Thursday, March 29, 2007
The Moral of the Video
I don't think I will ever create another hamster video for public viewing again. It hurts too damn much.
Last night I found out someone had stolen my video and put it up without permission on break.com. If that is not bad enough, he/she has allowed all manner of comments to be posted, including vulgar, racist and plain offensive comments.
I died inside as I read some of the comments. But immediately flared back to life when I saw someone label the creator as "being Asian".
WTF HAS THAT TO DO WITH A HAMSTER YOU LOW-LIFE, PIECE OF WHITE TRASH!!!!
I am now in discussion with break.com authorities to remove the video. They have listed a set of requirements I need to follow and fulfill in order to prove my ownership. It is incredibly ridiculous to have to be made to go through all this just because I wanted to put up a video and spread some smiles to my faithful Flickr friends.
It is crazy that on top of my views on Youtube (Views : 100,084, Comments: 122 and Faves : 438 at last count), Mocha's video at break.com (Views: 337,282 and Comments: 727 - of which more than half are offensive comments) brings the grand total of views to over 437,000. My original intention to spread a few smiles around has gone completely berserk.
I have not recovered from my headaches, I have not recovered from the traffic resulting from the feature on CO, and I have assignments to research. I go back to my favourite saying at times like these:
"It never rains but pours with idiots."
If I suddenly go missing from the online world, I hope those of you with brains will know why.
- 29 March 2007 3:58pm -
Last night I found out someone had stolen my video and put it up without permission on break.com. If that is not bad enough, he/she has allowed all manner of comments to be posted, including vulgar, racist and plain offensive comments.
I died inside as I read some of the comments. But immediately flared back to life when I saw someone label the creator as "being Asian".
WTF HAS THAT TO DO WITH A HAMSTER YOU LOW-LIFE, PIECE OF WHITE TRASH!!!!
I am now in discussion with break.com authorities to remove the video. They have listed a set of requirements I need to follow and fulfill in order to prove my ownership. It is incredibly ridiculous to have to be made to go through all this just because I wanted to put up a video and spread some smiles to my faithful Flickr friends.
It is crazy that on top of my views on Youtube (Views : 100,084, Comments: 122 and Faves : 438 at last count), Mocha's video at break.com (Views: 337,282 and Comments: 727 - of which more than half are offensive comments) brings the grand total of views to over 437,000. My original intention to spread a few smiles around has gone completely berserk.
I have not recovered from my headaches, I have not recovered from the traffic resulting from the feature on CO, and I have assignments to research. I go back to my favourite saying at times like these:
"It never rains but pours with idiots."
If I suddenly go missing from the online world, I hope those of you with brains will know why.
- 29 March 2007 3:58pm -
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Mocha Overload
Hellos my dear bloggy, your owner can finally SEE you!
Hahaha, don't ask me how it happened I just closed my browser (couldn't view it the whole time) and walked off to find the raisin bread my dad bought from some posh Filipino diner when he was there. Then I walked back and opened my browser (my blog is my homepage - all my vital links are there), SURPRISE! Hahaha!
...
Mocha made it to cuteoverload.com on Monday. Overnight, the video of him and his first broccoli floret shot up to 45,000 views and it is still going (last count 74,763 views and 302 faves).
He has superceded even his own aunt, Duchie.
Everything is flooded again - gmail, Flickrmail, youtube, comments on Flickr. I don't think I will ever be able to reply everything/everyone, and maybe I will eventually give up trying.
Apart from his feature in CO, a number of other smaller sites have featured him. I am ok with this, but some of them did not credit me at all. Thankfully I had the sense to edit the video before posting - I have a phobia of people passing my stuff off as their own.
Ah well.
Photos for you and then it is back to my research.
- 28 March 2007 1:20pm -
Hahaha, don't ask me how it happened I just closed my browser (couldn't view it the whole time) and walked off to find the raisin bread my dad bought from some posh Filipino diner when he was there. Then I walked back and opened my browser (my blog is my homepage - all my vital links are there), SURPRISE! Hahaha!
