Frankenstein 2000

Until I checked here, I had no idea that Frankenstein 2000 was the work of Joe D'amato, the prolific director once again hiding behind one of his many pseudonyms; it all makes sense now, the inane script, the poor direction, the lousy acting, Laura Gemser as costume designer—all the evidence points to the King of Italian sleaze.

Sadly, this is far from prime D'amato, lacking the outrageous sex and gore that typifies his most popular flicks. The plot is both derivative and preposterous, a desperate mix of psychic and physical horror that rips off several other movies, most notably Aussie horror Patrick. D'amato's direction is at the lower end of his ability, years of working on hardcore porn having clearly dulled his artistic acuity. The film is also severely hampered by the foreign actors in his cast who fail to display any emotion in their lines and repeatedly stall while delivering them, sounding like Speak and Spell machines as a result.

Those who enjoy really crap Italian horror will undoubtedly glean some enjoyment from the sheer ineptitude of the whole thing and there is some fun to be had with the laughable gore—a few brief decapitations and a hilarious scene in which a guy has his head crushed, the eyes popping from the sockets—but hardcore D'amato fans will be severely disappointed.

Frankenstein 2000 gets a 4.5/10 from me, generously rounded up to 5 for several really dumb moments that beggar belief: a Mick Fleetwood lookalike chasing an irritating blond moppet with an axe; a fancy dress party at an Austrian nightclub adorned with swastikas; and a terrified woman, menaced by the 'monster', climbing onto a sofa for safety rather than legging it.