calytixa

I watched it because Anna Kendrick was on The Late Show recently plugging the movie.

It sounded very interesting.

A serial killer of women is one of three contestants on a dating show on TV.

Anna is some kind of "bachelorette" and by asking each of the contestants different questions she must decide which one to choose to go out with later.

I was expecting something like Hitchcock's "Rope" where Anna (like James Stewart) slowly discovers the deadly secret behind the serial-killer-contestant on live television.

But sadly, "Woman of the Hour" is not that kind of thrilling and suspenseful movie.

Instead we are treated with constant flashbacks of the past life and dreadful deeds of the serial killer and also of the lives of his victims.

From the gruesome opening scene alone, where the serial killer murders a young woman you already know that he is a dangerous and deadly psychopath hiding behind a friendly facade.

So why showing this over and over again in flashbacks that become extremely boring because you already know what will happen to the unlucky women he meets?

And, since they are flashbacks you also know that he didn't get caught, or even came close to it, so there is absolutely no suspense there.

With a better script, this could have been a very intense and thrilling movie like "Rope".

Instead, the dating show parts are just a few and we get treated with a barrage of tiresome and boring flashbacks that add absolutely nothing.

It seems as if the (untalented) makers of that movie wanted to do something like "Rope" but were not able to - so they just filled the movie time with endless and repetive flashbacks to at least reach the minimum amount of movie-minutes Netflix has ordered.

A wasted opportunity due to a total lack of talent and I wish I hadn't been fooled by the director on The Late Show into watching a movie I switched off after 20 minutes.

If you want to watch a really suspenseful and thrilling movie about sinister and dark things going on during a televsion show in the 1970s, I'd recommend "Late Night with The Devil".

"Woman of The Hour" is a waste of time.

A "German Horror movie"

That should have been warning enough.

But I gave it a try.

Well at least for 30 boring and very stupid minutes or so, most of them I also fast-forwarded.

It is supposed to take place in the "Bavarian Alps" in southern Germany.

But apparently the German "filmmakers" know absolutely nothing about their own geography, because according to one movie character, "Italy is right there over the border"

When if fact, right over the boarder of the Bavarian Alps there is Austria and a little bit of Switzerland to the west!

MEGA-FACEPALM!

Why, then, do you ask did I continue to watch a stupid movie made by absolutely stupid and braindead people?

Well I thought it would get at least so bad it is almost good.

But noooo.

A young woman, her father, her stepmom and stepsister arrive at a resort hotel in the Bavarian Alps, which apparently exists not only in Bavaria but also in Austria at the same time in some kind of twilight zone.

Everyone there is either a Brit, an American or speaks English fluently.

Which, in that region, is not the case at all.

You are very lucky to find someone there who is able to speak Standard German, let alone any foreign language ;-)

Everything is strange (and boring) in that run down hotel that seems to have been stuck in the 1970s.

It is such an ugly place that you ask yourself, why would anyone go on vacation there?

Of course, the local yokels (who all speak English fluently - even with each other) have some sinister intentions and the young woman is their next victim.

Duh.

Well, you immediately get the feeling that you have seen this movie a million times before (and many, many way better versions at that).

Sooo stupid.

And of course the "filmmakers" (or whatever they are) fail miserably to make anything interesting out of that outdated and boring premise.

People in that are strange, but also very boring and never ever interesting,

Also, for the first 30 minutes, absolutely nothing interesting happens at all - nothing.

There is no suspense, no thrills, nothing.

Even fast forwarding, the movie bored my brains off.

I didn't even care what happens to the young woman or what was behind it any longer.

An alien virus, an ancient deity the locals worshipped, some demon wanting to possess her, or anything like in all the other gzillion bad movies with the exactly same stupid plot.

Apparently in Germany, movies do not need to make any money. The German state funds them and nobody cares what happens afterwards or if anyone even watches them.

Needless to say, the actors (if you can call them that) are all horrible and you don't care at all about the characters they are supposed to portray - even if these characters are dull and annoying.

The "script" was probably written by some cheap AI.

"Hey, cheap AI, write me a stupid and braindead movie plot I can get some state funding for. You know, these state guys there are not that bright themselves, so any stupid garbage will do."

If you are into bureaucrats funded movies, maybe this one is for you.

