Bad news kept coming in.

I was told that I have been here too long and I need get transferred. 

Failed HLP and now I need to get away from my comfort zone, ASAP.

Can I just mourn for a little while, please..

Redha, Reda, Redho

 As much as I tried to feel reda that I failed my HLP interview, for the 2nd time, I can't help feeling anger, envious, frustrated that someone who's already has a masters degree successfully in his interview and will probably has a double masters in the future.

People lied to get what they wanted.

Lying is no longer feel like a sin to them.

Oh well, they say it's not lying, it's just not giving all the information. 

Lying to get what you wanted is not rezeki. Please don't feel that you are blessed by Allah because you did lie in your application.

I want to fell mad. I am mad.

But I tried not to. I must not because this is Allah's plan.

He has better plan for me. I have faith in that. 

Oh heck, I have to work here for another year then.. 

counting to my 8th year gais.. haha

Will be getting more of "kau masih kat M**I ke beb"

damn..

I am a mom for 10 years

 My 1st born turns 10 today.

Happy birthday!! :)

our long awaited son.

Masa nak bersalin pun banyak drama.

So what have I achieved for 10 years as a mom?

My kids would hug me every night before they go to sleep without failed.

Both of them fight to talk to me or trying to get my attention (aww, I feel like a celebrity every time this happens)

I feel loved by them.

And I love them endlessly.

I feel enough.

But I don't think I have done enough.

There are moms out there who cook everyday, spend so much time with them, teach them Quran every morning, I feel like a loser every..... single..... time I read their achievements, while I.. 

I feel tired all the time & just wanna sleep all day on weekends.

I hope there are moms out there who feel the same.

...

Gotta get ma buns moving..

My kids are what I fed them, what I taught them...

They ate jajans with me just now.

👀

Random post. 

 It has been sooooo long ago since my last post. 

 here's what happened for the past 4 years. 

 - my 2nd child will be 3 this year. And planning on my 3rd one. haha 

 - on my 3rd year at my 3rd ministry. got promoted and transferred to a new place. 

going through resumes for a paper I have to work-out. came across a name and hey, I used to read her research during my degree for my thesis paper, quoting her name a few times. here I am, 11 years later, processing this list of names, candidates for a top management post in one of the agencies.

who would've thought..

p/s: I miss doing lab work

So, pants huh?

I was cleaning-up our office’s junk (lots of file from the time this department was built 70 years ago) when Wan texted me about the “pants” circular is being uploaded and I only managed to read it during lunch hour.

Everyone (well not everyone, those women working with the government) was so excited reading the 4-page circular (yes, only 4 pages. And I was told, the original circular was 21 pages). Some even put up their excitements on the social networks and some MITIans and those from W!sma Putra smirked at these by saying back “we have been wearing pants since the creation of mankind”.

I was a little bit excited too.... until I went back home that day and did the laundry.

I was staring at my baju kurungs in the wardrobe. Everything on the hanger section is baju kurung. (read: a lot)

“you are going to ditch us and start wearing pants to work, aren’t you lady?”

*

*

*

“no, I love you guys. Especially you dear because people keep on saying I look slim when I put you on. Baju kurungs and skirts are the best. And when I need to go to the loo, it’s easier. If you know what I meant”

Honestly, I love wearing baju kurung. It does not make me feel "kampung"ish or not-up-to-date as some of us may feel.

So, I made my decision and swore my loyalty to baju kurungs / kebaya / skirts but I may wear pants suits on certain occasions.

I hope those wearing pants to work will not "abuse" it by wearing a short blazer with a pair of too-tight-until-people-can-know-the-size-of -your-undies pants.

It's been a while.

I was tired, frustrated and demotivated (of work).

A batchmate passed away 2 days ago. He was 35 years old.
Death is so near to us.

Kamil is 8 1/2 months now. He decided to skip the crawling part and straight to standing. He still has no teeth and he eats a lot.

This picture was taken when he was 6 1/2 months

Kamil is a playful little lad. "Abbah, Mamma" keeps coming out of his mouth, so we (well "I" actually) decided that my kid(s) will be calling me Mama instead of Ibu. hehe

We moved-in to our very own crib 2 weeks ago. Alhamdulillah. Done with unpacking but not done with arranging the stuff. Spent so much on the renovation, we (well I) have nothing more on the furniture and decoration. We have mom's old curtain and her 30+year old tailored made dining table. antique I tell you :)
Has to start saving again.
*cheapskate mode on*

I don't know how I managed to get my pre-wedding weight. *clap hands* Now I am very cautious with my food intake. Don't wanna get fat anymore -_-

It's Friday and happy weekend everyone.

Say your love to your loved ones before it's too late.

*hugs*

Day 1

It didn't stop there.

Hello 3 piles more..

The day I regretted having a long signature.

25th for the 5th time

This came just now, at the hospital :)
Thank you dear husband. But I still want pizza and the new kfc. hehe

The ninth day

Here I am typing this entry on the hospital bed, warded on the 9th day, a few hours before my 29th birthday. Yes, I'll be celebrating my birthday in the hospital. woohoo.

The month of April is definitely not our favourite month for the year 2013.

All 3 of us got sick and now I am now admitted at the hospital.

