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Never the Twain

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Never the Twain
GenreSitcom
Created byJohnnie Mortimer
StarringDonald Sinden
Windsor Davies
Teddy Turner
Derek Deadman
Maria Charles
Theme music composerJack Trombey
Country of origin United Kingdom
No. of seasons11
No. of episodes67
Production
ProducersPeter Frazer-Jones
Anthony Parker
Running time30 minutes
Original release
NetworkThames Television
ITV
ReleaseSeptember 7, 1981 –
October 9, 1991

Never the Twain was a British sitcom that aired for eleven seasons from 1981 to 1991. It was created by Johnnie Mortimer, and was the only sitcom he ever created without his usual writing partner of Brian Cooke. Mortimer wrote the entirety of the first two series and four episodes out of six of the eighth, with the rest being mainly written by Vince Powell (who, among others, wrote the whole of the last three series) and John Kane.

It starred Windsor Davies and Donald Sinden, with Robin Kermode (later replaced by Christopher Morris), Julia Watson (later replaced by Tacy Kneale), Honor Blackman, Teddy Turner, Derek Deadman, Maria Charles and Zara Nutley.

It was made by Thames Television for the ITV network. Since it finished, it has been repeated a few times on satellite television: first on UK Gold and later on ITV3.

The title is taken from the Rudyard Kipling poem; The Ballad of East and West.

Plot

Oliver Smallbridge (played by Davies) and Simon Peel (played by Sinden) are antiques dealers who are also bitter enemies (after a falling-out having been business partners) and also next-door neighbours both in their homes and in their shops, and who are engaged in a continuous game of one-upmanship. So, both of them are shocked when they find out that their offsprings (Smallbridge's daughter Lyn - played by Watson and later Kneale - and Peel's son David - played by Kermode and later Morris) are in love and want to marry as soon as possible. The fathers are forced to reluctantly accept the relationship and marriage, which will take place at the end of the first series.

It is the relationship and marriage of Lyn and David and early days of their marriage alongside Oliver and Simon's further battling over the affection of middle-class widow Veronica Barton (played by Blackman) the bases over which the first three series will revolve (the first two of them being written entirely by Mortimer), alongside a (failed) attempt by Simon and Oliver to try to renew their business partnership in the third series.

After the third series Lyn and David will move to Vancouver in Canada, which will leave the daily goings on at Simon and Oliver's shops and in their private lives as the main themes of the show. Other notable characters in the series will be Simon's butler Banks (played by Turner), who came as a replacement for a foreign au-pair that Simon had requested; Ringo (played by Deadman), Oliver's idiotic assistant in his shop; and Mrs. Sadler (played by Charles), Oliver's clumsy cleaner, who had an annoying tendency to accidentally break things. Banks and Mrs. Sadler's amorous relationship will also provide humorous material in these series, with both of them marrying and leaving the show at the end of the seventh series. The fourth to seventh series were written by a group of other writers, Powell and Me and My Girl co-creator Kane being the chief ones.

In the eighth series (mostly written again by Mortimer), Lyn and David return from Canada, with their son (and Oliver's and Simon's grandson) Martin, who will prove a new way over which Simon and Oliver will develop their long-standing rivalry, over who would prove the better grandfather. However, at the end of that series, Lyn, David and Martin will move to their new flat in Friern Barnet.

Simon and Oliver's daily personal and business lives will return to being the main themes of the final three series (all written in their entirety by Powell). In these series, another character (who had already made a one-off appearance in the fourth series) would begin to appear regularly: Simon's Aunt Eleanor (played by Nutley, who had also appeared in Vince Powell's earlier sitcom Mind Your Language), who would move near Oliver and Simon.

Also appearing in some episodes of the series were Donald Sinden's sons Marc and Jeremy, and his wife Diana appeared in the very last episode of all.

Episodes

Series 1 (1981)

Series 2 (1982)

Series 3 (1983)

Series 4 (1984)

Series 5 (1986)

Series 6 (1987)

Series 7 (1988)

Series 8 (1988)

Series 9 (1989)

Christmas Special (1989)

Series 10 (1990)

Series 11 (1991)

DVD release

The complete first series was released on DVD in 2001, by Clear Vision. No other series were released. However Network still has aspirations into releasing all eleven series of the show on DVD in the future.


DVD Title Discs Year No. of Ep. DVD release
Region 2 Region 4
Complete Series 1 1 1981 6 04 Jun 2001 TBC