...
Mocha made it to cuteoverload.com on Monday. Overnight, the video of him and his first broccoli floret shot up to 45,000 views and it is still going (last count 74,763 views and 302 faves).
He has superceded even his own aunt, Duchie.
Everything is flooded again - gmail, Flickrmail, youtube, comments on Flickr. I don't think I will ever be able to reply everything/everyone, and maybe I will eventually give up trying.
Apart from his feature in CO, a number of other smaller sites have featured him. I am ok with this, but some of them did not credit me at all. Thankfully I had the sense to edit the video before posting - I have a phobia of people passing my stuff off as their own.
Ah well.
Photos for you and then it is back to my research.
- 28 March 2007 1:20pm -
Monday, March 26, 2007
Born to Love
I still cannot see my blog, though I know some of you can, and some of you can't too. Oh well, I'll just continue to blog - like I will do even if no one will visit/or can see it anymore. I just enjoy having a record of my thoughts.
...
The situation in Flickr is slightly better, I don't feel so stalked anymore. And at least I have stopped wincing at the amount of Flickrmail.
Mocha made it to explore again, just showing by off his cheeky personality:
I had to move Mocha out of the family cage over the weekend and it wasn't something I wanted, or planned to do so soon.
For some reason, Mocha had begun to get extremely annoyed by his mother who kept trying to groom him. He starting running from her each time she came close and when she grabbed him, he started to shriek quite madly. Mirugai has always been a flighty ham and I think she got shocked into aggression. I think she tried to nip at him and they almost started fighting.
I observed this for a day and decided that moving Mocha would be the best option. Mirugai used to be quite an aggressive hamster until I found out she could get along with Mochi. I was worried that if I isolated Mirugai, it would cause her to revert to her semi-aggressive self.
So now that Mocha can take care of himself, I gave him his own tank. It kinda pains me to see him curled up in there all by himself! He looks SO tiny :(
Meanwhile, his grandmother Tori is getting ever chubbier.. I am not surprised if she is nearing 100 grams. (Dwarves usually weigh 60grams..)
...
I attended HS's wedding last Saturday, at my former church. Although I enjoyed seeing my church friends again, I didn't really feel comfortable the entire time. I suppose being back in the building I grew up and loved for most part of my life brought back too many unwelcome memories. Memories of my childhood, of familiar, yet unfriendly people.
It has been more than a year since I switched churches, and I am rather displeased with myself for feeling so affected by going back there, especially that its for a friend's wedding. I should have been happier about the whole thing, but I would have been lying.
I think my irritation at all those experiences I had there unfairly tainted what should have been a pleasant, enjoyable afternoon. I suppose I can only be thankful that HS was so busy that she didn't notice anything amiss (we only managed to mingle awhile with her).
Photos, nevertheless.
Taken by a professional photographer.
I can't believe he actually allowed R's face to be shadowed in the photo. So much for being a "PRO".
This was so much better.
The blushing bride :)
Serene brought Colin and Cedric along :) It is amazing how fast babies grow up :) Cedric is 1 year old today :)
Happy birthday!
I have not seen SM in about four years. Was good to see him again :)
...
I cooked yesterday :)
Lunch:
Dinner:
...
Sigh I have so much to do today. I woke up at 6am and have been busy all morning.
I had to deliberately force myself to sit here and blog. Now that it's done, I need to get back to my assignment research.
So I'll see ya :)
- 26 March 2007 2:2pm -
...
The situation in Flickr is slightly better, I don't feel so stalked anymore. And at least I have stopped wincing at the amount of Flickrmail.
Mocha made it to explore again, just showing by off his cheeky personality:
I had to move Mocha out of the family cage over the weekend and it wasn't something I wanted, or planned to do so soon.