Everyone else: do NOT waste your time with this clunker.

Sooo stupid!

This is one crazy, braindead fun ride of a movie :)

What else would you expect from a director called "Boston McConnaughey" :)

To say it does not take itself too seriously would be the understatement of the year :)

You notice the love the filmmakers put into every scene - and most of them work, they either make you laugh (a lot) or scare you (well, just a little bit, it is a crazy comedy after all).

There are some plotholes and things that don't quite add up - but I didn't care, because the movie was so much fun to watch.

The actors are all very good and although the script is (intentionally) silly you do care about the characters they portray and really hope they all survive and also save the planet from an alien invasion :)

Some people are trapped on a farm by unknown forces and have to figure out what happened to them and why.

Sounds familiar?

Yes, because, people being trapped somewhere while some horrors are closing in on them has been made a million times before.

I gave the show a try though, but when they disclose what it is all about, it just gets silly.

The trapped people also behave unbelievably stupid and there are many plot holes just to keep the silly story going.

Most of the characters are also just not interesting and you do not care at all what happens to them and the actors who portray them are mediocre at best.

In episode five they come up with a sort of background story which absolutely makes no sense at all, and you notice that you have watched something really stupid so far and wasted your time.

And from there everything goes downhill fast.

It is really a show the fast-forward-function was invented for.

But even that can't save it from me leaving it all together.

The movie has a great cast - but that's about it.

Just a few minutes in I thought: "Haven't I seen something like this a gzillion times before - and waaay better at that?"

The story about the two brothers in crime never gets interesting or entertaining.

Because of the great cast I decided to hang in there but I wish I hadn't.

The movie just drags on and on and I caught myself dozing off after 20 minutes or so, but there was no reason at all for me to give it another try.

The characters are as lame as the story and it only works well as a sleeping pill or if watching grass grow is too exciting for you.

The first 20 seconds are enough to tell you that this movie is absolutely stupid and not worth watching.

Kate Beckinsale stands on top of a skyscraper at night all clad in black - but wearing a cheap white wig you can see from miles away.

Facepalm!

She then ropes down from that skyscraper with her white wig you can see all over town to the bottom of the skyscraper to sneak into the front door.

WAIT!! WHAT??? Yougottabekidding!

Sooooo stupid.

Why did she go up to the roof of the skyscraper in the first place, when she could have just walked right up to the front door on the ground floor?

And why is she all dressed in asssassin's black camouflage when she is wearing this really cheap white wig that will give her away in an instant?

Soooo stupid.

But that's not even the worst of it.

Apparently she broke into the skyscraper on the ground floor, used an elevator to get to the roof so she could rope down again to the ground floor to break into a building she was already in????

Wait??? What!!!

MEGA-FACEPALM!

Couldn't reach my remote fast enough to turn that garbage off.

Actually the trailer tells you the whole movie.

And it is really about some zombie kangaroo who kills a lot of people in the Australian Outback.

It sounds like a hilarious, funny horror comedy you'd enjoy watching and have a good laugh at - but noooo.

The biggest flaw of that kangaroo zombie flick is that it totally wastes that opportunity and tries to be an earnest shocker movie.

But that does not work, because while the movie takes itself way too seriously and tries to scare you, it fails miserably because once "Rippy" the zombie kangaroo enters the scene you can not stop laughing at all. :)

And that's not only because the whole idea is so silly but because they used some very cheap and obvious CGI for "Rippy".

"Look - it's Rippy the zombie kangaroo out of my old computer I made with the help of the book "Cheap CGI zombie kangaroo for dummies" :)

The movie never gets any good it isn't even so bad it is almost good.

Unfortunately it isn't really worth watching.

I almost felt sad for poor ol' Rippy, who desperately tries to scare you, but you always end up laughing about it.

And I was really looking forward to watching a funny, braindead movie with the typical down under humor - but nooo - instead I got "Rippy" the serious serial killer movie about a zombie kangaroo.

Facepalm!

Braindead in Space OR The Adventures of The Stupid Space Kids OR Does East End Andy dream of better movies?

Well, I fortunately I turned that garbage movie off after I wasted 30 minutes of my life with it.

This movie is soooo stupid and when you think it can't get more idiotic - it always does!

Where to start?

