'Til I Die: Difference between revisions

{{about||other uses|Til I Die (disambiguation)}}

| name = {{-'}}Til I Die

| genre = [[Darkness in music|Dark pop]], [[progressiveProgressive pop]]<ref>{{cite book|last=Gaines|first=Steven|author-link=Steven Gaines|title=Heroes and Villains: The True Story of The Beach Boys|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=-qkJvajmU4EC|year=1986|publisher=Da Capo Press|location=New York|isbn=978-0-45300-519-7|page=242}}</ref>, [[dark pop]]<ref>{{cite web|url=https://musicalyst.com/genre/dark-pop |title=Dark Pop artists and listeners — Musicalyst }}</ref>

| producer = Brian Wilson, Carl Wilson (credited to theThe Beach Boys)

| title2 = {{-'}}Til I Die

| next_title = [[Surf'sStudent UpDemonstration (song)|Surf's UpTime]]

"'''{{-'}}Til I Die'''" is a song by American [[rock music|rock]] band [[the Beach Boys]] from their 1971 album ''[[Surf's Up (album)|Surf's Up]]'', subsequently issued as the B-side of the single "[[Long Promised Road]]". With autobiographical lyrics about death and hopelessness, it is one of the few songs in which both the words and music were written solely by [[Brian Wilson]]. An extended mix of the original recording, created by engineer [[Stephen Desper]], was included on the 1998 ''[[Endless Harmony Soundtrack]]''.

{{quotation|Lately, I'd been depressed and preoccupied with death…Lookingdeath...Looking out toward the ocean, my mind, as it did almost every hour of every day, worked to explain the inconsistencies that dominated my life; the pain, torment, and confusion and the beautiful music I was able to make. Was there an answer? Did I have no control? Had I ever? Feeling shipwrecked on an existential island, I lost myself in the balance of darkness that stretched beyond the breaking waves to the other side of the earth. The ocean was so incredibly vast, the universe was so large, and suddenly I saw myself in proportion to that, a little pebble of sand, a jellyfish floating on top of the water; traveling with the current I felt dwarfed, temporary. The next day I began writing "Til I Die", perhaps the most personal song I ever wrote for The Beach Boys…InBoys...In doing so, I wanted to re-create the swell of emotions that I'd felt at the beach the previous night.<ref name="wilson194">{{cite book |first=Brian |last=Wilson |title=Wouldn't It Be Nice: My own Story|url=https://archive.org/details/wouldntitbenicem00wils |url-access=registration |year=1991 |page=[https://archive.org/details/wouldntitbenicem00wils/page/194 194]|publisher=HarperCollins |isbn=9780060183134 }}</ref>}}

The song was written over the course of several weeks as Wilson tried to express the feelings he had experienced on that night he had spent alone at the beach. As he explains, "I struggled at the piano, experimenting with rhythms and chord changes, trying to emulate in sound the ocean's shifting tides and moods as well as its sheer enormity. I wanted the music to reflect the loneliness of floating a raft in the middle of the Pacific. I wanted each note to sound as if it was disappearing into the hugeness of the universe.<ref name="badman288">{{cite book |first=Keith |last=Badman |title=The Beach Boys: The Definitive Diary of America's Greatest Band on Stage and in the Studio |url=https://archive.org/details/beachboysdefinit0000badm |url-access=registration |year=2004 |page=[https://archive.org/details/beachboysdefinit0000badm/page/288 288]|publisher=Hal Leonard Corporation |isbn=9780879308186 }}</ref>