For some reason, Mocha had begun to get extremely annoyed by his mother who kept trying to groom him. He starting running from her each time she came close and when she grabbed him, he started to shriek quite madly. Mirugai has always been a flighty ham and I think she got shocked into aggression. I think she tried to nip at him and they almost started fighting.
I observed this for a day and decided that moving Mocha would be the best option. Mirugai used to be quite an aggressive hamster until I found out she could get along with Mochi. I was worried that if I isolated Mirugai, it would cause her to revert to her semi-aggressive self.
So now that Mocha can take care of himself, I gave him his own tank. It kinda pains me to see him curled up in there all by himself! He looks SO tiny :(
Meanwhile, his grandmother Tori is getting ever chubbier.. I am not surprised if she is nearing 100 grams. (Dwarves usually weigh 60grams..)
...
I attended HS's wedding last Saturday, at my former church. Although I enjoyed seeing my church friends again, I didn't really feel comfortable the entire time. I suppose being back in the building I grew up and loved for most part of my life brought back too many unwelcome memories. Memories of my childhood, of familiar, yet unfriendly people.
It has been more than a year since I switched churches, and I am rather displeased with myself for feeling so affected by going back there, especially that its for a friend's wedding. I should have been happier about the whole thing, but I would have been lying.
I think my irritation at all those experiences I had there unfairly tainted what should have been a pleasant, enjoyable afternoon. I suppose I can only be thankful that HS was so busy that she didn't notice anything amiss (we only managed to mingle awhile with her).
Photos, nevertheless.
Taken by a professional photographer.
I can't believe he actually allowed R's face to be shadowed in the photo. So much for being a "PRO".
This was so much better.
The blushing bride :)
Serene brought Colin and Cedric along :) It is amazing how fast babies grow up :) Cedric is 1 year old today :)
Happy birthday!
I have not seen SM in about four years. Was good to see him again :)
...
I cooked yesterday :)
Lunch:
Dinner:
...
Sigh I have so much to do today. I woke up at 6am and have been busy all morning.
I had to deliberately force myself to sit here and blog. Now that it's done, I need to get back to my assignment research.
So I'll see ya :)
- 26 March 2007 2:2pm -
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Footsteps
Something is weird with my browsers (Internet Explorer, Firefox and Flock). I can't view my blog at all.
...
Mocha may be only two weeks old, but he's made it to Explore a total of 5 times. As a result, my Flickr inbox has been flooded beyond recognition. I just can't finish replying to all the comments and mails.
So in order to prevent myself from getting frustrated over idiots again, I've only replied to the more polite people. Orders like "hey send me a hamster" hit the trashcan as soon as I can click.
Not only on Flickr are there idiots, I must add. There are a few such people in Youtube as well, who have been posting vulgarities in replies to my videos of Mocha.
I wonder what is wrong with these people????
Anyway, here's Mocha :)
...
Today whilst talking to Junk, I realised how difficult it is to let go of a friend. We were talking about a mutual friend who has decided, well.. let's just say she has decided her own needs are more important than having friends like me.
Although in my mind I have let her go, I guess there are some things that really hurt because the wound was so deep.
Junk was telling me she had gone on a blog-reading spree and deduced for herself the rest of the story.
Well, that goes to show doesn't it? Why do something regrettable that can be traced back to you? Why ruin your life? Why even put it on the internet? Hahahaha!
Ah, anyway I'm too busy to really act on anything with regards to this. I was just feeling amused :)
I'm just glad my life is the way it is - it is not perfect, but at least I know I won't be ashamed to look back.
...
I'm really tired, especially after another phone call from the Aunt. So I think I shall just post more photos :)
Me and my darling niece :) (She is sitting on JL by the way..)
She was playing with me at her favourite chair :)
- 21 March 2007 2:03am -
...
Mocha may be only two weeks old, but he's made it to Explore a total of 5 times. As a result, my Flickr inbox has been flooded beyond recognition. I just can't finish replying to all the comments and mails.
