97 reviews
Mindless entertainment
The title caught our attention in the same way as Revenge of The Space-Hitlers, it's a title that says "this could be so bad that it would be entertaining". This is what we found. Low production values, low production costs, bad acting, bad dialogue, bad special effects - we found it hilarious (unlike Boggy Creek II, which was just plain awful)
After the prologue, the opening line is "Hey wait a minute!" as in "what's this strange thing I've found on this strange alien world" - get the idea? It's a classic demonic possession plot, where a nice girl is turned nasty by an alien intelligence, and then people get 'hurt'. This means that there is plenty of blood and pain, and some cracking screaming from Geeson. If Oscars were awarded for screaming, we're of the opinion she should have got a nomination at the very least.
To exemplify the bad dialogue: Woman in peril: "I can't do it!". Man trying to save woman with motivational words: "Can't is a word I don't understand! Come on, you can't give up!"
Also "Unknown energy fields are beyond the reach of this team."
Overall I'd describe this as a poor vehicle for nasty, bloody violence and a bit of sex, which made little sense. However, there is much entertainment in it's dire naffness.
After the prologue, the opening line is "Hey wait a minute!" as in "what's this strange thing I've found on this strange alien world" - get the idea? It's a classic demonic possession plot, where a nice girl is turned nasty by an alien intelligence, and then people get 'hurt'. This means that there is plenty of blood and pain, and some cracking screaming from Geeson. If Oscars were awarded for screaming, we're of the opinion she should have got a nomination at the very least.
To exemplify the bad dialogue: Woman in peril: "I can't do it!". Man trying to save woman with motivational words: "Can't is a word I don't understand! Come on, you can't give up!"
Also "Unknown energy fields are beyond the reach of this team."
Overall I'd describe this as a poor vehicle for nasty, bloody violence and a bit of sex, which made little sense. However, there is much entertainment in it's dire naffness.
Adequate entertainment...
For a movie from 1981, then "Inseminoid" (aka "Horror Planet") was still entertaining to watch today. After having read reviews that claimed it to be a rip off of "Alien", then I was a bit reluctant to watch it. I will say, however, that while it shares some similarities with "Alien" then it wasn't a rip off.
The story is about a group of interplanar archaeologists who stumble upon a cave-dwelling alien creature. The creature impregnates one of the crew members, and slowly she started to turn into a crazed killer while the alien offspring grows inside her.
Now, the movie is driven by its story and acting talents, and barely relying on the special effects. This wasn't a special effects extravaganza, not by a long shot.
As for the acting, then I will say that people were doing good jobs all round, which was crucial for the movie.
You can't really have an alien creature movie without a proper alien being. The alien in "Inseminoid" actually looked rather interesting and was nicely made. It just wasn't shown as much throughout the entire movie as I would have liked.
All in all, "Inseminoid" is an enjoyable Sci-Fi horror movie. But given its age, it is not a movie that stands out as memorable in comparison to the Sci-Fi horror movies that come out nowadays.
The story is about a group of interplanar archaeologists who stumble upon a cave-dwelling alien creature. The creature impregnates one of the crew members, and slowly she started to turn into a crazed killer while the alien offspring grows inside her.
Now, the movie is driven by its story and acting talents, and barely relying on the special effects. This wasn't a special effects extravaganza, not by a long shot.
As for the acting, then I will say that people were doing good jobs all round, which was crucial for the movie.
You can't really have an alien creature movie without a proper alien being. The alien in "Inseminoid" actually looked rather interesting and was nicely made. It just wasn't shown as much throughout the entire movie as I would have liked.
All in all, "Inseminoid" is an enjoyable Sci-Fi horror movie. But given its age, it is not a movie that stands out as memorable in comparison to the Sci-Fi horror movies that come out nowadays.
- paul_haakonsen
- Dec 18, 2015
- Permalink
Dolly-bird goes nuts in space and wipes out all her friends ... I can dig it
- world_of_weird
- Jun 6, 2005
- Permalink
Self-topiary in space!
A friend bought me the DVD of Inseminoid knowing I like bad SF films. Boy did he hit the mark with this piece of sh!t. Thanks Mike.
Another of the countless Alien inspired ripoffs with any attempts at any Science Fiction elements soon abandoned after a few wafflings about crystals with "unknown energy fields" and the planet having twin suns. Soon the usual assorted crew members of the archaeological expedition are getting needlessly separated, doing stupid things like walking backwards down dark corridors, and generally doing everything they can to get eaten.
When the highlight of the movie is someone attempting to cut off their own foot with a hedge-trimmer (and just exactly why an exo-archaeologist is wandering around an alien cave system carrying a hedge-trimmer is never explained) you know you are in trouble.
There are many bad movie moments in this film. (Including a couple of classically bad fights with actors 'punches' missing each other by yards.)
Stephanie Beacham is the best thing in this movie and acts everyone else off the screen by doing as little as possible in the hope that no one notices her. And I got so bored staring down Judy Geeson's mouth as she screams, moans, mugs, and grimaces her way through her part that I started to count her fillings. I mean how bad does a movie have to get before you find the lead's dentistry the most interesting thing on the screen? And it never ends! It just goes on and on and on - and the music is AWFUL!!!