Wilson recorded a solo piano demo of the song on November 4, 1969.{{sfn|Badman|2004|p=257}} According to some sources, when he presented the song to the band, one member initially voiced criticisms.<ref name="white286">{{cite book |first=Timothy |last=White |title=The Nearest Faraway Place |year=1996 |page=286}}</ref><ref name="granata211">{{cite book |first=Charles L. |last=Granata |title=I Just Wasn't Made For These Times |year=2003 |page=211}}</ref> [[Bruce Johnston]] remembered Brian "playing it for the band and one member of the band didn't understand it and put it down, and Brian just decided not to show it to us for a few months. He just put it away. I mean, he was absolutely crushed. This other person just didn't like it."<ref name="leaf144">{{cite book |first=David |last=Leaf |title=The Beach Boys And The California Myth |url=https://archive.org/details/beachboyscalifor00leaf |url-access=registration |year=1978 |page=[https://archive.org/details/beachboyscalifor00leaf/page/144 144]|publisher=Grosset & Dunlap |isbn=9780448146256 }}</ref> Various sources state that [[Mike Love]] had called the song a "downer".<ref name="carlin172"/><ref name=mojo2009>{{cite book|editor1-last=Irvin|editor1-first=Jim|title=The Mojo Collection|date=2009|publisher=Canongate|location=Edinburgh|isbn=9781847676436|page=245|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=AVQbF9lTBwgC&pg=PA245}}</ref> Engineer [[Stephen Desper]] wrote that "the guys often thought the original lyrics to ['Til I Die] were drug derived."<ref>{{cite web |last1=Desper |first1=Stephen |title=Re: Beach Boys studio disasters and screwups? |url=http://smileysmile.net/board/index.php/topic,26134.msg641253/topicseen.html#msg641253 |website=smileysmile.net |access-date=October 24, 2020 |date=September 23, 2018}}</ref> At one stage, to address the criticism, Wilson changed the lyrics from "It kills my soul" to "It holds me up" or "It fills my soul" and "I lost my way" to "I found my way". Ultimately, the rest of the group insisted that the original lyrics be kept as the new lyrics contradicted the lyrics in the verses.<ref name="carlin172">{{cite book |first=Peter Ames |last=Carlin |title=Catch A Wave: The Rise, Fall, and Redemption of the Beach Boys' Brian Wilson |url=https://archive.org/details/catchwaverise00carl |url-access=registration |year=2006 |page=[https://archive.org/details/catchwaverise00carl/page/172 172]|publisher=Rodale |isbn=9781594863202 }}</ref> A recording of the song with these alternate lyrics still exists, and was released on the 2021 compilation [[Feel Flows (album)|Feel Flows]].<ref>{{cite magazine |last1=Chidester |first1=Brian |title=Busy Doin' Somethin': Uncovering Brian Wilson's Lost Bedroom Tapes |url=http://www.pastemagazine.com/articles/2014/03/busy-doin-somethin-uncovering-brian-wilsons-lost-b.html?a=1 |magazine=[[Paste (magazine)|Paste]] |access-date=December 11, 2014 |date=March 7, 2014 |archive-date=December 11, 2014 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20141211033306/http://www.pastemagazine.com/articles/2014/03/busy-doin-somethin-uncovering-brian-wilsons-lost-b.html?a=1 |url-status=dead }}</ref>

The song was first released on the band's album ''Surf's Up'' on August 30, 1971. On October 11, 1971, the song was released in the United States as the flip-side of the "Long Promised Road" single, which had also been released earlier that year in May with a different B-side. The single entered the ''Billboard'' charts on October 30 in the No. 93 position. It peaked three weeks later at No. 89 on the ''Billboard'' charts, where it remained for one more week until the single dropped off the charts altogether.<ref>{{sfncite book |first=Brad |last=Elliott |title=Surf's Up: The Beach Boys On Record 1961-1981 |year=2003 |ppage=421}}</ref> It was the first single by the group in 19 months to chart. However, at the time it was the lowest charting single in the group's history and it remained so for a further eighteen years.{{sfn|Badman|2004|p=[https://archive.org/details/beachboysdefinit0000badm/page/300 300]}}

Bruce Johnston praised it as the last great Brian Wilson song<ref name="leaf144"/><ref>{{cite AV media | people = Boyd, Alan (Director) | title = Endless Harmony: The Beach Boys Story | medium = Documentary | publisher = Eagle Eye Media |date = 1998}}</ref> as well as describing it as Wilson's "heaviest song."<ref name="leaf144"/> Johnston has also stated that "the words absolutely fit his mindset".<ref name="podcast"/> Wilson also felt this was the case when he stated that "the song summed up everything I had to say at the time."<ref name="badman288"/> In 2015, Love named the lyrics of {{"'}}Til I Die" his favorite of any written solely by Wilson, although he admitted, "I don't like the line 'it kills my soul' but I understand what he's saying."<ref name=Sharp1on1>{{cite web|last1=Sharp|first1=Ken|title=Mike Love of the Beach Boys: One-On-One (The Interview Part 1)|url=http://www.rockcellarmagazine.com/2015/09/09/mike-love-of-the-beach-boys-one-on-one-the-interview-part-1/2/#sthash.om8yj2AB.dpbs|publisher=[[Rock Cellar Magazine]]|date=September 9, 2015|access-date=September 10, 2015|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20180612170213/https://www.rockcellarmagazine.com/2015/09/09/mike-love-of-the-beach-boys-one-on-one-the-interview-part-1/2/#sthash.om8yj2AB.dpbs|archive-date=June 12, 2018|url-status=dead}}</ref> Biographer [[Jon Stebbins]] wrote: {{"'}}{{'}}Til I Die' proves that Brian could not only write beautiful music, but that he had the ability to communicate honestly and artfully with his lyrics as well. The track is decorated with a haunting vibraphone and organ bed, which frames the strong harmony vocal arrangement perfectly."<ref>{{cite book|last1=Stebbins|first1=Jon|author-link=Jon Stebbins|title=The Beach Boys FAQ: All That's Left to Know About America's Band|date=2011|isbn=9781458429148|page=124|publisher=Backbeat Books }}</ref>

*1996 – [[Josephine Wiggs|The Josephine Wiggs Experience]], ''Bon Bon Lifestyle''