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As the leader of the free world, President Donald J. Trump is a role model for all Americans. From his trademark hairstyle to his flawlessly orange complexion, everyone wants to look like him. But how can you do it?
The Babylon Bee is here to provide the following list of tips to get that Trump orange hue just right:
Just stick your head in the oven each day for a few minutes under the broiler: Be careful not to overcook.
Add just one radioactive carrot to your daily diet: With just a few carrots and some plutonium, you too can achieve glory.
Get bitten by a radioactive Trump: You may also exhibit other strange powers like growing enormous hands and attracting supermodels.
Become severely jaundiced from liver disease before getting sunburned: The yellow and red will mix for the perfect orange.
Find the Black Pearl and ask Captain Jack Sparrow to take you to the Fountain of Youth: The secret is out.
Become a real estate mogul, cameo in The Little Rascals and Home Alone 2, launch a popular reality TV show, switch to the Republican Party, run for president, win, then lose, then get shot, then win again: It's a very simple, straightforward plan.
You can't, so don't even try. You're just a mere mortal and setting yourself up for disappointment: There can be only one.
Many have tried, but few have succeeded. Follow the list of tips above to give it your best shot. Have other ideas? Post them in the comments below.
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A journalist spills all after being mistakenly added to a group chat with top Trump officials.