So in order to prevent myself from getting frustrated over idiots again, I've only replied to the more polite people. Orders like "hey send me a hamster" hit the trashcan as soon as I can click.
Not only on Flickr are there idiots, I must add. There are a few such people in Youtube as well, who have been posting vulgarities in replies to my videos of Mocha.
I wonder what is wrong with these people????
Anyway, here's Mocha :)
...
Today whilst talking to Junk, I realised how difficult it is to let go of a friend. We were talking about a mutual friend who has decided, well.. let's just say she has decided her own needs are more important than having friends like me.
Although in my mind I have let her go, I guess there are some things that really hurt because the wound was so deep.
Junk was telling me she had gone on a blog-reading spree and deduced for herself the rest of the story.
Well, that goes to show doesn't it? Why do something regrettable that can be traced back to you? Why ruin your life? Why even put it on the internet? Hahahaha!
Ah, anyway I'm too busy to really act on anything with regards to this. I was just feeling amused :)
I'm just glad my life is the way it is - it is not perfect, but at least I know I won't be ashamed to look back.
...
I'm really tired, especially after another phone call from the Aunt. So I think I shall just post more photos :)
Me and my darling niece :) (She is sitting on JL by the way..)
She was playing with me at her favourite chair :)
- 21 March 2007 2:03am -
Friday, March 16, 2007
Summa Theologica
Will someone translate St Thomas Auinas' Summa Theologica for me?!
I have been trying to make sense of the English version of the book but it could have well been in Greek! Zzz.
My headache is back. The pain is back. I've not been sleeping well. I've been having nightmares. Where did my summer vacation go? I feel like I need another right now.
...
My aunt is .. well, my aunt. She was nagging at me over the phone last week because she wants me to take her son to Bangkok on a holiday. And I was super reluctant, so she went up a few decibels.
Ah, there's no way - really no way I'll be able to go even if I wanted to. She called this evening as I was picking up Summa Theologica, Treatise of Prudence and Justice and reading the part where he talked about INJUSTICE (chapter 59). ROFL.
So coincidental. Anyway she wanted me to "be on standby in case" she can't manage to apply for leave.
I was like..... on the verge of (no not exploding, it felt more like) imploding. From the headache, from the additional pain she was subjecting me to with all her yelling.
...
After her stupid phonecall I went to upload Mocha's photos to Flickr.
I honestly couldn't focus on Mr Thomas anymore after being jarred out of my studying mood and I was also wondering to myself why I even bothered to upload more Mocha photos when they are causing so many people to send me weird mails.
I mean, I received one today that said:
"hesedetang, what you are doing is evil and cruel. just because you can you think your hamster does not have feelings. would you like someone to poke a camera in your face everyday when you are trying to sleep because that is what you are doing."
............ I just COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO REPLY!! I just went to block the idiot straight away.
-.-" Honestly, some people are REALLY too free in Flickr. Get a LIFE. Rawr.
- 16 March 2007 3:30am -
I have been trying to make sense of the English version of the book but it could have well been in Greek! Zzz.
My headache is back. The pain is back. I've not been sleeping well. I've been having nightmares. Where did my summer vacation go? I feel like I need another right now.
...
My aunt is .. well, my aunt. She was nagging at me over the phone last week because she wants me to take her son to Bangkok on a holiday. And I was super reluctant, so she went up a few decibels.
Ah, there's no way - really no way I'll be able to go even if I wanted to. She called this evening as I was picking up Summa Theologica, Treatise of Prudence and Justice and reading the part where he talked about INJUSTICE (chapter 59). ROFL.
So coincidental. Anyway she wanted me to "be on standby in case" she can't manage to apply for leave.
I was like..... on the verge of (no not exploding, it felt more like) imploding. From the headache, from the additional pain she was subjecting me to with all her yelling.
...
After her stupid phonecall I went to upload Mocha's photos to Flickr.