Please make it stop!!!!
A Serious Bad Night Out Award of the week this one.
The UK Stonevision DVD release of this film has a very amateur "Documentary" on the director as an 'extra'. It is bad, but more interesting and better than the movie.
Another of the countless Alien inspired ripoffs with any attempts at any Science Fiction elements soon abandoned after a few wafflings about crystals with "unknown energy fields" and the planet having twin suns. Soon the usual assorted crew members of the archaeological expedition are getting needlessly separated, doing stupid things like walking backwards down dark corridors, and generally doing everything they can to get eaten.
When the highlight of the movie is someone attempting to cut off their own foot with a hedge-trimmer (and just exactly why an exo-archaeologist is wandering around an alien cave system carrying a hedge-trimmer is never explained) you know you are in trouble.
There are many bad movie moments in this film. (Including a couple of classically bad fights with actors 'punches' missing each other by yards.)
Stephanie Beacham is the best thing in this movie and acts everyone else off the screen by doing as little as possible in the hope that no one notices her. And I got so bored staring down Judy Geeson's mouth as she screams, moans, mugs, and grimaces her way through her part that I started to count her fillings. I mean how bad does a movie have to get before you find the lead's dentistry the most interesting thing on the screen? And it never ends! It just goes on and on and on - and the music is AWFUL!!!
Please make it stop!!!!
A Serious Bad Night Out Award of the week this one.
The UK Stonevision DVD release of this film has a very amateur "Documentary" on the director as an 'extra'. It is bad, but more interesting and better than the movie.
- junk-monkey
- Oct 8, 2005
- Permalink
Review for the uncut version INSEMINOID.
Male and female scientists set up a research lab on a distant planet and encounter a giant, bug-eyed alien monster. It kills several people, rapes Judy Geeson and disappears, but the horrors are just beginning. Geeson becomes a hard-to-kill, hysterical madwoman with super strength who kills for blood to feed the alien's mutant offspring, which she's now carrying.
This Brit ALIEN clone is often inept and entirely contrived, but not completely without entertainment value. FX are mediocre, but it's bloody, fast-paced and there's a great electric score from John Scott. Judy Geeson is excellent in a role that requires a hell of a lot of merciless ranting and screaming.
HORROR PLANET refers to the original U.S. release of the film, which was cut. The title INSEMINOID refers to the uncut, letterboxed DVD and cable version.
Score: 3 out of 10
This Brit ALIEN clone is often inept and entirely contrived, but not completely without entertainment value. FX are mediocre, but it's bloody, fast-paced and there's a great electric score from John Scott. Judy Geeson is excellent in a role that requires a hell of a lot of merciless ranting and screaming.
HORROR PLANET refers to the original U.S. release of the film, which was cut. The title INSEMINOID refers to the uncut, letterboxed DVD and cable version.
Score: 3 out of 10
oh dear....
The script is the main culprit, with terrible lines and cliché scenes written for 4 year old to ponder upon: The number of times the cast members are sent out into the corridor (ones & twos) to be done-in by a rabid Ms Gleeson beggars belief! And each time they fall over\ stand still so as to allow themselves to be dispatched in some very poorly choreographed fight scene- did I say fight scene? I meant rolling around on the ground. I can only guess that they ran out of plot devices on day 1.
The Director should also stand up and take a bow, as a lot of the fault lies there. The subject matter may have been "maverick" but it was executed in a terrible way- B movie slasher style. He should have realised that this plot line was about as believable as politician election promise.
My sympathy goes to the cast, who were made to say the lines and roll around on the ground. They put in bad performances all round, with only Ms Gleeson showing an occasional dabble of acting skill.
If MST3K ever wanted to do a schlock SF horror, this would be the one to go for.
The Director should also stand up and take a bow, as a lot of the fault lies there. The subject matter may have been "maverick" but it was executed in a terrible way- B movie slasher style. He should have realised that this plot line was about as believable as politician election promise.
My sympathy goes to the cast, who were made to say the lines and roll around on the ground. They put in bad performances all round, with only Ms Gleeson showing an occasional dabble of acting skill.
If MST3K ever wanted to do a schlock SF horror, this would be the one to go for.
With an experienced director, this could have been a good horror film.
- Vivekmaru45
- Jan 6, 2011
- Permalink
Solid B-Movie
Shot on a rather low budget, Inseminoid aka Horror Planet is still more entertaining than many sci-fi shows and movies mass produced these days - this little production rides a little on the wave of Alien and mixes elements of horror and sci-fi adventure. For sure this is not a masterpiece, but if you are in the mood for some cheesy 80s B-movie of the sub genre of horror sci-fi, this one will provide some entertaining (and silly fun) moments indeed. This one is recommended if you dig B-movies like Lifeforce, Galaxy of Terror, Forbidden World, Planet of the Vampires, Species and Virus also comes to mind.
- Tweetienator
- Apr 15, 2023
- Permalink
A Dumb Mess
10 August 2008. One of the worst movies unfortunately. The cheap looking sci-fi horror thriller begins with a little intelligent dialogue but then descends into stupid and idiotic, mind-numbing action sequences that awfully detract from any possible enjoyment of the movie. There are glimpses of possibilities, as when the lead female figure goes through more of a transformation, conflict than a number of stereotypical monster movies, but can't deliver and continues the gore and descent into horror mayhem that just doesn't connect. A few interesting atmospherics, cloudy eerie environmental shots, but nothing close to redeeming this movie. Two out of Ten Stars.
