was happening- the effects, the acting, the lines of dialogue being spoken that were apparently not jokes, etc.

I don't know what this was. The whole thing felt like a drunken fever dream you'd have right before death. None of it worked and it makes sense it was straight to NF since nobody would ever pay real money and spend time to go to a theater for this generic drek.

The jokes are simply not funny. They're stale and from 30-40 years ago, which makes sense considering who the movie is coming from.

The acting is about the same as any B movie you'd find straight to video. It's clear Seinfeld used his influence to get a bunch of funny and famous people together, but then gave them NOTHING to work with.

The weird nasa style plot but about breakfast pastries was like half the jokes. If you busy up laughing at that and would do it for 90 or so mins, this may be for you. For us it was just moronic and baffling that someone thought it was enough to sustain an entire film.

At one point chef boyardee joins a gay partnership with the former Nazi and raise a living ravioli as their son. This is a real thing that happens in this 'movie'

Skip this please. It seems like it's 3 hours long because absolutely NONE of it works...

Look I love artsy flicks when they're done well. I can also appreciate a big budget silly movie - again as long as it does what it does in a good way.

I honestly cannot say that about this movie, which is somewhat surprising. I like vampire flicks, I like arthouse, I like david lynch, etc. And yet this movie did absolutely nothing for me. In fact less than nothing - I would have preferred to nap for 90 or so mins instead of watch this again.

I'm surprised to see so many falling for the directors tricks in an attempt to make this movie more than it actually was. Great he films parts in a pixely old gimmick gadget from the 80s - so what. It doesn't help the movie or mean anything and just looks like zoomed in nonsense every time. He puts it in NY then films inside just about the entire time so the setting has nothing to do with anything. He also does that same truck with like 5 of his other films - put something that doesn't belong in NY into NY and call it a day. It's lazy and again doesn't actually add anything.

The acting is meh, the writing is meh, the look is meh, the directing is meh, etc for a while and then it ends. I wouldn't say stay away from it since it appears lots of people into artsy movies like it, but I can say there's a 50/50 chance you'll wonder wtf everyone is talking about when they lavish praise on this student film of a movie...

I don't even know what this was. It had more family southern drama than horror or thriller or anything else. It must have cost like $59 to make because nothing happens. It's people talking here, then talking there, then around the street, then a house, etc.

It did basically nothing right. The acting is mediocre, the writing isn't up to where it needs to be, the pacing and characters aren't lively or interesting, and all of it was so pedestrian that anyone could have made it.

No gore. No style. No comedy. No nothing. Skip this one even if you love Halloween and horror and general autumn settings. It think it's a real movie because of the quality of the camera but it's not...

This movie just makes quick jokes about everything from like 1990-2000 but none of it really works. I liked that it was silly and nothing was taken serious, that's why 2 stars instead of one.

But the other half of it is that it needs to use a parody of something specific as a jumping off point at least. This is just anything and everything but then the vast majority of the jokes just don't work.

The cast was actually doing what they could I thought. But half the punch lines are 'remember this thing in the 90s? It uhhh...it existed.' And that's about it.

The general premise of a castaway spoof sounds good but that has nothing to do with anything really. Eric Roberts showed up and hugged on bikini clad women and got paid so he's actually having a pretty good time here.

So it's free on tubi and even then it's not worth the time for the most part. I mean it starts with a disclaimer of how it's bad on purpose and then a message from the directors mom. That should prob say eveeyrhing...

I don't know what this even was. It comes off like maybe it was a play that they did in front of an empty theater during the day and filmed multiple performances and then edited it together into a movie.

Even the sets look like a play. The blocking and movement of the characters absolutely reads like it too. So does the pacing of the dialogue like there's parts for laughs or dramatic responses from the audience. People look around towards where the audience would be when the deliver lines. Most of it takes place in the same living room location - to the point one of the characters sleeps on the couch in her pajamas and sleep mask. Why???

