The Man in the Iron Mask (I) (1998)
Gérard Depardieu: Porthos
Photos
Quotes
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Porthos : [he puts the rope around his neck and prepares to jump] Farewell cruel world... farewell to useless Porthos.
[jumps]
Athos : [Aramis and Athos are watching the building from the outside] What was that?
Aramis : It's all right; I sawed the beam.
[the building promptly collapses, and Athos stares at Aramis in disbelief]
Aramis : Well, I'm a genius, not an engineer!
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Aramis : Perhaps you should take his offer. We're dead anyway.
Porthos : He's right, D'Artagnan.
Phillippe : Wait. Bargain me to Louis for all your lives. You've done your best. Please let me go.
D'Artagnan : No, I cannot do it. Even if I could give up my king, I could never give up my son.
[they all look at him, thunderstruck]
Phillippe : Your son?
D'Artagnan : I loved your mother. I love her still. You are my son. I never knew you existed. And I never felt pride as a father... until this moment.
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[the Four Musketeers and Phillipe are trapped by riflemen at the other end of the hallway]
Aramis : D'Artagnan... They're young Musketeers. They've been weaned on our legends. They revere us. It is an advantage.
Porthos : Yes. Why don't we charge them?
D'Artagnan : I trained these men. They will fight to the death. But if we must die - if WE must die - let it be like this.
[He draws his sword and points it at the floor. Aramis, Porthos, and Athos, join their swords with his]
Athos : One for all. All for one.
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Aramis : Sometimes there are more important things in life than a good pair of tits.
Porthos : Really? If you can name me one thing that is more sublime than the feel of a plump, pink nipple between my lips, I'll build you a new cathedral.
Aramis : Forgiveness...
Porthos : Forgiveness...?
[Porthos farts]
Porthos : There... i am i forgiven? Come on... am i forgiven?
[play fight ensures between them]
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Porthos : [a naked Porthos has tried to hang himself but failed] Aramis! You sawed the beam! You knew I would I try to hang myself and you sawed the beam! Admit it. Admit it!
Aramis : Of course I knew! And now that you've got the idea of killing yourself out of your head you can stop boring everyone and be useful for a change. And put some clothes on!
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Porthos : I'd rather die covered in blood than an old man lying in my own piss.
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Porthos : Stop praying and revel with me, Aramis! I need my spirits lifted. I'm old, I'm weak, my strength is gone.
Aramis : Porthos! I'm praying.
Porthos : I just said you're praying. Are you deaf, too? I know you're blind, because if you'd seen the tits that just walked out of here, you'd have tears in your eyes.
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Aramis : Why are you so glum?
Porthos : I expected action. There was no fighting, there was no killing. I was useless.
Aramis : Porthos, I grow tired of this attitude. You're surrounded by beauty, by intrigue, by danger. What more can a man want? The robins are singing, the pigeons are cooing. Can't you listen to their song?
[he walks off in disgust; Porthos takes off his hat when something falls on it to reveal it's bird-dung]
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Porthos : I love Paris, I love life, and I love you, ladies.
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Porthos : Make love as if you don't care and fart whenever you wish.
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Porthos : We were all musketeers once, eh?
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Porthos : I have no appetite for food. I'm wasting away. Even women don't interest me anymore. No, say good-bye to Porthos, for he is gone.
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Porthos : [rolling in the hay] No. It's no use. My sword is bent.
Serving Woman : It will be all right. You're just taking a while to get started.
Serving Woman : I can make your sword straight.
Porthos : No, it's dead. It's dead. I'm useless. Useless.
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Porthos : We all fail at faith, Aramis, you know? That's why we must eat, drink and make love to life.