Low budget sci-fi/horror features gore galore!!
INSEMINOID
Aspect ratio: 2.39:1 (J-D-C Scope)
Sound format: Mono
Whilst exploring a series of caves beneath the surface of Jupiter's moon Xeno, a scientific research team unleashes a long-buried alien creature which impregnates one of the female members of the crew (Judy Geeson). With the subsequent pregnancy developing at an alarming rate, Geeson is compelled to protect her unborn 'children' from scientific scrutiny and begins to massacre her colleagues, one by one...
Responding to the worldwide appetite for overblown space operas established by STAR WARS in 1977, yet remaining true to his roots as a purveyor of exploitation-horror movies (SATAN'S SLAVE, PREY, etc.), British director Norman J. Warren developed the script for INSEMINOID with writers Nick and Gloria Maley, a team of special effects technicians looking for a vehicle in which to showcase their talents. With funding from British and Hong Kong sources, the film went into production at Chislehurst caves (a grim but picturesque location just outside London) shortly after Ridley Scott's ALIEN (1979) wrapped principal photography, though Warren and producer Richard Gordon insist the movie wasn't influenced by Scott's blockbuster in any way.
Unfortunately, INSEMINOID's lofty ambitions are somewhat undermined by its modest £1 million budget, yielding a range of sets, costumes and visual effects which are more reminiscent of "Blake's 7" and "Doctor Who" than STAR WARS, and the cheapskate production values often provoke unintentional laughter. Faced with some fairly amateurish dialogue, most of the cast can't help but sink to the occasion, though Geeson is remarkably good in the leading role, transforming herself from terrified victim to monstrous avenger with scene-stealing glee (unfortunately, she later bad-mouthed the film in no uncertain terms, despite recently admitting she'd never actually seen it!). Stephanie Beacham (SCHIZO, TV's "The Colby's") plays the material with earnest conviction, while Victoria Tennant (THE WINDS OF WAR) makes no impression at all as one of the early victims of Geeson's rampage.
For all its drawbacks, however, the film is fast-moving and eager to please, and benefits enormously from John Metcalfe's expansive scope photography, which Warren uses to evoke a sense of scale at odds with the movie's financial limitations. There's plenty of gory violence on offer, too, though Warren was forced to make a few cosmetic trims to some of the most explicit sequences for censorship reasons in the UK, and it's that version which has prevailed ever since. Sadly, despite the film's modest success (including America, where a slightly truncated print played theatrically under the title HORROR PLANET), the director was unable to finance another venture for several years afterward, and his final film to date, BLOODY NEW YEAR (1987), went straight to video. His long-cherished ambition to remake FIEND WITHOUT A FACE (1957) has yet to happen, which is particularly regrettable - the genre has always needed talented mavericks like Warren, now more than ever.
Aspect ratio: 2.39:1 (J-D-C Scope)
Sound format: Mono
Whilst exploring a series of caves beneath the surface of Jupiter's moon Xeno, a scientific research team unleashes a long-buried alien creature which impregnates one of the female members of the crew (Judy Geeson). With the subsequent pregnancy developing at an alarming rate, Geeson is compelled to protect her unborn 'children' from scientific scrutiny and begins to massacre her colleagues, one by one...
Responding to the worldwide appetite for overblown space operas established by STAR WARS in 1977, yet remaining true to his roots as a purveyor of exploitation-horror movies (SATAN'S SLAVE, PREY, etc.), British director Norman J. Warren developed the script for INSEMINOID with writers Nick and Gloria Maley, a team of special effects technicians looking for a vehicle in which to showcase their talents. With funding from British and Hong Kong sources, the film went into production at Chislehurst caves (a grim but picturesque location just outside London) shortly after Ridley Scott's ALIEN (1979) wrapped principal photography, though Warren and producer Richard Gordon insist the movie wasn't influenced by Scott's blockbuster in any way.
Unfortunately, INSEMINOID's lofty ambitions are somewhat undermined by its modest £1 million budget, yielding a range of sets, costumes and visual effects which are more reminiscent of "Blake's 7" and "Doctor Who" than STAR WARS, and the cheapskate production values often provoke unintentional laughter. Faced with some fairly amateurish dialogue, most of the cast can't help but sink to the occasion, though Geeson is remarkably good in the leading role, transforming herself from terrified victim to monstrous avenger with scene-stealing glee (unfortunately, she later bad-mouthed the film in no uncertain terms, despite recently admitting she'd never actually seen it!). Stephanie Beacham (SCHIZO, TV's "The Colby's") plays the material with earnest conviction, while Victoria Tennant (THE WINDS OF WAR) makes no impression at all as one of the early victims of Geeson's rampage.