Well, humans somehow have invented faster than light space travel and smart robots (synthetics) but they still go to distant dirty planets to mine some crappy metals in dangerous conditions on their own.

Why??? Don't they have robots??? Or AI-machines??? Or a brain?

And why do they even need these crappy metals, when they are so advanced they know faster-than-light-travel??? And wouldn't travelling this far be more expensive than anything they could find there??

So stupid.

Anyway, some kids do slave labor on one of these mining planets it takes nine years of space travel to get to.

So, where they sent there as babies???

And where are the parents???

And why does it take nine years to get there?

So stupid.

Apparently, they can't leave the mining planet because their contract runs out no sooner than in five years!

What???

So they made contracts as little kids with the mining company?

While in cryo sleep?

And why doesn't the mining company use AI-robots???

Sounds stupid?

Yes, because it is!

But that's just the start.

These kids only know that mining planet but they all speak a thick British Cockney accent as if they all came from the East End of London.

Ohhhh, facepalm!

They are on the bottom of the food chain on that mining planet, but one of the East End Kids somehow manages to discover a huge abandoned space station suddenly appearing in orbit.

Wait - what? How???

How did a mining kid do that and NOBODY else on the planet noticed this HUGE space station???

And how did it get there when it is a space STATION and not a space SHIP?

So stupid.

So the extremely Stupid Space Kids decide to go up there, to steal some cyro chambers they think are also up there so they can travel home.

Wait - what???

To do so they just hop onto another space ship, they steal from the mining company and go up there.

And NOBODY stops them or goes after them!

What????

And how do these extremely dumb kids know how to fly a spacecraft?

"Hey, you, yes you, you stupid looking dumb kid. You are just the right kind of idiot we need to teach how to fly a spacecraft. Takes just four years, a college degree and extremely hard training - but hey, who cares! I have a stupid movie to shoot and I need you dumbo to know how to fly when you are 17."

So stupid.

So, the Stupid Space Kids go up to some creepy, abandoned space station, that has mysteriously just appeared there in orbit, where something really horrible must have happened

Something so dangerous that it has killed hundreds of adults on board.

Hundreds of adults that is, with guns and advanced equipment - who were also too dumb to send out some kind of distress signal.

Well, all the Stupid Space Kids had to come from somewhere.

Stupid Space Kids have absolutely no idea what has happened on that Space Station of Doom.

They have no guns, no plans no good equipment - no hazmat suites, or space suites, but who cares?

They just fly there on a stolen space craft, and enter the SPACE STATION OF DEATH

What could possibly go wrong?

Okay they have a robot, called Andy with them who for some reason is a very slow thinker (aka stupid).

Wait - what??? Why??

Isn't he supposed to be smart when he leaves the factory???

And why does a robot speak like an East Ender too?

But it turns out, he just needed some upgrade chip, Stupid Space Kids handily find on that space station of horrors and he suddenly turns into some genius.

So easy - who would have thought of that before?

Certainly not our Stupid Space Kids.

Once upgraded, EastEnd Andy is the only one on that space station with (literally) half a brain he and warns the very Stupid Space Kids not to go any further - because the whole EMPTY STATION of HORRORS reaks of death and destruction.

But who cares?

Certainly not our Stupid Space Kids.

Of course Stupid Space Kids encounter (really NO spoiler ahead) our lovely Aliens (the real heroes of that idiotic movie).

This time the Aliens grow from baby Alien to full grown monster-murder-machine Alien in just a few minutes.

What???? How??? Yougottabekidding

Soooo stupid.

MEGA-FACEPALM!

The Aliens wipe out Stupid Space Kids but for two of them - and smart EastEnd Andy.

And then I could not take it any longer and switched it off.

The Stupid Space Kids were (as the name implies) soooo stupid and annoying that the whole 30 minutes or so I watched that idiotic movie, I was rooting for the Aliens.

I just could not wait for the Aliens to finish these Stupid Space Kids off.

And when they did almost kill all the Stupid Space Kids there was absolutely no reason for me to watch if just the remaining two would make it.

Well, I cared a bit about EastEnd Andy, the smart robot but that was not enough to keep me watching.

Whoever wrote and made this idiotic movie could really use some intelligence upgrade chip.

Perhaps East End Andy has one left?

I've watched the first two episodes of "Doubt" or "Such a Close Traitor" and I'd rate them as 9 out of 10.

