- Sexilia: [on telephone] Hi, Paco, it's Sexi... I'm sitting here with a friend. She has some problems because her father takes an aphrodisiac every second day and rapes her.
- narrator: A Spanish biogynaecologist, Dr De la Pena,achieved the non-sexual reproduction of six identical parakeets for the first time.
- announcer at gig: Los Melancolicos can't be with you tonight due to problems with drugs, child trafficking, white slavery and a few other things. But instead, we'll have a group you all know and hate.
- Sexilia: I picked up some guys but I didn't have to pay them.
- Susana: You mean you slept with them?
- Sexilia: Of course.
- Susana: How many?
- Sexilia: Eight, ten, I wasn't counting.
- Susana: And the girls?
- Sexilia: Me. I don't invite girls to my parties. I'm enough.
- Susana: But, Sexi, that means you're a...
- Sexilia: Nymphomaniac. Always have been.
- Susana: Be careful.
- Sexilia: Why?
- Susana: I came to talk to you about sex. Let's go to bed.
- Doctor: To be honest, I've never been interested in sex. There's something obscene about the union of two bodies. That's why I've dedicated myself to artificial insemination.
- Susana: How can someone so elegant, so self-assured, with eyes like yours, with a voice like yours, talk such rubbish? You've never screwed properly. But I can show you you're wrong. Tel me.
- Doctor: Please.
- Susana: Tell me, how do you really like it? Any particular way? You can tell me. I'm a psychologist. You can trust me. I'm not narrow minded. Anything goes. I like everything.
- Cantante y director de la fotonovela: [giving directions] "Fabio, now phone and ask permission. Phone a friend... Make it short, and watch what you say... Hi, So-and-so. So-and-so calls you. She wants to talk and take you to some tacky bar to have salad for lunch. Or better yet, a tuna empanada. And then you say, "Darling, I have to hang up. A sadistic killer is literally tearing me apart.If I survive, I'll call you back and give you the details." Something like that, but always posing for the camera."
- Fabio: [while menaced by an electric drill] "Darling, I have to hang up. A sadistic killer is literally tearing me apart, and I have to wait for him to finish. Well, if I survive... I'll go out later and we can go to a tacky place to eat something greasy. Beans with sausage.All right, darling. Goodbye. "
- Azafata: Think it over before you do anything. Children don't bring happiness. We shouldn't try to fight nature. She knows best.
- Sexilia: It's all lies! You should have said you wanted to fuck. How stupid. All this talk about love. Is this love? I'm through with it.