For all its drawbacks, however, the film is fast-moving and eager to please, and benefits enormously from John Metcalfe's expansive scope photography, which Warren uses to evoke a sense of scale at odds with the movie's financial limitations. There's plenty of gory violence on offer, too, though Warren was forced to make a few cosmetic trims to some of the most explicit sequences for censorship reasons in the UK, and it's that version which has prevailed ever since. Sadly, despite the film's modest success (including America, where a slightly truncated print played theatrically under the title HORROR PLANET), the director was unable to finance another venture for several years afterward, and his final film to date, BLOODY NEW YEAR (1987), went straight to video. His long-cherished ambition to remake FIEND WITHOUT A FACE (1957) has yet to happen, which is particularly regrettable - the genre has always needed talented mavericks like Warren, now more than ever.
In space no one can here you laugh
****Spoilers Ahead (if that is possible)**** Wow, talk about fond childhood memories being destroyed!! I saw this film when it first came out in 1981 as part of a drive in movie double bill with Galaxy of Terror. I was only 11 years old and had to beg and beg to get my parents to take me. I remember being scared as hell by this film and thinking it was so bloody and repulsive. I just tracked it down on DVD and watched tonight and man was I young and foolish. It was the cheapest, stupidest horror/sci-fi film ever. A lobster monster briefly appears and rapes a female crew member on some useless outer space exploration mission. It is what happened next that really killed me. The raped gal is then possessed and starts violently killing off the rest of the crew. Although this space babe seems to have super strength, never have movie victims been so ineffectual at defending themselves or using problem solving approaches. They have guns but do not shoot her. They have explosives yet fail in every attempt to use them. They can't even use blunt objects to club her. When they do get her in bad situations they just run away instead of killing her. Despite this, the biggest loser of the bunch is able to out wrestle her and strangle her with cords at the end of the movie. If she could be strangled how did she kill off the entire crew before someone gave her the smackdown??? The best thing I can say about this film is that it has moments of inspired screaming and also, it is oddly comforting to know that far into the future, we will still use plastic milk crates like I did in college for furniture and storage.
A wonderfully grim, gruesome & downright nasty British "ALIEN" rip-off
- Woodyanders
- Jul 5, 2006
- Permalink
Difficult, Unrewarding Barf-Bagger/Space Sleaze With Cult Following
I remember first encountering this film back when we were all itching for another actual ALIEN movie and disliking it intensely. And after going back again and watching it as an "adult", there is little to really be fond of about it: the film is cold, distant, cruel, sickening, barbaric, perverse, twisted, and rather dull for periods of time.
Yet HORROR PLANET has a very devoted cult following due to the presence of whacko director Norman J. Warren -- who's 1976 satanic shocker SATAN'S SLAVE is a bizarre masterpiece of trash period horror -- and the presence of cult favorites Judy Geeson [DOOMWATCH, A CANDLE FOR THE DEVIL] and the very British DD cuped aristocratic Stephanie Beacham, fondly remembered by this commentator for her appearence in DRACULA A.D. 1972. I am not overly fond of HORROR PLANET as a film, but the movie itself is a fascinating production that has a bizarre history that is almost more interesting than the story it tells. This is because HORROR PLANET is the second of the three big Space Sleaze Epics released in the immediate wake of ALIEN. The reigning king is still Bruce Clark's mesmerizingly awful GALAXY OF TERROR [1980, my favorite of the three], with the likewise Roger Corman produced FORBIDDEN WORLD [or MUTANT] by director Allan Holzman from 1982 rounding out the trio.
Of the three, HORROR PLANET is the least fun, the most gory, the most "horrifying", and the one that seems to have suffered the most from the cutting shears of various home video marketers over the years. Originally released as the more revealingly titled INSEMINOID in 1980, it was a British made production with a Dr. Who like budget, conveniently staged entirely underground or in space station sets so that no major special effects were needed beyond the gore effects.
And like FORBIDDEN WORLD and GALAXY OF TERROR especially, HORROR PLANET embraced all of the sexual aspects of the ALIEN/human interaction's possibilities, doing so with attractive B supporting actresses known for their willingness to do exploitation work to help get a film done. GALAXY OF TERROR presented the world with the timeless image of CAGED HEAT's Taffey O'Connell having a close encounter of the most unwholesome & slippery kind with a giant space maggot in a scene that is pure exploitation that will live in infamy forever that is available in it's squishy entirety on Laserdisc and on an imported UK DVD. But HORROR PLANET [which came first] gives us more of a big insectoid/slug, which impregnates Ms. Geeson with it's disgusting, human skinned but insect headed progeny, and director Warren depicted their emergence such unrelentingly graphic slop that the original cut of INSEMINOID was Rated X by the MPAA.
As such INSEMINOID could not find a distributor in the US in 1980, and was apparently banned in certain parts of Europe [including the original lobby poster design, which was deemed to be obscene], only finding a release in Japan where, as we all know, they will watch just about anything. In 1982 a significantly cut version -- now called HORROR PLANET and again, distributed by Roger Corman -- was finally granted an R rating, and it's across the board "bomb" reviews for being apalling, gross, perverted ALIEN sleaze sort of guaranteed it's cult following when the movie turned up for home video in 1983 and again in 1988 on Laserdisc as well, all of which quickly went out of print and are now collector's items. There was also a home video issuing of another version also called INSEMINOID in the mid 1990's, but was cut even further than the HORROR PLANET tapes, and it too quickly went out of print. Used examples of these videos are readily found at places like amazon.com's reseller shops, and would prove an interesting if somewhat distasteful diversion for fans of recent garbage like SPHERE, EVENT HORIZON, RESIDENT EVIL and the like.