I honestly couldn't focus on Mr Thomas anymore after being jarred out of my studying mood and I was also wondering to myself why I even bothered to upload more Mocha photos when they are causing so many people to send me weird mails.
I mean, I received one today that said:
"hesedetang, what you are doing is evil and cruel. just because you can you think your hamster does not have feelings. would you like someone to poke a camera in your face everyday when you are trying to sleep because that is what you are doing."
............ I just COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO REPLY!! I just went to block the idiot straight away.
-.-" Honestly, some people are REALLY too free in Flickr. Get a LIFE. Rawr.
- 16 March 2007 3:30am -
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Five in the Black
I forgot to say quite a number of things the last time I blogged. But thinking through now, perhaps its better I didn't blog them after all.
Mainly just rants about my aunt and my dad's gf.
...
Headache has simmered down today at last. After a full week and one day. I got caught in the rain though, and have been sneezing some the past night.
...
I have lots of photos from lots of places now waiting to be uploaded onto Flickr - but right now I've decided to just let Mocha steal my show :) He's only gonna be this size once hey :P
And I seriously don't have time to linger much in Flickr - nor do I really feel like I want to, with all the weirdoes hanging around. These days I just upload two or four (I have a thing about evenly numbered batches), post a few comments on my contacts' photos just to show them I'm still alive - and then just leave it til the next day.
It's good and I need to focus on uni...
...
Which I have been doing, even with this pain in the brain. Surprising?
Hmm. I am - Me who usually never settles down until week 5 :s Sigh. I just finished writing a short assignment and I was feeling bloggy.
...
Dad's friends from the UK were in town again - this time it is James and Rona Dunn. He has SO many friends (even from UK alone) that I have problems remembering them all (and their respective spouses).
(Usually I can remember the ones we'd stayed with on our many holidays there. But dad wouldn't believe me when I said that I'd never met Rona. Ah, like it matters now anyway.)
We had dinner at the Prima Tower Revolving Restaurant. The food was completely NOT to dad's taste - there was pork or lard in almost every item, and everything was too salty for him. Knowing his low tolerance level where such things are concerned, I was expecting to get an earful after we left our guests at their hotel for the night. But thankfully, he was very tired and didn't say much lol. I was glad because any earful from dad would have re-triggered the pain in my brain.
We had Peking duck wrapped in egg as the highlight of our dinner.
Hmm. It was good, but I felt it was kind of overrated. Maybe I just simply prefer Japanese food over all other types of cuisine.
Whatever it was, I loved the view and I took some photos, but because of my "Mocha steals my show" policy as mentioned above, those will come later :P
Now, feeling sufficiently Britished and bloggified, I'm off to bed. (Yes, I'd just coined MORE nonsense words and NO, you can't use them for yourself!)
- 14 March 2007 4:07am -
Mainly just rants about my aunt and my dad's gf.
...
Headache has simmered down today at last. After a full week and one day. I got caught in the rain though, and have been sneezing some the past night.
...
I have lots of photos from lots of places now waiting to be uploaded onto Flickr - but right now I've decided to just let Mocha steal my show :) He's only gonna be this size once hey :P
And I seriously don't have time to linger much in Flickr - nor do I really feel like I want to, with all the weirdoes hanging around. These days I just upload two or four (I have a thing about evenly numbered batches), post a few comments on my contacts' photos just to show them I'm still alive - and then just leave it til the next day.
It's good and I need to focus on uni...
...
Which I have been doing, even with this pain in the brain. Surprising?
Hmm. I am - Me who usually never settles down until week 5 :s Sigh. I just finished writing a short assignment and I was feeling bloggy.
...
Dad's friends from the UK were in town again - this time it is James and Rona Dunn. He has SO many friends (even from UK alone) that I have problems remembering them all (and their respective spouses).
(Usually I can remember the ones we'd stayed with on our many holidays there. But dad wouldn't believe me when I said that I'd never met Rona. Ah, like it matters now anyway.)