But it did just about nothing right. It looks crap. It's written terribly and people just outright tell each other what's going on in the movie or what their motivations are or why they're doing something. It's lit like an over saturated nightmare. People's skin look almost orange because the lighting is so harsh and from one specific direction.

Sometimes characters walk right off the screen when they're still talking to each other because it's so poorly filmed. Stuff happens and you're not sure what you're looking at because it's so zoomed in sometimes. People are blurry during some shots because it's not focused to the correct depth.

The plot is mostly two women squabbling about what they want a man to do with his time and money and body as he's an injured ball player and his mom and wife both have ideas of what he should do. They argue and disagree and throw barbs at each other for no reason other than the plot calling for it. It's insulting to both men and women for different reasons and says nothing of interpersonal relationships - or anything else. Then the wife leaves for another man to use and he falls for the cute nurse assigned to him. Blah blah blah.

I got this for $1 at some used store and it was definitely worth it to make fun of, but that's about it. If you like bad cinema and pointing out shortcomings, then this may be worth watching once. If not, avoid this melodramatic bilge and watch...we'll almost anything else.

Yet another pure flix type movie that has nothing going for it. The plot is lame and small, the acting is melodramatic and amateur, the characters are boring and cliche, and the movie has nothing to do with the tagline about Easter traditions or whatever.

This tried to do way too much and has stuff about domestic violence, the justice system, family hierarchy, etc. And at the end of the day the cop doesn't even solve the case anyway, the person admits they did it first.

So what did we just watch all that other dramatic BS for??? Even for free this movie wasn't worth watching. You know exactly what's going to happen well before it does and then it gets there in a boring and lame way.

Pass on this overly tripe and preachy nonsense...

Holy moly if you like bad movies - you need to see this. Characters come and go, half the shots are blurry, the dialogue seems to be written at random and nobody replies to what the other person just said, plot points make no sense (they leave then want to go right back to where they left), the bad guy catches up with the dude he wants to kill and instead just pushes him and then in the nexy scene talks about how bad he wants to kill him, fight scenes are edited so poorly you cant tell whays happening, the credirs list the same person twice for the same character, some parts randomly have title cards and then they stop, and its basically a remake of the warriors with 2 dudes and zero budget so every part is worse, plus it ends with a 2pac song that they def did not get the rights to.

Oh also they have some dude do a video review of the movie at the end for you so you know what to think, like its part of the runtime and movie itself. Shocker - he liked it. Plus the review here that gave it 10/10 is clearly the director since the username is spade1cs or something and the creator is named eric spade, and its full of bad grammar and poor writing just like the script.

If you like RLM or bad movies in general - you need to see this. His other flick japanesd borscht is on tubi but this one is $5 on prime and worth every penny in laughs alone...

This seems to be yet another movie about someone working through some issues via making a movie, which is always odd when it doesn't work. It's something about his dying father and cheating wife, but set agaisnt the backdrop of being a Hollywood talent agent??? Oh but also he's got a dead brother or something too I dunno.

Like huge chunks of it are way too dramatic and silly and don't fit the rest. The jokes aren't funny and Ben affleck spends half the movie in giant fake bunny rabbit type teeth.

His actions make no sense and stuff happens that makes you go wtf. There's cameos from tons of famous people which makes me think the writer and director was indeed actually a talent agent who called in all his favors for...this.

It's on tubi for free so check it out if you like bewildering and confusing schlock that will make you wonder how it even got made...

I don't know where to even begin. This was a so bad it's good kinda flick, like if you got a group together to check it out - you'd laugh and wonder aloud 'wtf' several times.

Maybe the amazing dialogue like 'I'm not gay. Am I gay???' or 'and we all know hookers love cocaine.' Or 'my bro just b@nged a hot chick in the bathroom.'