But others should be rightfully warned, or appropriately titilated, by noting that this movie is gross, this movie is painful, this movie is difficult to watch, has little or no artistic sensibilities worth commenting on or unusual plot elements to discuss. There is a cold, distanced and documentary like method to the storytelling that leaves very little need for deconstruction -- what you see on the screen is pretty much what you get. But if watching Judy Geeson being impregnated by a giant worm, give birth to twin alien maggots and then murder & cannibalize the rest of the cast in some warped space fever/dementia is your idea of a good time, well Norman J. Warren made this mean spirited, sick little movie just for you.
Enjoy. ** [out of a possible ****]
Yet HORROR PLANET has a very devoted cult following due to the presence of whacko director Norman J. Warren -- who's 1976 satanic shocker SATAN'S SLAVE is a bizarre masterpiece of trash period horror -- and the presence of cult favorites Judy Geeson [DOOMWATCH, A CANDLE FOR THE DEVIL] and the very British DD cuped aristocratic Stephanie Beacham, fondly remembered by this commentator for her appearence in DRACULA A.D. 1972. I am not overly fond of HORROR PLANET as a film, but the movie itself is a fascinating production that has a bizarre history that is almost more interesting than the story it tells. This is because HORROR PLANET is the second of the three big Space Sleaze Epics released in the immediate wake of ALIEN. The reigning king is still Bruce Clark's mesmerizingly awful GALAXY OF TERROR [1980, my favorite of the three], with the likewise Roger Corman produced FORBIDDEN WORLD [or MUTANT] by director Allan Holzman from 1982 rounding out the trio.
Of the three, HORROR PLANET is the least fun, the most gory, the most "horrifying", and the one that seems to have suffered the most from the cutting shears of various home video marketers over the years. Originally released as the more revealingly titled INSEMINOID in 1980, it was a British made production with a Dr. Who like budget, conveniently staged entirely underground or in space station sets so that no major special effects were needed beyond the gore effects.
And like FORBIDDEN WORLD and GALAXY OF TERROR especially, HORROR PLANET embraced all of the sexual aspects of the ALIEN/human interaction's possibilities, doing so with attractive B supporting actresses known for their willingness to do exploitation work to help get a film done. GALAXY OF TERROR presented the world with the timeless image of CAGED HEAT's Taffey O'Connell having a close encounter of the most unwholesome & slippery kind with a giant space maggot in a scene that is pure exploitation that will live in infamy forever that is available in it's squishy entirety on Laserdisc and on an imported UK DVD. But HORROR PLANET [which came first] gives us more of a big insectoid/slug, which impregnates Ms. Geeson with it's disgusting, human skinned but insect headed progeny, and director Warren depicted their emergence such unrelentingly graphic slop that the original cut of INSEMINOID was Rated X by the MPAA.
As such INSEMINOID could not find a distributor in the US in 1980, and was apparently banned in certain parts of Europe [including the original lobby poster design, which was deemed to be obscene], only finding a release in Japan where, as we all know, they will watch just about anything. In 1982 a significantly cut version -- now called HORROR PLANET and again, distributed by Roger Corman -- was finally granted an R rating, and it's across the board "bomb" reviews for being apalling, gross, perverted ALIEN sleaze sort of guaranteed it's cult following when the movie turned up for home video in 1983 and again in 1988 on Laserdisc as well, all of which quickly went out of print and are now collector's items. There was also a home video issuing of another version also called INSEMINOID in the mid 1990's, but was cut even further than the HORROR PLANET tapes, and it too quickly went out of print. Used examples of these videos are readily found at places like amazon.com's reseller shops, and would prove an interesting if somewhat distasteful diversion for fans of recent garbage like SPHERE, EVENT HORIZON, RESIDENT EVIL and the like.
But others should be rightfully warned, or appropriately titilated, by noting that this movie is gross, this movie is painful, this movie is difficult to watch, has little or no artistic sensibilities worth commenting on or unusual plot elements to discuss. There is a cold, distanced and documentary like method to the storytelling that leaves very little need for deconstruction -- what you see on the screen is pretty much what you get. But if watching Judy Geeson being impregnated by a giant worm, give birth to twin alien maggots and then murder & cannibalize the rest of the cast in some warped space fever/dementia is your idea of a good time, well Norman J. Warren made this mean spirited, sick little movie just for you.
Enjoy. ** [out of a possible ****]
- Steve_Nyland
- Mar 23, 2004
- Permalink
Cheap, nasty, but heck you have no idea what your in for
well kind of!
- lost-in-limbo
- Dec 2, 2005
- Permalink
Meatballs and green pea soup
Like a previous contributor, I saw Inseminoid on BBC 1 last Saturday too - but to my eternal shame, I must admit that I actually went out of my way to see it!
Y'see, when I was a spotty teenager way back in the early 80s, I was always intrigued by this movie's premise - aliens! horror! sex! YES!! YES!! YES!! - but was too young to rent it from my local video shop. So when I saw that it was on telly I was ecstatic - twenty years of waiting, over at last!
