A Star Is Born

Normally I would accuse A Star Is Born, the 1972 porn edition, of being anti-semitic, but this feature is so lame that would come off as a compliment. Something Weird reissued this stinker on Vol. 9 of its Dragon Art Theatre series just to stick it to completists like me.

Decades later this sort of plot would be called "high concept". It is simply a very Jewish father J.B. Goldstein, played insulting by B-movie hanger-on William Kirschner, hiring movie producer Sam Cohen and talent agent Jack to "make a man" of his son, Sonny Goldstein. That translates to getting Sonny to make it with a girl.

Film is presented as one long scene, with much of it shot in the real-time manner of a one-day wonder. Opening footage (perhaps shredded) starts in the middle of a poker game where Sonny complains of getting bitten during a blow job, while the rest of the film takes place on the same meager set where first Gloria (who has an impressive rack) and later Gina visit to try and service the kid.

Running gag is that Sonny claims to be gay, and puts up resistance to going the heterosexual route. The two women perform a lesbian exhibition, make love to Sam and Jack and finally have a threesome with Sonny that includes Gina meeting the boy halfway by stimulating him via insertion of a dildo up his rectum. To steal another movie title, this should have been monickered "That's Entertainment" to make the sarcastic insult even more obvious.

Improvised and pointless, this unstimulating filler was evidently another "chaser" for porn cinemas, likely to help clear out the derelicts who otherwise might never leave the premises -it's that bad. The cast, especially Sonny and his dad, make occasional wise cracks, having the effect of MST3K, but without the laughs or insight. The pornographers who shot this one knew it was lousy and got their kicks by insulting the audience. Jack Hill let slip on one of his DVD audio commentaries that they used to call the fans "d.g.'s" - I'll let you figure out what that insult stands for.