We had dinner at the Prima Tower Revolving Restaurant. The food was completely NOT to dad's taste - there was pork or lard in almost every item, and everything was too salty for him. Knowing his low tolerance level where such things are concerned, I was expecting to get an earful after we left our guests at their hotel for the night. But thankfully, he was very tired and didn't say much lol. I was glad because any earful from dad would have re-triggered the pain in my brain.
We had Peking duck wrapped in egg as the highlight of our dinner.
Hmm. It was good, but I felt it was kind of overrated. Maybe I just simply prefer Japanese food over all other types of cuisine.
Whatever it was, I loved the view and I took some photos, but because of my "Mocha steals my show" policy as mentioned above, those will come later :P
Now, feeling sufficiently Britished and bloggified, I'm off to bed. (Yes, I'd just coined MORE nonsense words and NO, you can't use them for yourself!)
- 14 March 2007 4:07am -
Monday, March 12, 2007
One Shot of Mocha
I've been having a headache for six days in a row. It seldom gets this bad. So, if I suddenly disappear when I'm talking to anyone online, please forgive me - I may have gone to lie down.
...
Mochi is a daddy again. Toffee has a step-brother. Yup, just ONE this time (fortunately/unfortunately). This brings my grand total back to twelve. (I still miss you my dear Sesame.)
Pink and super tiny Day #1
Not so pink but still super tiny Day #2
Having brocolli dreams already! Day #3
Tongue! Day #4
He's learnt how to scratch! Day #5
Anyway although this little guy is only five days old, he has already caused quite a stir. He has already made it to Flickr Explore, and is the subject of a ton of mail I have been receiving.
Apparently people either think he is a toy ('made of plastic' was the actual term used), or people think what I am doing amounts to abuse, and that I am indirectly endangering Mocha's life because Mirugai will eat him any moment now -.-"
Hello? If this is abuse, then how come I even have a Mochi? How come there's a Toffee? How come Mocha made it to Day 5?
Sigh. It's MY photostream for crying out loud. Why don't you go bother those irritating, self-advertising porn-meisters instead?!
- 12 March 2007 2:26am -
...
Mochi is a daddy again. Toffee has a step-brother. Yup, just ONE this time (fortunately/unfortunately). This brings my grand total back to twelve. (I still miss you my dear Sesame.)
Pink and super tiny Day #1
Not so pink but still super tiny Day #2
Having brocolli dreams already! Day #3
Tongue! Day #4
He's learnt how to scratch! Day #5
Anyway although this little guy is only five days old, he has already caused quite a stir. He has already made it to Flickr Explore, and is the subject of a ton of mail I have been receiving.
Apparently people either think he is a toy ('made of plastic' was the actual term used), or people think what I am doing amounts to abuse, and that I am indirectly endangering Mocha's life because Mirugai will eat him any moment now -.-"
Hello? If this is abuse, then how come I even have a Mochi? How come there's a Toffee? How come Mocha made it to Day 5?
Sigh. It's MY photostream for crying out loud. Why don't you go bother those irritating, self-advertising porn-meisters instead?!
- 12 March 2007 2:26am -
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Angel Hair
Re-reading my earlier post makes me want to clarify some things. True, I don't like to talk about religion anywhere because it is a very private matter to me, however I do not want to encourage any misconceptions.
The Bible does not encourage sloth, but we must realised that there is a time for everything - a time to work and a time to play, etc.
In saying Jesus held Mary in favour over Martha, I was not trying to infer that Jesus prizes laziness. The way I interpret it, He is merely trying to tell Martha that sometimes, we need to stop what we are doing and listen to what God is telling us. That's because He is God - the fact that we call Him "God" indicates the respect we ought to have for Him in the first place.
The ability to stop binding ourselves to the duties and cares of this world and start listening out for God the moment He calls - that is the part that warrants His favour. Not the deliberate attempt to skive from work or duty.