Well, you know what they say about being careful what you wish for... As everyone's already pointed out, it's sh*te of the highest ordure - 'nuff said.
In answer to the fellow country-man who also endured it on Saturday: as a first (and last) time viewer, obviously I've no idea if it got cut. I imagine the scene that the Beeb would (naturally) be most sensitive about is the 'xeno-rape' scene.
What was shown was a slightly confusing collage of bug-eyed alien leering down at parted thighs (as if seen from the viewpoint of the inseminee), intercut with shots of a crooked leg, behind which you could see a clear plastic tube - the alien's penis? - filled with what looked like meatballs floating in green pea soup. Presumably the tube was being used to penetrate and impregnate the alien's prey.
Does that sound much like the uncut version you saw way back when? As I say, it was pretty confusing and felt like it might have been cut, but given the generally shoddy state of the direction and editing it's hard to tell what's the director's original 'vision' and what's been snipped by the censor's scissors.
Pip-pip, The Hutt
Y'see, when I was a spotty teenager way back in the early 80s, I was always intrigued by this movie's premise - aliens! horror! sex! YES!! YES!! YES!! - but was too young to rent it from my local video shop. So when I saw that it was on telly I was ecstatic - twenty years of waiting, over at last!
Well, you know what they say about being careful what you wish for... As everyone's already pointed out, it's sh*te of the highest ordure - 'nuff said.
In answer to the fellow country-man who also endured it on Saturday: as a first (and last) time viewer, obviously I've no idea if it got cut. I imagine the scene that the Beeb would (naturally) be most sensitive about is the 'xeno-rape' scene.
What was shown was a slightly confusing collage of bug-eyed alien leering down at parted thighs (as if seen from the viewpoint of the inseminee), intercut with shots of a crooked leg, behind which you could see a clear plastic tube - the alien's penis? - filled with what looked like meatballs floating in green pea soup. Presumably the tube was being used to penetrate and impregnate the alien's prey.
Does that sound much like the uncut version you saw way back when? As I say, it was pretty confusing and felt like it might have been cut, but given the generally shoddy state of the direction and editing it's hard to tell what's the director's original 'vision' and what's been snipped by the censor's scissors.
Pip-pip, The Hutt
- davethehutt2003
- Jan 14, 2004
- Permalink
On a scale from Ed Wood to Asimov, "Inseminoid" comes very close to the bottom
- JamesHitchcock
- Oct 21, 2008
- Permalink
Jordache Jeans in Space
In my never-ending quest in finding and watching as many bad movies as humanly possible has actually reached an all new level of badness: I finally saw INSEMINOID.
As bad as anything Ed Wood has done except it was released in theaters back in the early 1980s after the huge success of ALIEN. The mind boggles. What's really funny about this non-entertaining "awful" movie is that it had such a low budget that the actors actually wear Jordache jeans, probably the ones they owned! The story is supposed to take place decades in the future and yet the crew is wearing them sexy Jordache jeans. Too funny!
There's no point of writing a review for this film because it simply stinks. And not in a "It's so bad it's good way". It's just awful. I felt bad for Judy Geeson though. A good actress in a really awful role.
As bad as anything Ed Wood has done except it was released in theaters back in the early 1980s after the huge success of ALIEN. The mind boggles. What's really funny about this non-entertaining "awful" movie is that it had such a low budget that the actors actually wear Jordache jeans, probably the ones they owned! The story is supposed to take place decades in the future and yet the crew is wearing them sexy Jordache jeans. Too funny!
There's no point of writing a review for this film because it simply stinks. And not in a "It's so bad it's good way". It's just awful. I felt bad for Judy Geeson though. A good actress in a really awful role.
- Maciste_Brother
- Mar 29, 2005
- Permalink
Alien on a shoestring.
Another blatant cash-in/knock-off/rip-off of Ridley Scott's Alien, Norman J. Warren's low-budget sci-fi/horror Inseminoid is an absolutely dire viewing experience from start to finish, cheap and nasty to look at, poorly directed, and devoid of any originality, atmosphere, tension or excitement whatsoever.
Shot in and around Chislehurst Caves, which are made to look like an alien environment through the 'clever' use of coloured filters and a smoke machine, this cheap, exploitative piece of crap sees a group of interplanetary boffins (including past-their-prime Hammer babes Stephanie Beacham and Judy Geeson, and future star Victoria Tennant) discover a malevolent extraterrestrial buried in a tomb. The creature infects a member of the team, turning him into a raging maniac, before raping Geeson's character, sending her into a non-stop fit of violent hysterics for the rest of the film (I found Geeson's performance virtually unbearable; I cheered when she got strangled).
Visual effects are primitive (think 'Blakes 7' and you won't go far wrong), there is some rather basic gore which is unlikely to impress, and only Geeson gets her baps out (Stephanie's would have been better), but praise must go to the set, prop, and costume designers, without whose sterling work I wouldn't have laughed so hard: the movie's high-tech space base is constructed from plywood, vacuum formed plastic (decorated with naff futuristic stencil graphics), and assorted plastic crates; the deep space exploration team come equipped with a set of hedge trimmers (!?!?); and space-wear consists of a choice of silver or gold jumpsuit teamed with either a firefighter's mask or motorcycle helmet, and a length of vacuum cleaner hose attached to supply oxygen.