It is veeery suspenseful and thrilling.

An unsocial but brilliant police profiler has been living with his 18 year old daughter in his big house but apparently only for a short time.

We don't know what happened to the mother, but she divorced the police profiler some time ago and seems to have died recently.

The daughter is very cold, meticulous and calculating. She does not feel empathy for anyone and when she shows emotions in public they are just made up to fool people to make them do what she wants - or to hide who or what she really is.

The police profiler has to solve one last case before he moves somewhere else with his daughter.

During the investigation of the murder of a young girl the police profiler begins to suspect his daughter of being the killer.

The longer the investigation goes the more evidence leads to her as the culprit.

We also learn that the police profiler has also been suspecting his daughter of having killed her little brother when she was about 12.

Then he discovers that during the current police investigation his daughter has been snooping around his files and then destroyed a piece of evidence (some little fuzzy red cat pendant) which would have linked her directly to the murder.

The police profiler then confronts his daughter and asks her directly if she had killed the young girl a few days ago.

She just stands up and without emotions asks her father instead: "Do you REALLY think my little brother died from an accident - and do you REALLY think mom committed suicide?"

Wooooooooooooo.......

I really can't wait to see the next episode!

I must admit I am a bit biased because I really like David Mitchell - be it in "Upstart Crow" or in the wonderful "Would I lie to you?"

"Ludwig" was not written by Michell himself but it sure looks like they only had him in mind to play that role.

The show does not take itself too seriously and it is light-years away from real police work, but that does not matter at all - in fact that is what makes it so enchanting.

It is a hilarious, funny and smart show much like "Death in Paradise" or the "Miss Marple" movies from the 1960s with the unforgettable Margaret Rutherford.

It's a crime-comedy of sorts, where Mitchell has to solve a very puzzling murder case each episode.

And he does so with his character's amazing logical and puzzle-solving mental abilities.

The fact that he just impersonates his twin police detective brother to find out why that one disappeared just adds to the comedy.

It is also fun trying to solve the puzzling crimes on your own like in an Agatha Christie novel, but believe me it is not easy :)

So I highly recommend "Ludwig" if you are into intelligent, funny and enchanting televsion.

Psycho Couple Vs Stupid Couple

A psycho couple with a kid they stole befriends other couples on vacation and then invites them to visit them back in England.

They have a huge old farm in the middle of nowhere.

There, the psycho couple robs the other couple and then kills them.

They have done so a dozen times and none of the families they killed have ever been missed by anyone nor have they ever told anyone that they were going to visit that psycho couple.

And apparently nobody has ever gone looking for them.

And of course no police investigation was ever done, and even if so, no police investigator would have ever wondered, why so many British families went missing after their vacations.

Hmmm, and what could be the commonality in all these cases?

Sounds stupid.

Yes, because it is.

But that's by far not half of it.

They psycho couple does not rob and kill the other family right away, but they entertain them as guests and hang out with them in the deserted countryside.

Why?

Maybe because being psycho killers and all, they thought somebody would see them all together, like nature lovers, campers or hikers.

And then this stupid movie would get at least a little bit interesting.

But no.

Of course, being murderous psychos even the absolutely dull, gullible and stupid couple they plan to rob and kill in this movie finally notice something is off and leave.

And that after 45 extreeemely boring minutes, where psycho couple and gullible, stupid couple just talk about boring stuff at length.

Buuuut on their way home, stupid couple's daughter gets a hissy fit because she forgot her beloved puppet at the house of horrors.

So, stupid couple turns the car around and they drive back to psycho couple's farm they just fled.

And of course psycho couple manages to convince stupid couple to stay a little longer.

What a bad movie.

So it's another boring 30 minutes of boredom, partying in the garden, talking nonsense and so on.

When stupid couple finally discovers the murderous intents of psycho couple, 80 totally stupid and boring minutes have passed.

I fast forwarded most of them, I must admit.

Then, some enfrentation and fighting ensues - but also in the most boring and stupid ways possible.

At this point I could not take it any longer and turned that garbage off.

There was absolutely nothing in this stupid movie before, that made we want to see how it ends.

You just don't care about stupid couple, because they are so annoyingly stupid and gullible that you wished, psycho couple had finished them off right after arrival at their farm.

Wait, why didn't they?

