- Eddie Felson: You gotta have two things to win. You gotta have brains and you gotta have balls. And you got too much of one and not enough of the other.
- Moselle: What you got in there?
- Vincent Lauria: In here?
- [Opens case; smiles widely]
- Vincent Lauria: Doom.
- Moselle: Come on, boy. Let's play.
- Vincent Lauria: Yeah, let's play. We're gonna' have a lot of fun.
- Eddie Felson: Hey! I'm not your daddy, I'm not your boyfriend, so don't be playing games with me. I'm your partner.
- Eddie Felson: You're some piece of work... You're also a natural character.
- Vincent Lauria: [to Carmen] You see? I been tellin' her that. I got natural character.
- Eddie Felson: That's not what I said, kid. I said you *are* a natural character; you're an incredible flake.
- [Vincent's smile fades; Eddie continues]
- Eddie Felson: But that's a *gift*. Some guys spend half their lives trying to invent something like that. You walk into a pool room with that go-go-go, the guys'll be *killing* each other, trying to get to you. You got that... But I'll tell you something, kiddo. You couldn't find Big Time if you had a road map.
- Eddie Felson: It doesn't make any sense. It goes in streaks. The balls roll funny for everybody, kiddo.
- [last lines]
- Vincent Lauria: Hey Eddie, what are you going to do when I kick your ass?
- Eddie Felson: Pick myself up and let you kick me again.
- Vincent Lauria: Oh yeah?
- Eddie Felson: Yeah.
- [pause]
- Eddie Felson: Just don't put the money in the bank, kid. Because if I don't whip you now, I'm gonna whip you next month in Dallas.
- Carmen: You mean Houston - there's nothing coming up in Dallas.
- Eddie Felson: Houston, Dallas... And if not then, then the month after that, in New Orleans.
- Vincent Lauria: Oh yeah? What makes you so sure?
- Eddie Felson: [stares at Vincent for a second, then gets ready to break] Hey - I'm back.
- [Eddie breaks]
- Eddie Felson: Vincent, get in the car, this is embarrassing. You're acting like some girl who got felt up at the drive-in.
- Eddie Felson: [to Carmen about Vincent] We got a racehorse here, a thoroughbred. You make him feel good, I teach him how to run!
- Opening Voiceover: Nine-ball is rotation pool, the balls are pocketed in numbered order. The only ball that means anything, that wins it, is the 9. Now, the player can shoot eight trick shots in a row, blow the 9, and lose. On the other hand, the player can get the 9 in on the break, if the balls spread right, and win. Which is to say, that luck plays a part in nine-ball. But for some players, luck itself is an art.
- Carmen: You win one more game, you're gonna be humping your fist for a long time. Got that, Vincent?
- Eddie Felson: This ain't pool. This is for bangers. Straight pool is pool. This is like hand-ball, or cribbage, or something. Straight pool, you gotta be a real surgeon to get 'em, you know? It's all finesse. Now, every thing is nine-ball, 'cause it's fast, good for T.V., good for a lot of break shots... Oh, well. What the hell. Checkers sells more than chess.
- Eddie Felson: I can always go back to whiskey; it's been very good to me. I mean, you're sitting in it, and I'm wearing it.
- Vincent Lauria: [Eddie is pushing to go on the road] This is my job, Eddie.
- Eddie Felson: You think so? Hmmm. That's funny. I don't think so. I think it's your problem.
- Eddie Felson: How much did you take off Moselle? I heard a hundred...
- Vincent Lauria: One Fifty!
- Eddie Felson: [sarcastically] A hundred and fifty?
- Vincent Lauria: That's right, a hundred and fifty.
- Vincent Lauria: You walk into a shoe store with a hundred and fifty bucks, you come out with one shoe! We were working on five thousand!
- Orvis: You know who you got stakehorsin' here for you? This here's Fast Eddie Felson. Who the hell are you? The end of the world?
- Amos: [to Eddie, after hustling him] Hey, I want to ask you something, an' I want you to be real honest. Do you think I need to lose some weight?
- Vincent Lauria: [Eddie has just run the table] Pretty damn good.
- Eddie Felson: Not bad for a blind man. Rack 'em.
- Vincent Lauria: Yes sir, boss. Rack 'em up for Mr. Fast Eddie!
- Eddie Felson: I haven't played serious pool since before you were born, and right off the bat, I'm layin' 'em to waste! Watch this. Nine on the break...
- Eddie Felson: Where's the Balabushka?
- Carmen: Vincent took it.
- Eddie Felson: You said he was out.
- Carmen: He was in and out.
- Eddie Felson: He took the cue stick?
- Carmen: Yes.
- Eddie Felson: And you let him?
- Carmen: Well, so what?
- Eddie Felson: Shit.
- Carmen: Oh, man, I'm sorry.
- Eddie Felson: Jesus. Goddamn. Child care!
- Eddie Felson: You know what this is turning into?