Shot in and around Chislehurst Caves, which are made to look like an alien environment through the 'clever' use of coloured filters and a smoke machine, this cheap, exploitative piece of crap sees a group of interplanetary boffins (including past-their-prime Hammer babes Stephanie Beacham and Judy Geeson, and future star Victoria Tennant) discover a malevolent extraterrestrial buried in a tomb. The creature infects a member of the team, turning him into a raging maniac, before raping Geeson's character, sending her into a non-stop fit of violent hysterics for the rest of the film (I found Geeson's performance virtually unbearable; I cheered when she got strangled).
Visual effects are primitive (think 'Blakes 7' and you won't go far wrong), there is some rather basic gore which is unlikely to impress, and only Geeson gets her baps out (Stephanie's would have been better), but praise must go to the set, prop, and costume designers, without whose sterling work I wouldn't have laughed so hard: the movie's high-tech space base is constructed from plywood, vacuum formed plastic (decorated with naff futuristic stencil graphics), and assorted plastic crates; the deep space exploration team come equipped with a set of hedge trimmers (!?!?); and space-wear consists of a choice of silver or gold jumpsuit teamed with either a firefighter's mask or motorcycle helmet, and a length of vacuum cleaner hose attached to supply oxygen.
- BA_Harrison
- Mar 2, 2011
- Permalink
It really is that bad
Now I Know Why I'd Never Heard Of It
Tonight I was left with a choice of two science fiction movies I'd never heard of . One was IMPOSTOR a big budget American movie that was very disappointing while the other was a British movie called INSEMENOID which won this weeks most reviled movie in every TV guide and for once the TV listing mags got it right since this is the worst movie I've seen all week
Someone decides to do an ALIEN clone with a vampire which might have worked as a premise but Norman J Warren has decided to cast English Rose actress Judy Geeson as a cruel and blood thirsty vampire . You can see right away where this problem lies , but to be honest the whole cast are pretty awful . Never in my whole life have I heard so many prominent middle class English accents , only the British royal family speak in these type of tones and to hear these accents in deep space is both laughable and distracting . And if we're talking awful cast pride of place must go to Robin Clark as Mark . It's interesting to spot how many times Clark looks like he's about to burst out laughing . An alien vampire is killing his colleagues and Mark is going to get an attack of the giggles at any moment and it's not nervous laughter either it's just poor acting . Obviously the director soon got fed up with Clark corpsing ( The term used when actors burst out in uncontrollable laughter ) on the set and perhaps this explains why so many camera angles don't feature Clark's face in shot
Not content with bad casting Warren has used the " talents " of former jazz musician John Scott to do the musical score - With a synthesizer ! I'm telling you the horrors on screen were nothing compared to the audio horrors I experienced , try to imagine a very bad Rick Wakeman album and you've got the idea . There's also some really poor editing where the action cuts around in a very haphazard manner which is totally annoying and does lead to some on screen goofs like a bomb landing a few yards behind a character then the explosion happening a couple of feet in front of same character . Of course compared to the screenplay the technical non achievements are very small fry but I find it hard to discuss the screenplay mainly because I don't have a clue what it's all about which puts me in the same boat as 99% of the audience and 95% of the cast and crew who worked on INSEMINOID I imagine
Someone decides to do an ALIEN clone with a vampire which might have worked as a premise but Norman J Warren has decided to cast English Rose actress Judy Geeson as a cruel and blood thirsty vampire . You can see right away where this problem lies , but to be honest the whole cast are pretty awful . Never in my whole life have I heard so many prominent middle class English accents , only the British royal family speak in these type of tones and to hear these accents in deep space is both laughable and distracting . And if we're talking awful cast pride of place must go to Robin Clark as Mark . It's interesting to spot how many times Clark looks like he's about to burst out laughing . An alien vampire is killing his colleagues and Mark is going to get an attack of the giggles at any moment and it's not nervous laughter either it's just poor acting . Obviously the director soon got fed up with Clark corpsing ( The term used when actors burst out in uncontrollable laughter ) on the set and perhaps this explains why so many camera angles don't feature Clark's face in shot
Not content with bad casting Warren has used the " talents " of former jazz musician John Scott to do the musical score - With a synthesizer ! I'm telling you the horrors on screen were nothing compared to the audio horrors I experienced , try to imagine a very bad Rick Wakeman album and you've got the idea . There's also some really poor editing where the action cuts around in a very haphazard manner which is totally annoying and does lead to some on screen goofs like a bomb landing a few yards behind a character then the explosion happening a couple of feet in front of same character . Of course compared to the screenplay the technical non achievements are very small fry but I find it hard to discuss the screenplay mainly because I don't have a clue what it's all about which puts me in the same boat as 99% of the audience and 95% of the cast and crew who worked on INSEMINOID I imagine
- Theo Robertson
- May 30, 2005
- Permalink
Dumb-violent-cheesy sci-fi horror
An expedition team investigating a planet faces terror as a woman on the team gets raped by an alien (with something that looked like a plastic pipe filled with green ooze) and starts killing her colleagues. The team will have a hard time surviving. After all it's a pregnant woman who's hunting them down!