Or maybe it's the brother coming out as trans after driving 2000 miles to sleep on a couch then telling everyone he's gay, which are two very diff things

Or maybe it's the fact it's about a sleazy guy who sleeps his way through Hollywood and the chapters of the story are read out loud by a babies voice???

Or when he's told he's going to have bleach his @$$hole for the role in an African American pie spy thriller romance movie

Or how every character sleeps with him, helps him, compliments him, etc. Even lesbians want to go to go bed with him! Now that's very real and very cool. Or when some guy calls him and ends the convo by telling him he's the man.

Or how he just uses this poor younger guy for his money and berates him for not complimenting him enough. And makes him sleep outside after charging rent then sleeps with the guys date by lying and tricking her.

Or how the dude questions himself and someone tells him to just keep being himself cause he's so great and that's what inspires him to continue on rather than you know...learn or grow or develop. God forbid.

Or the end where the film admits it means nothing and adds up to zero.

Or the weird references to things from 10-15 years ago constantly. Did an AI write this???

Seriously this movie was written by some fratbro or something because it's trying to pretend he's a smooth talking charismatic van wilder type but it's just not written well enough to work

This was one you have to see to believe. Nobody would believe you if you described it to them and they'd assume you had a fever dream when ill or are mixing up like 7 diff movies.

If you like bad cinema, this is something special at times. We found ourselves laughing and so confused how this ever got made...

Please watch this POS movie if you enjoy so bad it's good fare like the room or the astrologer. This shows the director had no idea how to make a movie while following Covid protocol since this was made right as it started.

Characters have lines that jo human would ever utter. My fave was 'I need my meds or I'll have a psychotic break. Or pass out.' And everything is about Covid - the sets and decorations, the lines, the characters, etc is all focused on it.

Speaking of focus - tons of the shots are blurry. It reads like the director set a camera somewhere and hit record while in the other room and just tried to edit things together after. As characters move they get blurry or back into focus. Watching the 35 cuts in 4 seconds as someone went around a corner of a stairway and ran into someone else then let them go was astounding.

The RLM crew could have a field day with that scene alone - that's not even including the other 75 mins of footage that's just awful. Anyway just see this garbage for yourself, it's on tubi and had us cracking up every few mins...

Just wanted to point out to those giving this a high score for its faithful 'recreation' of 90s movies - this is an actual 90s movie that got shelved and released almost 30 years later.

I almost couldn't tell because the whole thing did indeed seem like a current movie made to look 90s - even the angles hide things from the background and such. But the lead actress lady was in tv and movies in the 80s and hasn't acted in anything since 1990. There's no way this was made 28 years later and she's still that young. Plus Burt ward was in it would look way older if it was made in 2018

I think the fact they remastered it AND added fake film scratches that go overboard made it seem like a hobo with a shotgun type movie and more current. But this was an actual 90s movie that got found and finished and released in 2018.

In that regard - a lot of the points it would get for it's accurate 90s look is lost since it was just made back then. It's kind of a fun 'so bad it's good' type action flick but doesn't quite reach the heights of classic movies in that genre like Miami connection or American rickshaw.

For free on tubi this was worth a one time watch for fans of extreme bad B movies. For anyone else it's a waste of time and should prob be skipped...

Not a poorly made movie by any means, in fact it's rather good looking and put together for the budget. But it's basically a watered down version of I spit on your grave - which took it further than this - and was made about 50 years ago.

So this has a very low budget and that's obvious by the lack of settings and characters. It's basically the same few people out in the desert because it's free to film in - and it was very clear that's the main reason that it's set there.

There's huge chunks of time with basically nothing happening too. They've also tamed down the opening assault and the revenge after, which is basically the entire reason to watch these kind of horror movies. All of the impact of the violence is removed which doesn't honestly help the movie or story unfortunately.

It's not a good sign when a movie made half a century ago pushed the envelope further. So while I'm interested to see what this group could put together with a more proper budget - this just didn't do much for me since it's a watered down and cheap version of an already superior movie from several decades ago.