Because then the whole stupid movie would have been over in 10 minutes!

Worst garbage I fast forwarded and then turned off before the end in a long time.

Recently, in Korean TV and Cinema they made a lot of sequels or follow-up seasons that were really, really bad.

Like The Witch 2, Sweet Home seasons 2 and 3, The Good Detective season 2 and so on.

The second season of The Gyeongseong Creature is a pleasant exception.

The first season was boring, because the story was only good for a mini-series but they stretched it to 10 episodes, which ruined it completely.

The second season has only seven episodes, it is very fast paced, does not repeat itself and you always want to know what happens next.

It shines where the first season failed.

You don't even have to watch the boring first season you can jump right in and start with the second season.

The new season plays about 80 years later than the first one and I promise you it won't bore you to death like the first one.

I am glad I gave it a try.

Why make a "prequel" to the really scary and great movie classic "Rosemary's Baby" when you tell everyone right from the start it is the same as the original???

"Rosemary wasn't the first"

MEGA-DOUBLE-FACEPALM!!!

(because one mega-facepalm doesn't cut it in this case)

So it is the same story all over again but this time made by a director you have never heard of before (for good reason) instead of a very troubled genius like Polanski.

When the whole point of this totally unnecessary remake was to bore you until you can't take it anymore, they have succeeded.

But even if you didn't know exactly what will happen - this clunker is really bad.

Bad acting, an absolute non-sensical script and sooo tedious.

Nothing of interest happens there - they even botched the ending.

Hollywood clearly has run out of ideas and talented filmmakers long ago.

This is a remake (or prequel) nobody wanted or needed, made by "filmmakers" (and I use this term very lightly in their cases) nobody wants or needs.

Do not waste your time because - unless you need a good sleeping pill.

As that it works wonders and it will put you down in just a few minutes!

But if you dare to watch it all you will surely get an entry in the Guinness Book of Records for "Most facepalms ever made while watching a really bad movie"

Be warned of the curse of Rosemary's boring baby.

"The new film of Roberto Minervini" Who???

Not that anyone has ever heard of him or watched his other boring movies.

Although the civil war was fought between North and South, for some very stupid reasons some northern soldiers are being sent to the West to "unchart unknown territories" because apparently the North has soldiers to spare to do something absolutely unnecessary for the war effort.

During the whole boring movies these soldiers just wander around, make camp and talk a lot of boring nonsense.

Like: "Have you ever shot anyone?" "Yes, a rabbit."

Really deep and philosophical. Duh.

Nothing else happens.

These "soldiers" never behave like real soldiers have during the civil war and at no point talk like them.

For some perspective I recommend the great Ken Burns documentary.

Or just watch any Spaghetti Western from the 70s.

Even "Django Vs Space-Zombies" is more realistic (and also way more entertaining) then this garbage.

Why make a movie about a comic book character like The Penguin when you know how it all ends?

Sooner or later The Batman will show up, knock The Penguin out cold and throw him into Arkham prison for the criminally insane.

And why would an insane character like Cobblepot (or Cobb as they call him in this series) take in some street kid?

Does not add up at all.

"The Batman" from 2022 was pretty boring without any memorable scenes or highlights - so much so that I almost forgot I had watched it.

I gave "The Penguin" a chance though, but it is also very boring and there is nothing of interest happening at all.

I wish Batman had showed during the first ten minutes, put Penguin away and saved me from watching a boring episode.

At least they came up with the most stupid title for a movie ever.

But that's about it.

The rest is what you'd expect from a movie with such a stupid title.

Apparently filmed on an old iphone some doofus characters wander amilessly through the woods searching for Bigfoot.

That is when they don't just sit around somewhere talking about some nonsensical and boring stuff.

Needless to say the "actors" (if you can even call them that) are really bad only to be outdone but a ridiculous "script" and lousy directing.

It all looks like some totally stoned dudes wandered around the woods and said "Let's just shoot some stupid movie on our old iphones, anyone got an idea?" "Well, uh, I dunno, but has anyone ever heard about that Bigfoot dude?" "Never heard about that one, dude. Let's just shoot a movie about it and put it on my youtube channel. I need some more suscribers." "Uh, dude, you already have 8, what do you need more for?"

Needless to say, even in the category of "Brainless amateurs trying to film a movie" - "Feet of Death" is a new low.

