- Sam: My mom used to play 'Don't Close Your Eyes' all the time. She got preggers when you took her backstage at your concert in Philly. It's nice to finally meet you ... daddy.
- Danny: You goddamn right it's serious shit. Pager here is gonna rip a solo at that festival that'll make your panties roll down your legs,walk across the floor, and fold in the corner. Danny Bloom. Nice to meet you ladies. Hi. Hey ... I'm not creepy. Yeah. I proved it in court. And besides, who needs to be within 600 feet of a grade school. Am I right?
- Ant: Dude, you just fucked up. I'm gonna make it rain blood!
- Danny: We're on a spiritual quest here. Real bands don't get spiritual inspiration from fuckin' smart phones.
- Merrick: I know ants. Look, look, look. There's 22,000 species of ants on all the continents, right? But there's none on Antartica.