Cinderella in Combat Boots

I went to war with Dell's tech support department Monday night.

I know it's a bad sign when datavore turns off the television to watch, claiming the Customer Service Avenger was more entertaining than anything in the Tivo.


ATTENTION COMPUTER MANUFACTURERS AND TECH SUPPORT:

1) Do not be condescending because I have tits and bought retail. I've worked in support longer than I've been able to buy beer. I know more than you do.

2) Do not tell me my operating system is not supported because it is unmodified and not an OEM install. That is seventeen different flavors of bullshit, none of which tastes like chocolate.

3) Do not sell a top-of-the-line system that you do not intend to make compatible with the next operating system.

4) Do not refuse to support the OEM hardware you put in this machine. That is not what my warranty says. If the manufacturer of the card makes an XP driver for it, you damn well better do the same.

5) Do not make me demand to talk to a supervisor five times. It makes the Avenger want to reach through the phone and feed your own liver to you.

6) Do NOT tell me to go back to Windows ME. See above, Re: your liver.


Eventually, I got to a supervisor who was able to give me some suggestions that, while unsupported, at least had the possibility of giving me a functional soundcard. The Turtle Beach Santa Cruz driver for XP works just fine on the OEM version of their card.

In conclusion, tech support is a land of contrasts.