Honestly promising young woman was another superior version of a similar story too. We got to know a lot more about the woman who was wronged and who she was before, and how the shocking act of violence changed her.

This went for the more visceral route then removed the gore and shock which worked against its own best interest...

This is a weird one to rate, because it's not really even a horror movie. As another reviewer noted - it seems like the script forgot it's a scary movie for LARGE chunks of time. The acting seems to be bad on purpose and certain lines are delivered very accurately to the style of movie it's recreating. But the writing is just bad and downright boring for large chunks of time. It's most just people talking in various locations.

The visuals however do honestly make the movie worth watching if you can find it and like to see a time period media be accurately recreated. I can't say enough good things about the sets and decorations and costumes. They nailed it! Especially for a low budget indie movie - they def put a ton of work into that aspect.

However just about everything else is lacking. The deaths aren't that gory, the comedy isn't funny, the characters aren't interesting, etc. So overall it's not great but if it's free on a streaming app and you wanna see the 70s intruder and camo slasher be retold pretty well - including all their shortcomings - this may be the meh flick for you.

This is seriously the worst thing ever. The songs aren't well put together, the singing is mediocre, the editing isn't competent, and the whole thing is basically a church play from a random one in the middle of nowhere they decided to film one person at a time and then edit together.

There's also nothing between the songs! No scenes or acting or story - it's literally just the songs from the play put back to back with 10 diff people recording their parts separately then put up on screen in different squares or bubbles.

Other than the hot old lady in the bathtub singing seductively to her rubber ducky. That was the highlight somehow. Yes. It is indeed that awful and amateur. We did have a pretty good laugh at it though and luckily it's only like an hour, so if you're out of bad media to chuckle at - this may do the trick.

Funny that the reviews of people who didn't like it all say these were zombie presidents.

In fact there's an entire scene where they discuss how they're NOT zombies because they don't want to eat anyone's brains and can think/talk. Makes me wonder if they even watched the movie at all - seems like they were in such a rush to post a review they didn't even pay attention. You know it's bad when even this movie was too much for you to keep up with.

The movie itself is actually very very watchable if you like low budget horror/comedies. Some of the dialogue is legit funnier than mainstream comedies that come out, and the cast was all clearly having fun and believed in the project.

The gals are super cute, and the main dude Brett with the long hair doing a typical valley girl accent for the entire movie cracked us up. No it's not award worthy but like I said, it's extremely funny and watchable if you're into this kind of flick.

Does it actually deserve a 10? Prob not - but we gotta balance out the people who didn't even really watch it then gave it a 2/10 review here...

This movie is not funny, just straight up. The jokes are not funny and the only person who seems to be trying in the entire cast/crew is John cena. He's up for anything and truly the best part by far. I didn't think I'd ever say it but he deserves better cause he's honestly trying.

The rest is a mishmash of other funnier plots and jokes and characters. Lots of them go nowhere and have nothing to do with anything. It was an excuse to do a dumb unfunny gag of some kind then it's over and has no bearing on the previous or next scene. Stuff just kinda happens and then the scene ends.

You can skip this one, even for free it's not worth the time or slogging through...

We thought this might be a lot of fun to check out while we subscribed to broadwayHD - especially since one of us LOVES Harry Potter and the other doesn't really know much about it.

Unfortunately this didn't work for either demographic. We both felt like it was pretty lazy and quickly put together, and basically just a series of references to HP. They can't name specific things that are copyrighted so the majority of the jokes are them changing it enough to not get sued. But then nothing after that - that's the whole bit.

Not in the funny meta way like you'd expect either. Half the time there is no joke, just literally 'hey remember this thing that happened that we can't get specific about???' or 'how about this character existing - remember that!!!' And that's about it.

The jokes aren't that funny unfortunately and the leads aren't great for something like this. Nobody is being lazy about their performance really but nor is anyone embodying the role and it's clearly made just for them. We never got that impression.