If you know a little bit German I recommend watching "Pastewka" on amazon prime - especially the first five seasons are hilarious!

It is loosely inspired by "Curb your Enthusiasm" with Larry David but it does not take place in fancy Beverly Hills but in a somewhat run down apartment building in an also somewhat run down residential area in Cologne.

And that's a good thing!

Pastewka lives in that house with his girl friend, his brother, niece and an annoying female student downstairs.

The first five seasons are the best, because they are quirky, funny, totally political incorrect, intelligent and just hilarious.

You also feel like at home in that apartment building with these crazy Pastewkas and their entourage.

In season six they all move to the outskirts of Cologne into some fancy big house.

Season six and seven are still very good, but now they live in a boring posh area and all the fun and craziness of living in a diverse inner city area is gone from the series.

In season eight Pastewka and his long-time girl friend (finally!) split up, he lives in a RV, all the sympathetic and quirky characters in the Pastewka universe are gone and the series becomes almost depressive.

All the fun of watching this show was completely ruined.

The only good thing is that his annoying girl friend is gone too (and the bad actress who played her).

She was as much hated as the wife of Bryan Cranston (Walter White) in "Breaking Bad".

Can you imagine "Curb your enthusiasm" suddenly taking place in some boring midwestern suburb without Leon, Jeff, Susie or Funkhouser, while Larry lives alone in a RV???

Sounds extremely stupid but that's exactly what happened with the "Pastewka" show in season eight.

It became so bad so that I almost left the show then and there.

But fortunately it became better during the second half of season eight and season nine and ten are really great and hilarious again.

If it were not for his annoying ex-girl friend showing up again.

And I thought they had finally gotten rid of her!

Well, that's what fast-forward was invented for.

Other than that, I highly recommend this series :)

I absolutely loved the first season!

It is a little bit like "Lilyhammer" which I also loved.

But this time a New York mobster does not end up in Norway but in Tulsa - which to to him is equally as strange.

There, in Tulsa, Stallone tries to build a new criminal empire with the local yokels - and it is absolutely hilarious!

The first season was full of quirky (but believable) characters, it was very funny but also had some thrilling and dark moments.

I've never been much of a fan of Stallone but in this case he absolutely nailed the role.

So much so that I think no other actor could have done it as good as he did.

I highly recommend this series and I am looking forward to watching the first episode of the second season today!

Someone "hacks" a train (sooo stupid) and makes it drive to the next train station.

Yes, that's the premise.

Facepalm!

There is apparently no conductor on that train.

Also there are no brakes you can apply manually.

Double Facepalm!!

If that sounds stupid to you - it's because it is.

And they even stretched it to six episodes.

The actors are really bad and you really do not care about the persons they portray.

Most of them are really annoying and very unlikeable and at no point do you really care about what happens to them.

This series about a train without brakes is going nowhere and in the most boring way possible.

The first episode was very promising.

A police seargent investigating one of her higher ups because she suspects he doctored a case some 14 years ago wich may have resulted in an innocent man being sent to prison.

The two main characters were also very interesting and the actors who portrayed them were really great.

But unfortunately the series goes downhill after the first episode.

You notice that they had to stretch it to eight episodes when the material would have made a great movie or a four-part miniseries.

As a result the series gets so boring and uninteresting that you can easily just skip to the last episode and you'll miss nothing inbetween.

But even the last episode is so tedious and boring that I switched it off because I couldn't care less how it all ends.

A good premise and great actors in yet another story stretched waaaay over its limit by some streaming service.

And therefore it became unwatchable for me.

It is about a young vampire girl who can't kill people so she hooks up with a suicidal boy to get some juice from him.

It starts of as only mildly interesting but even that turns into complete boredom.

There are a few funny scenes, but you don't laugh outright because they are just mildly funny.

The "scary" scenes are just mildly scary as well.

The whole movie just drags on and on and there are no memorable scenes or anything original.

And the two main characters, the vampire girl and the suicidal boy are just soooooo boring.

After a while you don't care about them any longer and you do not want to know what happens to them.

I must admit I fell asleep at the end of the movie but there was no reason for me to switch it on again.

I was checking out Apple TV on a trial basis (which is free) but could not find anything interesting to watch there.

