Talk:Adrian Monk/GA1: Difference between revisions

#:A. Major aspects: {{GAList/check|???y}}

#:: {{#if:<s>I have noted many elements of his character that are not mentioned</s>|<s>I have noted many elements of his character that are not mentioned</s>|}}

#:Pass or Fail: {{GAList/check|y}}

*<s>In the first paragraph, I would include all names which he is referred to on the show in bold. It should be something like "The character (referred to on the show as '''Adrian''', '''Mr. Monk''', '''Monk''' or '''Detective Monk''') is portrayed by Tony Shalhoub" or "The character, who is referred to on the show as '''Adrian''', '''Mr. Monk''', '''Monk''' or '''Detective Monk''', is portrayed by Tony Shalhoub." I think I might put this sentence in active voice as well both because it is preferred and would eliminate having two is's in the sentence. Thus, it should actually be something like "Tony Shaloub portrays the character, who is referred to on the show as '''Adrian''', '''Mr. Monk''', '''Monk''' or '''Detective Monk'''." Later, I would describe how each of the shows characters addresses him.</s>

*<s>The punctuation is off in "The character, as well as Shaloub have". Either Shaloub is a parenthetical thought and should be set off by two commas and you have a singular verb or you have a compound subject as indicated by the verb have in which case it should be "The character and Shaloub have"</s>.{{unsign<small><span class="autosigned">—Preceding [[Wikipedia:Signatures|unsigned]] comment added by [[User:TonyTheTiger|TonyTheTiger]] ([[User talk:TonyTheTiger|talk]] • [[Special:Contributions/TonyTheTiger|contribs]]) 03:57, 28 January 2009}}</span></small><!-- Template:Unsigned -->

*<s>I think you are forcing a comma after Dr. Watson to be pointed with the citation. You may have to split the sentence to do this.</s>

*<s>I don't like starting the sentence with Because. Move Monk was described as "a very uptight human being. to the end of the sentence.</s>--[[User:TonyTheTiger|TonyTheTiger]] <small>([[User talk:TonyTheTiger|t]]/[[Special:Contributions/TonyTheTiger|c]]/[[User:TonyTheTiger/Antonio Vernon|bio]]/[[WP:CHICAGO]]/[[WP:LOTM]]) </small> 04:41, 28 January 2009 (UTC)

*<s>Why don't you add the name of the Michael Richards character.</s>

*<s>At least two ???!!! Why not just two?</s>

*In<s>You thishave sectionto youdescribe shouldhis mentionimpulses hisand therapyurges to organize and clean. YouSomething havelike "When entering a chaotic murder scene in one episode, his first impulse was to straighten the lamps." from source 3019 should help.</s>--[[User:TonyTheTiger|TonyTheTiger]] <small>([[User talk:TonyTheTiger|t]]/[[Special:Contributions/TonyTheTiger|c]]/[[User:TonyTheTiger/Antonio Vernon|bio]]/[[WP:CHICAGO]]/[[WP:LOTM]]) </small> 0605:0723, 30 January 2009 (UTC)

Since I am slow, you may want to take some time join flickr.com and request consent to change the licensing on some photos for use on WP. Only one of your two images seems to be licensed properly. <s>You are going to have to ditch the main image.</s> However if youryou write people at flickr, I bet you might be able to get consent on another image or two.--[[User:TonyTheTiger|TonyTheTiger]] <small>([[User talk:TonyTheTiger|t]]/[[Special:Contributions/TonyTheTiger|c]]/[[User:TonyTheTiger/Antonio Vernon|bio]]/[[WP:CHICAGO]]/[[WP:LOTM]]) </small> 05:46, 30 January 2009 (UTC)

*<s>We discover this year that he has a half brother. Why don't we mention the episode.</s>

*<s>You suddenly jump to present tense. Put everything int he past tense.</s>--[[User:TonyTheTiger|TonyTheTiger]] <small>([[User talk:TonyTheTiger|t]]/[[Special:Contributions/TonyTheTiger|c]]/[[User:TonyTheTiger/Antonio Vernon|bio]]/[[WP:CHICAGO]]/[[WP:LOTM]]) </small> 03:03, 1 February 2009 (UTC)

*<s>The pop matters review mentions physical comedy. This may help you talk about his use of his hands.</s>