Wow so I had the best dream last night, I had to write it down haha.... It's a little fuzzy but I will share what I remember.
It involves Joe. Maybe I've still been thinking about him lately, I mean seeing him every week just makes it hard to forget.... but anyway about the dream, we were in some public place, like a library or video store, there were tables and chairs... I was seated, he came up to me and said something which I don't really remember, but I think he quoted something I mentioned on this blog, or it was something that I never told him before... so the fact that he knew, I was just really surprised.... means he knows..
I was like 'Huh! How did you know?' And then he said something like 'Yes, I like you silly'. Can't remember the exact words, but basically he confessed his feelings for me, which validated what I've been feeling all along. That moment felt sooooooo real, I didn't even realize it was a dream..... probably one of the happiest moments of my life <3 p="">
Then I was looking around the shelf for a movie, and he picked out something that I like, Star Wars (LOL), it wasn't what I was looking for, but the fact that he knew I was a big Star Wars fan made me go 'Awwwwww, you know me so well' LOL.
Yeah, it's like really lame hahaha.... but the highlight was the confession bit... just something that I wanted to hear for the longest time.... and it's probably the only time I will get to hear it...
But yeah, SWEET. If only I can control my dreams, then I want to have that dream every night. It's the sweet, innocent lovey dream, nothing raunchy... :3
XOXO
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Sprinkling Salt on Wound
OK so......... I was wrong. Joe is still around. I still see him, but the feelings are dying down a little, which is a good thing.
And then this happens.
I hurt my wrist at the gym last weekend. Actually it didn't hurt until today, I suspect it's not a muscular problem, but rather I pulled the 'urat' (is it called nerve in English?) that runs between the knuckles of my thumb and index finger, and the pain extends through the wrist. Super painful whenever I move my thumb or wrist, even if it's the tiniest gesture. Can't even write properly. Damn.
To make things worst, Joe has been getting cosy with one of the guys that he chats with. They used to chat only, but would still work out separately, maybe sometimes side by side but still lifting individually. Lately, they have become workout buddies, sharing the same equipment/weights, and taking turns to lift and helping / touching each other out. Pretty sure the other guy is PLU, more so than Joe actually... at least that's what my radar tells me.
Naturally, my body is filled with jealousy. I know I'm not entitled to, considering Joe and I never actually happened... and yeah I know it's my fault for not taking any initiative and wasting countless opportunities. So maybe he has moved on. Or maybe he never liked me and I was just being deluded as always.
When I look in the mirror, I can say with confidence that I lose out to the other guy. He's not that good looking, but still very easy on the eyes with a great body and cute puppy eyes. Actually he and Joe would make a pretty couple. And I can be the ugly troll that hangs in the backdrop of their fairytale life. Mehhhhh.
Classic case of not being attractive enough, and losing out to someone who's physically better than me. Keyword being 'physically'. I'm probably better than that guy in some ways, eg. better sense of humour, probably more intellectual in terms of academic achievements, etc.. OK fine I'm only saying it to make myself feel better hahaha. Who knows? That dude could be a nuclear physicist who happens to do stand up comedy on weekends when he's not busy saving mother Earth.
Bummer.
XOXO
And then this happens.
I hurt my wrist at the gym last weekend. Actually it didn't hurt until today, I suspect it's not a muscular problem, but rather I pulled the 'urat' (is it called nerve in English?) that runs between the knuckles of my thumb and index finger, and the pain extends through the wrist. Super painful whenever I move my thumb or wrist, even if it's the tiniest gesture. Can't even write properly. Damn.
To make things worst, Joe has been getting cosy with one of the guys that he chats with. They used to chat only, but would still work out separately, maybe sometimes side by side but still lifting individually. Lately, they have become workout buddies, sharing the same equipment/weights, and taking turns to lift and helping / touching each other out. Pretty sure the other guy is PLU, more so than Joe actually... at least that's what my radar tells me.
Naturally, my body is filled with jealousy. I know I'm not entitled to, considering Joe and I never actually happened... and yeah I know it's my fault for not taking any initiative and wasting countless opportunities. So maybe he has moved on. Or maybe he never liked me and I was just being deluded as always.
When I look in the mirror, I can say with confidence that I lose out to the other guy. He's not that good looking, but still very easy on the eyes with a great body and cute puppy eyes. Actually he and Joe would make a pretty couple. And I can be the ugly troll that hangs in the backdrop of their fairytale life. Mehhhhh.
Classic case of not being attractive enough, and losing out to someone who's physically better than me. Keyword being 'physically'. I'm probably better than that guy in some ways, eg. better sense of humour, probably more intellectual in terms of academic achievements, etc.. OK fine I'm only saying it to make myself feel better hahaha. Who knows? That dude could be a nuclear physicist who happens to do stand up comedy on weekends when he's not busy saving mother Earth.
Bummer.
XOXO
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