Feeling Better

After today’s court hearing, we’re feeling LOTS better.

1.  Based on the evidence presented in today’s hearing, we do not believe that BM will get Boo back.  She showed up for the hearing in shackles, wearing a standard-issue orange jumpsuit.  Her family has a long history with DHS and law enforcement.  BM is not mature enough to be able to care for a child, can’t get past her substance abuse issues, and is indifferent to a child’s needs.  This is good news for Boo.

2.  However, we won’t be getting back either.  We met J, his mother’s step-mother, and we like her.  Those of you who’ve seen me know that I’m tall.  She’s taller than me, and about our age.  She’s got a good head on her shoulders, is employed, and is a foster mom herself.  And as a bonus, she adopted Boo’s 3 year old brother.  We gave her our email address, and we will do our best to keep in touch with her about Boo.  This is a good thing, and it’s a very good place for him to be.  She’s able to give him the one thing we cannot: a biological connection.  Anyone who’s adopted a child, or has been adopted themselves, knows how much that connection means.  I can only speak by proxy on this, but Trish can tell you first-hand how important and rewarding knowing her sisters has been.  J will be a fierce protector of Boo.

It is not the resolution we wanted for ourselves, but it’s not about us.  This is about him, and about what is best for him.  We will always miss him, he will always be our Boo, but we cannot be selfish.  We were so lucky to have him, even for a short time.  We’ll always hold onto that.

Thank you, everyone for your love, support, and prayers the last few days.  We do feel better now that we have more information.  We will get past this.

Has it been 2 weeks?

Ok, I’m sorry to do this, but it’s time for another bulleted post.  Here is a small snapshot of what’s happening in our lives.

Good stuff:

• It’s been 2 weeks and one day since we first held Little Mr Boo.  Yes, we even call him “Boo” at home. 
• Sleep is getting a little better.  Not much, especially when the non-waker decides she needs to help with the 2am feeding/shouting match.  We both do it, and it’s a habit we’ve got to break!
• We had to do the “formula shuffle” this week.  LMB wasn’t taking too well to his original formula (Formula A), so we swapped it with something else (after getting the dr’s ok).  Unfortunately, WIC doesn’t cover that formula (Formula B), so we switched again to a sensitive version of the original (Formula C).  It’s actually working better than Formula B.
• We also switched bottles to Dr. Brown’s.  A bear to clean, but oh, so nice!  (Isn’t parenthood exciting?)
• LMB had a weight check on Wed.  Since last week’s appt, he’s gained a WHOLE POUND, and now weighs 8 lbs 9 oz.  He’s filling out nicely, and I think he’ll hit a growth spurt soon.  He still needs to get longer to fit into some of the 0-3 clothes we’ve got for him.
• My brother referred to LMB as his “possible future nephew” last week.
• My mother is already starting to think about what quilt to make for his first Christmas.
• He turns 2 months next week.  I think I’ll start on a monthly letter for him, one safe to publish here, and one to put into his lifebook.

Not as good stuff:

• Da Moms have been sick off and on all week.  Today is the first day that both of us have been back at work.
• Mother’s Day involved a 3 hour trip for T to the walk-in clinic, while LMB stayed with my mother.  I think Boo and my mother had the better afternoon.
• We’re about to run into a situation with daycare.  We love where he’s at, but she won’t be able to keep him over the summer.  She’s got a few school-aged kids in her daycare, and when school lets out, she has to change her capacity.  We’re working on a solution.
• LMB’s BM did not sign a release to allow us to leave the state with him.  So, we can drive 4 hours west and stay inside the state, but can’t drive 4 hours east and go across the state line.
• She also claims that she will be entering rehab (as soon as she’s out of jail, of course) and will be working towards reunification.  Our SW doesn’t believe that she’ll be able to pull it off, however.

Will try to post more later…hard to do while holding a little one!

Little Mr Boo

It’s been a week of love, let me tell you.  Little Mr Boo is so incredibly yummy, and sweet, and beautiful, and loving, and tiny.

Let’s talk about the tiny:  Right now, he weighs in at about the first percentile for his age (7 weeks), and second percentile for height.  He’s still in newborn sizes, most 0-3 clothing looks as though Paris Hilton is wearing…well, my clothes.

In the last week of having LMB, we’ve learned:

• When you have an infant, everyone wants to see him, hold him, love on him.  This applies to people you know, and people who come up to you at the store.
• When you have an infant of a different race than your own (and you’re with your same-sex partner), people will assume that you’ve adopted already.  You get extra credit for telling them you’re foster parents and LMB is “staying with us for a while.”
• Some mothers, no matter how many chances they get, cannot or will not get their act together.  Two arrests in three weeks is not a good thing.
• Our dog, Bailey, is quite protective of LMB.  She gets nervous if someone other than us holds him in her presence.  Last night, we put her outside while a friend visited with us.  Before she came back in, we placed him in his crib so that we could get ready for bed ourselves.  The dog got frantic, looking for “her baby”.  So much so that I had to pick her up and take her to his crib so that she could peer in and sniff at him to make certain he was alright.
• Those who know us, and those who’ve just met us, want us to adopt him.  SW says it’ll be a “long term placement”.
• A week ago at this time, we didn’t know LMB even existed.  Now, we can’t imagine our lives without him.