It started with Kamil having a sore eye on the 1st of April. Brought him to @nnur's paed. He was given antibiotic and a few other more medicines.

Kamil was still sick on the 4th day, with very high fever so we brought him to A&E for Paed at PPUM. Yes, our favourite hospital so far. The doctor did thorough blood test and xray. Kamil was diagnosed with mild viral pneumonia. I showed the doctor those medicines given by the paed and she said the antibiotic was unnecessary because Kamil has viral fever whereas the antibiotic is for bacterial fever. I was kind of disappointed because I have fed Kamil with unnecessary med.

The next 3 days were awful because husband and I fall sick at the same time. So the whole family was sick. Kamil refused to take oral PCM. I had to give supp PCM instead. My poor baby. We went to the govt clinic on Monday wearing shades and all 3 of us were asked to do blood test. We had conjunctivitis. The first time for both of us.

On Wednesday, no improvement on Kamil's eye so we brought him to KPJ Kajang to see the ophthalmologist. Kamil's left eyes has corneal abrasion and the right one was infected. Luckily the abrasion was small and 2 drops of lubricant every 2 hours healed him.

Then on Friday, I had another illness. I went to see a private GP but after 2 days, the pain never subsided. I immediately went to see the private specialist and it was decided I needed to be operated straight away. GL cleared and I was in the OT on GA. I woke up 1 1/2 hours later, still feeling sleepy.

The next 6 days were torturous. Cleaning the wound was extremely painful, I came back crying everytime it was done twice a day *sobs*

Alhamdulillah, I am so much better now. The wound is healing, less painful and I am enjoying my stay in the hospital except for the food. I said to husband that the new KFC chicken or the new pizza hut will heal me faster, but he didn't believe me. The doctor said I can go out in a few days and maybe another week of MC after that.

I am blessed with good family and friends who came to visit and wishing for my speedy recovery. Love you all :)

I can not wait to go to work (NOT!!)

evil airfryer

Such an evil airfryer.
especially when you were alone on weekend night (husband went for his weekly badminton game and will only get back around 3am), you got hungry, couldn't sleep because you got excited playing Candy Crush's level 95 but you have no more live to go on, you saw the airfryer and there were some frozen drummets in the freezer. Bam, you put some in the pan, switched on the airfryer, set it for 20minutes and started folding up the laundry while waiting it to cook. yummy drummets and no oil are needed to cook it.

Call me weird but if husband presented me a rm1K designer bag instead of that supercool airfryer I've been talking about for the past 4 months, I'll be dead furious.

First, that bag value more than the money I have in my purse. I definitely don't need a very costly handbag which I will keep in a dustbag and put it nicely in the cupboard because it's just too expensive for everyday wear (and I don't go out that often to use it).

Second, he's not listening / paying attention to the words/hints I've given about how lovely to have an airfryer in my kitchen.

However, we arrived home from Selayang just now. Husband went down again to bring more stuff from the car while I was busy taking care of Kamil, I didn't notice what he brought in.

About an hour later, I saw the airfryer box on the kitchen's table top. Eh, kotak je ke, ade isi ni? I wasted no time and opened the box.

Eyes gleaming with tears, "abang, you shouldn't have!!!" Jumping joy.

So abang, this means you can have crispy ayam goreng everyday for the rest of your life. ngeeee

The working mom

Kamil with wet cloth surrounded his head to ease down the temperature

This little angel has been sick since Saturday and Ibu was on leave for 4 days already.


It started with runny nose and cough last 2 Mondays ago. Kamil is just too cute, relatives kept on kissing and hugging him during the 2 events before his illness started. Some people are insensitive about this. Babies are super fragile human being. Their immune systems are not fully developed. I was thought not to be too "friendly" with babies for this kind of reason. No offense but I don't go kissing someone else's babies even how cute they are because I fear that they will get infected with whatever germs and bacterias that I had on me.

His body temperature increased on Sunday and we brought him to PPUM's Emergency for Paed on our way home to Putrajaya that night. (I'm loving it here, the service is super fast and freeee. Thist was our third time here).

Doctor advised to seek treatment again if he has fever on the fifth day. he prescribed paracetamol and augmentin antibiotic which I think is rather strong for such a young baby, so I didn't give any. We went to the clinic yesterday when his body temperature went as high 39 degrees celcius in the middle of the night and refused to drink (direct feed or bottle feed).

Clinic did blood test and alhamdulillah, nothing serious. The white blood cell count was a bit high, meaning that there's an infection. Doctor prescribed a less stronger antibiotic (which I will only give to Kamil if he still has fever). Alhamdulillah, it has been 36hours since the last time I gave him paracetamol and his health is improving and so does his appetite (he still refuses to direct feed, ibu feels sad :( .

I took 4 1/2 months leave after giving birth, went to work later for 5 days and I was on leave again for 4 days. Work is crazy. In a way, I'm glad I am not at the office but I feel guilty for my colleague who has to share some of my work when I am not there. So this is like to be a working mother. You are torn between going to work or taking care of your child at home.

Many have warned me, my annual leaves are usually used for emergency leave when my kid gets sick. I pray that Kamil and I will be in good health always so that I can work religiously for what I have been paid for. Ameenn.

picture taken yesterday.