Being an 80s sci-fi movie, there has to be a space bunker full of lights, buttons, monitors and fancy space suits. They did some fine work with the backgrounds, and no fog machines were spared. There's also explosions. Yay!
This movie is pretty dumb in many ways but hey, turn your brain down and enjoy the violence and cheese this movie has to offer. It can be entertaining.
Being an 80s sci-fi movie, there has to be a space bunker full of lights, buttons, monitors and fancy space suits. They did some fine work with the backgrounds, and no fog machines were spared. There's also explosions. Yay!
This movie is pretty dumb in many ways but hey, turn your brain down and enjoy the violence and cheese this movie has to offer. It can be entertaining.
Oh dear, oh dear
This is quite possibly THE worst film ever committed to celluloid. As mentioned in the other review, to call the actors wooden would be to give them far too much credit. Utterly bland and lifeless performances. The editor was clearly blind, as the film chops from one random scene to another. And the plot? Don't even go there, I could barely work it out at all. Special effects? I ask you? Really. Music? Chortle, chortle. Normally I'll watch rubbish films just for the novelty, but I had to turn this off, it was that bad. I still can't quite believe that all concerned actually let this get released. Utter, utter rubbish!! If you turn the channel over and see it on, then throw your telly out the window!!
Pretty good British horror film.
On a remote planet,a group of archaeologists have established a base deep inside a network of caves.While out exploring one day,one of the team,Sandy,is abducted by a monstrous alien that forcibly impregnates her.As the alien fetuses grow inside her,Sandy is driven insane by the need for blood to feed her offspring and starts slaughtering her fellow scientists."Inseminoid" is a cheaply made "Alien" clone,but I don't care.It's a pretty good horror film on its own that kept me on the edge of my seat.There is plenty of gore and a little bit of sleaze,so I wasn't disappointed.The script is weak and the acting is average,but "Inseminoid" is fast-paced,twisted and immensely enjoyable.So if you liked "Galaxy of Terror" or "Forbidden World" give this one a look.Just ignore the negative reviews and check it out.7 out of 10.
- HumanoidOfFlesh
- Dec 4, 2004
- Permalink
Be kind
Yes, it's another one of those horror films where the studio saw 'Alien' and what it did with not that much of a budget and thought 'Hey, we can squeeze a few dollars out of that idea, too!' Does it work? Short answer: yes. Longer answer: only if you know what you're in for and are very forgiving when it comes to low budget, badly-acted, cheesy, eighties horror rip-offs.
There's a space crew. They're on a planet (which may or may not have been names - I forget and it doesn't matter anyway!). One of them gets mysteriously impregnated by an alien who was most likely kicked off the set of 'Dr Who' at the time) and she goes nuts killing the rest of them.
Firstly... the good. The lighting. Um, that's about it. I read online that it was filmed inside real caves and the production team have done real wonders with the lighting effect, giving the movie a greater sense of 'realism' than most modern blockbusters with their perfectly-rendered CGI set pieces.
Then the bad. You have the acting, the script, the (not that special) special effects and the general lack of logic and realistic thinking displayed by the characters (seriously, the crew of the 'Red Dwarf' make more sensible decisions and would have a greater chance of survival than this lot).
However, despite all this film's (many!) flaws, I couldn't bring myself to totally hate it. I found it entertaining and, although it may not be the first film I'd choose to watch again in a hurry, I didn't feel like I'd wasted an hour and a half of my life when all was said and done. As I mentioned, if you're forgiving of such B-movies then there's fun to be had here.
There's a space crew. They're on a planet (which may or may not have been names - I forget and it doesn't matter anyway!). One of them gets mysteriously impregnated by an alien who was most likely kicked off the set of 'Dr Who' at the time) and she goes nuts killing the rest of them.
Firstly... the good. The lighting. Um, that's about it. I read online that it was filmed inside real caves and the production team have done real wonders with the lighting effect, giving the movie a greater sense of 'realism' than most modern blockbusters with their perfectly-rendered CGI set pieces.
Then the bad. You have the acting, the script, the (not that special) special effects and the general lack of logic and realistic thinking displayed by the characters (seriously, the crew of the 'Red Dwarf' make more sensible decisions and would have a greater chance of survival than this lot).
However, despite all this film's (many!) flaws, I couldn't bring myself to totally hate it. I found it entertaining and, although it may not be the first film I'd choose to watch again in a hurry, I didn't feel like I'd wasted an hour and a half of my life when all was said and done. As I mentioned, if you're forgiving of such B-movies then there's fun to be had here.
- bowmanblue
- May 1, 2023
- Permalink
Found it!
I have spent decades looking for the worst movie ever made, and I finally found it! I love bad movies, because most of them make me laugh. Inseminoid takes the cake. It is so bad that it is like they said "Let us make a really stupid movie, and then laugh at the reactions, especially of those who took it seriously". The woman that is supposed to be scary looking in the camera with her eyes wide open, constantly crying and screaming (showing her many amalgam fillings), running around killing stupid people and sucking their blood is just beyond hilarious. Simply everything in this movie is bad, but in a very amusing way.
- Freethinker_Atheist
- Nov 16, 2020
- Permalink