A Walk To Remember

Well........ Joe and I met again today, in the most romantic fashion haha....

Don't worry, I'm not going down the crazy obsessive road again. It's just nice to see him, that's all.
If I'm lucky, I run into him like once a week now. And he does look happy when he sees me. And I'm pretty sure he gives me a second look every time we meet.

Today's encounter was like taken out of a romance movie. I swear I'm not exaggerating.

I arrived just a little before him. On my way out from the locker room I walked towards the cardio section. On the other end of the path, Joe appears walking towards me (locker room).

I'm telling you, it's a classic romance scene. One straight path, we stand on opposite ends.

We walked towards each other, we establish eye contact. It's like no one else is around. He was smiling, not sure if it was at me (I'm kind of sure he was staring at me), or he saw something behind me LOL.

Eventually the path gets narrower in the middle (coz of the monkey bar that gets in the way), the point where we would bump into each other.
I start to panic and my immediate reaction is to bend my head down and stare at the ground.

As we cross each other, I turned to the side while walking so that we won't hit each other. That's like the closest I have ever been to him, physically. And I realized he's quite tall, almost a head taller than me! And he's quite tanned, bet he spends a lot of time outdoors. His hair has gotten a little longer, with this slightly nerdy and flat styling. It's cute.

My heart pounds rapidly, and I get all giddy and smile like an idiot as I jog on the treadmill.

The rest of the night we were kind of doing our own things. Obviously I glanced at him a few times, but he was just focused on working out and chatting with a few people every now and then.
Stupid thing is I got jealous when I saw him talking to this other hot guy, who looks pretty gay to me LOL.

But that moment that we had today, is something I will cherish.
Joe, you may not feel the same way about me, but I will always have a spot for you in my heart.
Truly, and sincerely, I'm as real as I can be ❤ ❤ ❤

XOXO

Linger

When you see a post title like that, you know who it's about.

How long has it been? I didn't exactly keep track, but it feels like a while now, almost convinced that I've moved on.

Haven't seen Joe in a while. Timing problem I guess.
Then..... appearing today, brought back a flood of emotions.

Happy, just to see him, to feel his presence at the gym, admiring his physicality, his facial expressions. His awesomeness.
Nervous, for no real reason, I get so uneasy when I see him. It's hard to concentrate.
Sad, because it reminds me of all the time I've wasted and went nut job crazy, yet here we stand, strangers more than ever.

The funny thing is, even until today, the way he looks at me, and notices me as I walk by.... I'm almost certain there's something more....... more than just strangers in the gym.

Yet neither of us has what it takes to make the first move. We're both too afraid. Or at least that's what I think is going on between us. The risk is just too much. Our egos get in the way.

I have a confession to make. I've been promiscuous lately. Having sex with a different guy every weekend for the past month or so. The disappointment of this whole Joe thing, left me emotionally and sexually deprived. As I said, I was saving myself for Joe, but since he didn't want me.... I decided I should go get some. And that I did.... Sex has been great lately. I don't regret it. It feels damn good.

However, being sexually satisfied doesn't compensate the emotional department. Seeing Joe today, just made me yearn for him again. Someone to love. To be loved. He's still my ideal man. I'm beginning to see some of his flaws, that he's not all that great and untouchable, which makes him more on level with me in a way, and I find that to be even more attractive.

I just don't know what to do.
Fuck.

XOXO

Singaporean Luck

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