The Result

Thanks everyone for your well wishes! I'm glad I mustered up the courage to go through with it..

Before I go on about the experience, I will just come out and say I'm fine (read: Negative)!!! Relieved is the only word I can think of... Not even going to celebrate or boast, really just thankful that after all I've done over the years, I'm still given the all clear. Testament that sticking to my 3 golden rules every single time I have sex has proven effective. I remember blogging about my golden rules in detail before, it goes something like:

1. No condom = no fuck
2. Don't swallow cum / Don't get cum in your mouth (esp casual hookups)
3. Anything that's been inside the ass doesn't go into the mouth

A mantra I repeat in my head before I go out to play. Rule 3 is really just a hygiene thing... which is why I say oral sex always precedes anal sex. OK, so I'm rigid & traditional when it comes to sex.

Anyway, I urge all of you reading this, if you are sexually active, have any kind of doubts or just worried about something stupid you've done in the past that may compromise your well being, please just go get tested. It gives you peace of mind. In the event that the result is undesirable, well..... it's better to find out sooner right, so you can start seeking treatment and controlling it.... it's not like if you don't know the result, then it won't be inside your body.... In this case, ignorance is not bliss. Fact is, if it's there it's there. Getting a HIV test just sheds light on what you should do next.

Yes the whole experience is daunting and the first time is shitty as hell. But I'm glad I did it. It's worth it. You're worth it. I went to the PT Foundation in KL near PWTC. Check out their website for all the info you need, eg. testing process, appointment slots.    
http://ptfmalaysia.org/v2/hiv-sti-info/make-an-appointment/

I learned that the PT foundation does amazing things for so many groups. They are accepting of everyone and not judgmental. The test is done at their health care center on the 2nd floor. It is recommended to call in advance to make an appointment. You walk in, the receptionist greets you and hands you a number. If it's your first time, you will be called in by a counselor to a room to brief you on the process and fee. The whole package costs only RM40, they will also ask if you would like to sponsor someone else who can't afford it. After all, the PT foundation caters to many groups, some which are underprivileged and may not be able to afford the test. Support if you are able.

You will then be asked to fill in a questionnaire, which really is just a survey to see how well people understand HIV and AIDS, like how it's transmitted, etc. Great way to bust some myths because the 2nd counselor who does the HIV test will go through it with you later. Oh, I should also mention that throughout the whole thing, you can remain completely anonymous. They don't ask for name or identification.

When you get called into a private room, the 2nd counselor will explain the process and provide necessary info. They do a great job explaining the whole 3 month window period thing, and how it usually takes about 1.5 months from time of exposure for the virus to be in detectable amounts.

You can ask him any questions and he will answer them without judging. He explains how the test kit works, basically they prick your finger, get some blood and load it into the test kit's cell. After 15 minutes, there are 3 possible results. The first (very unlikely), is that the result section shows nothing (no stripes), which means the test kit is faulty and you need to repeat the test with a new kit. Very unlikely, but sometimes manufacturing defects occur. The second possibility, is that one single stripe appears on the control section. This indicates that the kit is working, and because there is only 1 single stripe, it means your result is HIV Negative. The third possibility, is you have 2 stripes appearing on the results, one is the control, and the second one appears because your blood contains the HIV virus, giving the same effect as the positive control. WOW, am I making any sense? I'm really not good at explaining this hahaha....

The counselor will do a better job. After 15 minutes, you get called back into the room to see the result. You only get to see it with your eyes, there will be no written document stating your HIV status, nor do you get to keep the test kit as evidence. After all, it's meant to be anonymous.  If you want a proper documented result, maybe you need to go elsewhere, like a hospital.

It is recommended that we get tested every 6 months, or if you're really busy, then at least once a year. I hope this post helps anyone who has thought about going for a test!

XOXO
Be brave ;)

HIV Testing OMG :O

Now this is something I've always wanted to do, but never really had the guts to follow through.... till now.

Maybe it's the stigma associated with anyone who has a need to do a test, or just a fear of what the result might be.... I mean, I've always taken necessary precautions, I don't think I have ever had sex in a compromised condition, nor have I been raped or anything.... Still......... I have had more sexual partners in the past couple of years than I can remember or keep count, so that's not really a good sign.... Heck, I don't even remember who was the second last person I had fun with... Most I don't even remember their names or how they look like.

So there's always a possibility of What If the result comes back and it's............ would I really want to know right now? It could change my world forever.

I don't really know how I feel about it. On one hand I really do enjoy sex, it's like a recreation for me... a physical activity that you can engage with another person for mutual pleasure. God it feels damn good to be one with another human. On the other hand, I'm somehow made to feel (thanks to society) that it is wrong to be a whore. Apparently it's not morally acceptable to screw with many / random people. I don't feel too bad about doing it, but then again I think if it's something I wouldn't tell my friends or family, then it probably isn't such a good thing right? This may be hard for some of you to understand or accept, I can't really explain it myself.... There are just urges that can't be controlled, and when relief feels so mind blowingly awesome, how can you resist?

I don't know what made me call to make an appointment for the testing tomorrow. It's not a clinic, I just don't feel comfortable being judged by doctors or nurses. Somewhere else. Still, the idea terrifies me. I don't like talking to other (read: non gay) people about my personal preferences. They try to understand but they will never truly get it. Mixture of so many emotions. My heart is already beating faster than usual as I type this.... But eventually it needs to get done. Time to put this goal to bed once and for all.

Will fill you guys in on the details after the test.

XOXO