I ended up with "Slow Horses" because I like Gary Oldman.

At first I did not know what to make of it.

Gary Oldman (as Jackson Lamb) heads a strange department of MI5 (some kind of British FBI) - far, far away from the shiny headquarters.

It is called "Slough House" and there they hide away all the losers and good-for-nothing agents who made some embarrassing, career-ending mistake.

They are just a handful and Lamb tells them on every occasion he gets that they are useless and that he does not like them.

Unless he is not farting while sleeping after drinking in his dirty office.

These "losers" do very boring and tedious in a run down, dirty old building.

And the show starts of like that - tedious, boring and dirty.

But after one and a half episodes this changes.

All the loser agents get their act together (well, at least a little bit) their grumpy boss actually does care about them (at least a little bit) and they stick up for each other (a little bit).

Each season deals with one case.

The ways these agents deal with these cases are always witty, there are a lot of twists and turns and it is just fun to watch.

Sometimes the agents of "Slough House" solve a problem by doing something seemingly stupid which turns out to be clever in the end - or it is indeed stupid and they just get lucky when it ends well :)

"Slow Horses" is not some hard-boiled spy thriller like "Smiley's People", nor is it some silly comedy like "Johnny English"

It is something inbetween, like the thrilling yet funny James Bond movies with Roger Moore, or "The Avengers" TV series with Diana Rigg.

"Slow Horses" does not take itself too seriously, it is fast paced and entertaining and I really enjoyed watching it :)

I should have been warned not to watch this TV series becaue unfortunately I watched a bit of the Lord of the Rings movies some years ago.

What a garbage that was!

And sooo stupid!

The TV series is even worse than the movies and that says a lot!

The third movie is basically the same as the second with some stupid orc armies trying to storm some castle with the same failed strategy again, while they could have just laid siege to it and waited for everyone in there to die of hunger and thirst.

I never understood who this "Sauron" thing was anyway and what was so special about these rings.

Perhaps because they never really tell you?

They were always called "Rings of Power" - but what powers exactly?

And why did this Sauron-eye-thing want to exterminate everyone in Middle Earth?

And then? Hover above his mountain as some giant eye surrounded by orcs?

Wait...couldn't he have just continued to do so without all the killing?

And if this "One Ring" (what a creative name for one ring, duh) could only be destroyed in that volcano - why not just fly there with one of these giant birds and drop it in there?

Could have saved me from watching three stupid movies.

In my defense though, I always thought they would get better instead of worse.

At least the production design, the actors and the direction was top notch - and you were being transferred into some wondrous fantasy world that was nice to look at for a short time, but nothing else.

The TV series does not answer any questions you might have about the origin of it all.

Nothing makes any sense and everything in that version of Middle Earth looks just horrible.

The elves all have big and square heads with giant pointy ears.

The costume design is cheap and everyone there looks like cosplayers.

The overall production design is ridiculous and schmaltzy and has some cheap 1970s theme-park feel to it.

The special effects look crappy and appear to have been made by one guy alone in his mother's basement on one very old computer.

Or perhaps it was "The One Guy" with the power of "The One Computer" - as they would say in Middle Earth.

The actors are all unknowns (for good reason) and perhaps were cast because they were cheap.

And all are mis-cast. None of them is the right for the role they are supposed to portray - even if that role itself is stupid.

Everything in this series feels out-of-place and just not right.

There is no singular great vision - just a lot of untalented people creating a miserable fantasy world while telling a stupid story.

That's why I switched off the first season half way through the first episode.

Nevertheless I even thought to give the second season a try.

To its credit I lasted there for one and a half episode.

Only the parts when the Sauron-guy (who apparently is also some shape-shifting mud creature and not only some giant eye floating above some mountain) schemes and tries to reach his goals while pretending to be a human, are modestly interesting.

The rest I skipped fast-forward because they were so stupid.

There is some beardy old geezer wandering through the desert with some little girls with a lot of dirt in their hairs who seem to come from Ireland.

What?

Why do they speak with a thick Irish accent in Middle Earth???

And what are they doing in the desert?

Skip!

Then there are these dwarves who for some stupid reason still live in some giant caves although there is some nice and sunny landscape right outside and even in Middle Earth the stone ages must be over.

And they are all from Scotland!

What?

Why do they speak with a thick Scottish accent in Middle-Earth?