- Vincent Lauria: What?
- Eddie Felson: A waste of my time, and a waste of my money.
- [Slams car door]
- Vincent Lauria: What? You're just gonna' leave me here?
- [Eddie drives off]
- Vincent Lauria: I don't believe this guy!
- Eddie Felson: Did you ever hear of a hustle called Two Brothers and a Stranger?
- Vincent Lauria: Yeah, uh, that's the guy in the Bible with the many colored coats, right?
- [grins widely; Eddie and Carmen look disgusted]
- Vincent Lauria: Hey, what's wrong with you guys? It's a joke, okay?
- Eddie Felson: Did I get through to you last night, kiddo? 'Cause if I didn't, I'll run it by you another way. If you'd have kicked ass in any other place but Chalkie's, Atlantic City would be dead for us. The Guys Never Leave The Street. Otherwise, it'd be all around.
- [after challenging everyone in the bar to a game, offering to spot balls, give them break, pay if he loses but not be paid if he wins, etc]
- Vincent Lauria: Cowards! Off with their heads.
- Carmen: You think Vincent's that good?
- Eddie Felson: Well, he's got the eye, he's got the stroke, he's got the flake - he's got that down cold. But can he flake on and flake off? I don't know. See, I don't know whether that can be taught. That's not clear. He's got to learn how to be himself - but on purpose.
- Vincent Lauria: Hey Grady. Up your ass with the spot. Is that OK with you?
- Grady Seasons: [laughs] That's fine by me.
- Eddie Felson: I'll play him for 500 bucks. You don't know what to say, do you? Maybe I'm hustling you, maybe I'm not. You don't know, but you should know. So, if you know that, you know when to say yes, you know when to say no. Everybody goes home in a limousine.
- Eddie Felson: [naked in bed] God, the earth moved. Didn't it move for you a little bit?
- Janelle: That was a train.
- Julian: What, you're taking that guy on the road? What's his name?
- Eddie Felson: I don't know his name and it's none of your business.
- Julian: The guy's a chump. What did he do? He beat me one night. I'll put the 9-ball up both your asses. Are you serious? Taking him on the road? When was the last time you did the road, 1960? They didn't even have cars then. What? Come on? You bangin' his girlfriend? Huh?
- Eddie Felson: You're a hard broad. What does Vincent see in you?
- Carmen: Vincent's the best. That's what he sees in me.
- Vincent Lauria: Don't worry. I'm not going to lose often.
- Eddie Felson: Oh, yes, you will. That's what I'm gonna teach you. Sometimes if you lose, you win.
- Eddie Felson: I cover all expenses: food, room, everything, entry fees, everything. For that I get 60% of everything you win. All bets. I lay the bets so I also take the losses if you lose. So, for that I get 60% of what you win.
- Carmen: 60%? What are you, a slumlord?
- Eddie Felson: Honey, you find a newcomer with a better deal than that, you come to me, we talk.
- Eddie Felson: We're just talking around things here. It ain't about pool. It ain't about sex. It ain't about love. It's about money. The *best* is the guy with the most. Ail right. It's the whole show. The best is the guy with the most in all walks of life.
- Carmen: Are you the best liquor salesman?
- Eddie Felson: You betcha!
- Vincent Lauria: But the thing is, even if it is just for bangers, everybody's doing it. If everybody's doing it, there's a lot of guys doing it. A lot of guys doing it - but only one guy can be the best.
- Vincent Lauria: Maybe you should go back to the motel.
- Carmen: Why?
- Vincent Lauria: Why? Are you kidding' me? Look around this place. There got to be two dozen rape artists here. Why?
- Carmen: Maybe you should go back to the motel.
- Vincent Lauria: Me?
- Carmen: Pretty boy like you.
- Eddie Felson: You don't flirt with me. You don't come on with me. You take a shower you shut the goddamn door.
- Carmen: Don't flatter yourself.
- Eddie Felson: Jes, don't waste my time with bullshit, Carmen. We got a *racehorse* here. A thoroughbred. You make him feel good, I teach him how to run. Do you understand? We're businesspeople.
- Eddie Felson: Color. Check the color. Dead giveaway, you know? It's thick. You can almost feel it. Lay down and just let it roll all over you. That's single maIt. On the other hand, you got something like Old McDonnell. More like Young McDonnell, actually. Tastes like 6-year-old bonded. Smell this.
- Janelle: That's good stuff.
- Vincent Lauria: Come on, one more game here.
- Julian: I'm bust!
- Vincent Lauria: So let's just play play.
- Julian: What?
- Vincent Lauria: Let's just play for play, man. No money.
- Julian: Play play?
- Janelle: If you're going to talk earth moving, you got to talk San Juan. Remember that waterbed we had? God! Sometimes I think about that week. You know, when I'm behind the bar, I think - I think I'm going to get me a waterbed. Not tell anybody. Just make it a surprise. Get some rum and pineapple juice.
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