So for free in the background while you do the dishes - it may be fine if you're a hardcore HP fan. Otherwise you'll just be kinda bored and know you're supposed to be chuckling but simply won't be...

This was honestly hilarious. Pairing it with the other 2 flaccid tines of the big comeback - her new album and the visual video that accompanies it - make for a great sk had its good JLO night with your friends. Have some drinks and smokes with your friends and you won't stop cracking up at this.

From her obviously fake PR style narration to the camera, to her attempts to seem real and genuine that are again fake and scripted, to her just wishing Ben could see how beautiful and talented she is, to her attempting to be humble - all of it just falls so so so flat.

Bonus points if you can keep track of how many custom rhinestone and bejeweled water bottles she has throughout the film. We lost count and looked it up just to confirm that yes of course she sells them in her site. Yet again just another curated PR move within this already artificial attempt at drumming up business for her music and movies.

It will make you laugh and cry, but not for the reason they set out to...

Not bad but doesn't really add up to much. The lesson of 'sometimes you need to give in to your base instructs and be animalistic' is presented about 15 mins in - and the next 80 or so just kind of meander around doing the same thing until the muddled ending.

We get it. He represents the id part of the brain - the one that wants to do what it wants to do. It desires violence, inhibitions, mating, fire and alcohol, etc. It can't be reasoned with or talked to. But most of it adds up to just about nothing even with that extra dash on top.

What does him being into heavy metal have to do with anything? Why is he called an 80s term for a middle school metal burnout in 2011 when he wouldn't have been a kid or teen when the term was used? What does he really teach the family?

The kid and dad aren't really any better off or learn to use their anger for good. That's not really what he taught them nor does it go anywhere. It's also not really very funny for a comedy, nor dramatic enough to be a character study.

Natalie Portman is wasted and her role could have been cut entirely and it would be almost the same movie. Everyone gives pretty good performances though, but it's all for a middling and mediocre script unfortunately.

I'm a metal head, esp from the 80s, who loves indie and JGL - and even I couldn't get into this...

This is just an awful flick. It seems like everyone is trying so I don't fault anyone specifically - but sometimes that's just not enough.

The name and poster implies a parody of NOPE or at least a silly right wing version of it where it plays out comedicly or something as they run from the woke aliens or virus or whatever.

That honestly could have been funny even if I didn't agree with its views. Instead it's just a low budget waste of time with some of the directors friends hanging out and filming a movie when they got to it over the course of a weekend.

Nothing happens. It's just random people delivering poorly written lines in a terrible manner. I'd skip this one because it's not even entertaining in a bad way, it's the kinda flick you and your friends would make in middle school but then dragged out to 90mins instead of 10...

Holy hell this was absolutely dreadful. Literally from the start it makes no sense, characters disappear and then reappear, powers come and go as the plot needs, it contradicts itself every 5 mins along with the first movie, the cgi is absolutely garbage tier, and it ends with the EXACT thing as iron man did, etc.

Spoilers about the contradictions off the top of the my head:

This is set after AM1 and justice league - yet somehow him and his people are still a secret. Sometimes water makes them stronger - other times they're dead tired when they emerge from the ocean into land. The bad guy is coming after your entire race and family - but you don't even put a single guard outside your house with the baby in it. He says he's been waiting forever for someone like him to share his gift with - but he's from an entire society that does what he does. They make fake mechanical sharks that mimic the way real sharks swim - when they can just ride real sharks in the first place. They can jump super far and high in land, until it's needed then they barely can move. They take down the bad guys henchman in their big metal weapon - then just leave and let her live. The big bad guy has a nerd working for him who double crosses him - but he also lets him live for some reason.

Oh also don't forget when you break your brother who tried to kill you out of jail - that you stop for a haircut and beard trim off screen as you're trying to stop the entire destruction of the planet...