Lisandro Berenguer-Grassi

Tim Burton has shown many things in his life as a filmmaker: a knack for gloomy atmosphere; a real sense of empathy for the lonely and different ones; a wicked sense of humor; he's even shown that he can play by the rules of the studios, delivering not only once but twice, even making a sequel and pulling it off.

Sadly, none of that shows in "Planet...". The problem does not lie in the fact that they tamper with the story from the first film. As they've made clear, the producers and director are not trying to remake a classic, but use it (and the book it originated from) as a stepping stone to build the new movie, so their deviations from the original would not be a problem... if they were good.

Burton doesn't have a good starting point: the script is very, very bad, your usual Hollywood-esque pastiche of old lines with (supposedly) new parallelisms and not-very-bright pop culture references. All that would be interesting if something happened, along the story, to the characters. Sadly, it is not so: the astronaut, the good apes and the pretty girl remain the same (that is, totally uninteresting) throughout the movie. Even the bad apes are not really changed, as the ending goes. And let's not even start with the inconsistencies...

This is by far Burton worse movie ever, light years away from his classics. His trademarks barely show: we don't care about what happens with the characters at all, the sets lack the grandeur that we've learn to love and expect ("Sleepy Hollow" and "Batman" come to mind) and his "wicked sense of humor" is limited to changing classic lines from being spoken by humans to simian mouths.

The acting is really bland, too. Mark Wahlberg has proven that he can act. But he wanders through "Planet..." with his best "Keanu-I-don't-know-what-the-heck-is-going-on-Reeves" look on. And Stella Warren... well, she IS pretty. Helena Bonham-Carter is as boring as usual and Tim Roth has lots of fun but is well below some of his best movies.

The summing up of all of this is in one word: disappointment. Not from what it is (even at this point the movie can be seen if one has enough popcorn and soda) but from what it could had been with the talent implied. And yes, the make-up is awesome and Heston's cameo is really cool, but somehow they are not sufficient to save a picture from being just another fancy way of wasting your time and your money.

I remember seeing WarGames back in the 80s. I was 11 or 12 and had just discovered computers (ZX-81, for those in the "know"). Those little machines had me totally hooked up, mesmerized. So, when the movie came out, I rushed to the movie theater in no time.

In that moment, the film impacted me as the coolest movie ever. I mean, we have this kid, David, who is a total computer nerd and spends his time playing games (know anyone like that?), hacks into an ultra sophisticated military mainframe, almost screws it up but ends up saving the world and getting the girl (the totally doable Ally Sheedy!). What else can we ask for?

Ah, the plot thing. And the script, the acting and the technical aspects. Well, we have solid characters, supported by good acting; a credible storyline (for this kind of movie, of course; it's more credible than "The Net" or "Hackers", for instance) and good direction. No FX, no explosions, no bulls***. Filmmaking in its purest form.

Yeah, the film is outdated nowadays... but so is my old and faithful ZX-81! And my C64! And my Amiga! And my green-phosphorus monitored 640K PC clone! Any movie related to technology is doomed to be outdated some day. But what is NOT outdated is the sense of thrill and fun that permeates the film, and which differentiates a good movie from an opportunistic piece of crap.

I just returned from the movie theater. It had been over a month since the last time I had been there. Nothing had really interested me to make me couch up the ten bucks that would get me into a comfy chair in a darkened room with hundreds of strangers.

But 'Crouching Tiger...' was different, from the very beginning. Even without seeing the trailers (I usually don't; they tend to be misleading, or spoil the fun, or they just show the best scenes) I just KNEW this would be a great picture. The story struck me as typically oriental: simple in the surface, but with many layers. If you add to that the fact that I'm a very big fan of Hong Kong movies, you'll understand what draw me to the multiplex.

But, the magic of the movie is not only in the wiring, as one might say. Granted, the fight scenes are amazing, visually stunning and lirically beautiful. Nonetheless, I would say the movie strengths lie in the powerful acting and the even more compelling tale of treachery, love, fate and death that it gives the audience. Chow Yung Fat confirms why he is Hong Kong best: his acting is restrained yet strong in a very Eastwood-esque way. A very nice surprise comes from Michelle Yeoh, who shows that she can jump and manipulate swords and generally kick some ass, yet her performance is sensitive and deep. Ziyi Zhang, the third side of this triangle, is beautiful but it's the sense of innocence lost that permeates her every word that makes her even more fragile.

Technically, the film is superb. The photography is breathtaking, and Ang Lee's skillful hand lets the story develop in a slow pace that helps us get into the magical mood necessary to understand what this movie is about.

'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' might as well be 2000's best picture (after lots of scary movies, road movies and unbreakable guys), and if it is not, at least it's the best way the end the year. Don't miss it.

I've had the pleasure of viewing Rockabilly and, frankly, it is as good as it gets. While having some deficiencies because of the format that was used (digital video), the movie itself is a small masterpiece of acting, direction and, most important, writing.

During the movie we follow the misadventures of Martin, a late-teenager who falls in love with a girl who really does not care for him. We quickly get on the side of the character, skillfully played by Nicolas Mateo, a dazed & confused young man trying to figure out what to do. I don't want to give away much, but it is enough to say that, although this IS a boy-meets-girl movie, it is NOT the Hollywood type.

The script, as I said, is superb. Tight, not overlong (the movie is barely over 80 minutes) and with funny dialogues. The acting is excellent, with an array of argentinean young talent that never miss the mark. Besides Mateo (who is in 95% of the scenes and really holds the movie together), the best performances are given by Ivan Gonzalez (as Martin's not-so-nice mentor) and Laura Azcurra as the object of Martin's desire.

The bottom line: when you have a good story and good actors, you don't mind how the movie was shot. Rockabilly is a perfect example of that; but above all, it is a great movie.

Sex spoofs of serious movies are an old tradition. Be they X-rated (Foreskin Gump comes to mind) or simply erotic (David Friedman's The Erotic Adventures of Zorro) they have always been there... and they will.

The Erotic Witch Project is so similar to the original movie that it amazed me. Of course, everything has a twist. We know, just for the name of the flick, that good, funny things (read: naked chicks and sexual situations) are going to happen. And they do.

If you've seen Blair Witch you will guess the ending of the Erotic With with close-to-zero- margin of error, but it does not matter. What matter is this: three beautiful women get lesbo-crazy in front of a camera. Talk about entertainment! The performances are more than you could expect, and the girls are stunning.

Last tip: get the collector's edition VHS with the uncensored, uncut version. It is much better than the regular one, even the included in the DVD.