And why don't they all look like pale vampires when they constantly live in a cave?

And why are they all so small when the cave they live in is so huge?

Skip!

Then there are these ridiculous looking elves in their cosplay outfits and cheap hair styles.

They are mostly standing around in their old 70s-theme-parks and they are just staring at each other while talking about some boring stuff at length.

Over and over and over again.

Skip!

Then there are these stupid rings everyone is so keen about.

The elves with the giant ears and square heads have made them for some reason....

But why? And what are these rings even there for?

Who knows?

The only "power" these crappy rings right out of an old chewing gum vending machine have, is that everyone who puts them on looks at them bewildered and at length...

"Uhhhhhh, look at this ring, uhhhhh, sooo powerful, uhhhhh.... sooo shiny......"

Sooo stupid!

Skip!

Okay, I skipped all of that nonsense (and more) and watched only the Sauron-in-disguise-parts.

Though I never understood what he really wanted or why he needed one of these stupid rings, I continued to watch because I thought maybe there is some kind of big reveal coming...

Instead, this Sauron guy suddenly turns into some kind of elfish Jesus and he comes down from the heavens to the mere mortals and immortals ("immortals" - what???) of Middle Earth.

Yes, they literally show you that, with clouds, rays of light, music and all.

The reveal I thought was coming was in fact the stupid "second coming of Sauron" in front of some crappy CGI clouds.

Now I've had it!

Switch off!

I even tried to read the books about the cheap "power rings" from an old chewing gum vending machine some years ago.

And it is no wonder why the movies and the TV series are so bad considering the stupid source material.

The author created a wonderful yet superficial fantasy world with lots of fancy names, characters and places - but he could not even come up with a decent and believable story to take place in that world.

The fancy fantasy world can also not gloss over the fact that the people living there are really not very bright - to say the least.

These Middle-Earthians are all a little bit, well, let's say, really stupid.

For thousands of years they have not made any progress in science or within their primitive societies.

While on the other continents around them, people there got rid of their stupid kings and queens and now have giant 8K TV sets to watch crappy fantasy shows on, the Middle-Earth-Dumbos still (literally) live in caves, have never heard of democracy and their greatest achievement after thousands of years is ......... NOTHING.

Oh, my...what a stupid story about some veeery stupid people!

And while the stupid movies are a letdown from the stupid books, with the stupid series, the ring-saga has reached its stupid rock bottom.

Don't waste your time - or buy yourself some cheap ring from an old vending machine, look at it and say for hours:

"Uuhhhhhh, my precious, uhhhhhh, ahhhh, so shiny"

I promise this makes for better entertainment than the whole stupid lord of the rings garbage.

This series definitely does not take itself too seriously :)

It is very quirky, funny and always clever and engaging.

A young police detective gets transferred to Seoul from the countryside in 1958.

There he had distinguished himself as being the police officer who had caught the most cow thieves :)

In 1958's Seoul (which they recreated very convincingly) he finds gangs and corruption - especially within his own police station.

But he and his new superior pick up the good fight (adding two more later on).

The always handle their cases with a lot of wits and smarts, never get deterred, even when the going gets tough and it is just great fun to watch them do so.

The series is part comedy, part police drama whereas the comedic parts are clearly paramount.

But it is also very interesting to watch how they had to solve cases in 1958 solely relying on their smarts because there was no CCTV, internet or modern forensics back then.

When the rookie detective from the countryside asks his older superior in Seoul early on, why he fights his lonely fight against injustice and for law and order, he says: "It does not hurt when there are people like me in this world too."

It also does not hurt to watch this series because it always stays clever and smart and is great fun to watch :)

The "true event" it is supposed to be based on is in fact the sad story of a family with serious mental health issues.

Haven't these (real) people not suffered enough?

Now their plight gets dragged into the limelight again by some washed-up, has-been director with only one decent movie under his belt ages ago, and Netflix - who else?

It is a sad fact that to this day people with mental illnesses still get labeled as "possessed by some demon" and don't get the professional medical and psychiatric treatment necessary.

Netflix always acts sooo progressive and diverse minded but that they abused a real black family for this garbage of a bad movie is not absolutely shameful but tells you who they really are: Just another big media company doing anything for money - and this goes for everyone involved in this shameful movie too.