Perhaps I should have entitled the post to be "When to be Martha and when to be Mary".
...
I had veggie pasta at 1am on Monday night. LOL!
Why veggie? Because all there was, apart from pasta sauce and angel-hair pasta, was baby dow miao :P
And.. I was so hungry I forgot to take photos before I ate it all up :s Hahaha :P
...
I can't believe it is already March. I think my mind is still having its Christmas 2006 holidays.
I still don't wanna think about uni and uni related stuff. It really just beats my mind up and I hate trying to make sense of things all the time. But unfortunately it is already week 2. Zzz.
- 7 March 2007 3:07pm -
The Bible does not encourage sloth, but we must realised that there is a time for everything - a time to work and a time to play, etc.
In saying Jesus held Mary in favour over Martha, I was not trying to infer that Jesus prizes laziness. The way I interpret it, He is merely trying to tell Martha that sometimes, we need to stop what we are doing and listen to what God is telling us. That's because He is God - the fact that we call Him "God" indicates the respect we ought to have for Him in the first place.
The ability to stop binding ourselves to the duties and cares of this world and start listening out for God the moment He calls - that is the part that warrants His favour. Not the deliberate attempt to skive from work or duty.
Perhaps I should have entitled the post to be "When to be Martha and when to be Mary".
...
I had veggie pasta at 1am on Monday night. LOL!
Why veggie? Because all there was, apart from pasta sauce and angel-hair pasta, was baby dow miao :P
And.. I was so hungry I forgot to take photos before I ate it all up :s Hahaha :P
...
I can't believe it is already March. I think my mind is still having its Christmas 2006 holidays.
I still don't wanna think about uni and uni related stuff. It really just beats my mind up and I hate trying to make sense of things all the time. But unfortunately it is already week 2. Zzz.
- 7 March 2007 3:07pm -
Monday, March 05, 2007
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Martha or Mary?
Thank you, 4's, El Servas and E :) I replied to your comments much earlier than today, but I really don't know why my reply doesn't appear.
I guess I'm really fighting really hard to stay collected and positive. I can't change the way my dad is and even though I do love him very much and I'm quite hurt by all his comments and behaviour.
He has progressed from being ultra critical of me, to giving me his silent treatment. I much prefer this - it is much easier for me to fight the negative thoughts that keep emerging whenever I remember what he has said.
But I can't mull over all that now - term has already started for me and I'm in the process of settling down to get back into my studying mood.
I cannot afford to let any negative feelings throw me off my tether. I really need to do well this term. If I allow myself to fall right now, I will be providing evidence to support my father's opinion that I'm indeed useless.
I'll keep trying to remain positive and focussed.
...
Anyway, I've added another item to my already elaborate daily cleansing routine :P
My newly bought Skin Food Peach Sake Pore Serum ^___^ It's made from real Japanese wine (Sake), rice and peach extracts, and smells SO yummy! Like a trendy cocktail :D
Hees ^___^
Although Skin Food has been in Singapore for over a year, I've only recently decided to try out their products - the sudden influx of Korean products has resulted in an array so dazzling, I admit I wasn't overly eager at first to try out Skin Food.
But I'm glad I did. It's really effective on my skin :) I'm even considering switching from my Shiseido-based routine.
The funny part is dad is complaining that I'm spending too much for someone who isn't earning* - but all the stress he is putting me through is driving me to shop more!!
* I am earning - just not a regular income.
...
Met up with Junky and Taryn on Saturday :) All my pain from struggling with myself and dad simply evaporated when I saw my niece :)
We met at Bukit Panjang Plaza for a late lunch and then went over to Junky's place to relax and talk :)
Thank you and your mom-in-law for a nice home-cooked dinner, jie! ^__^
Some photos at Mos Burger :)
Pretty girl :D
Dancing to Epik High's Fly :D
If you can't see the Flickr page when you click, don't worry. I've set these (and most of Taryn's) photos to private. Recently, I've had quite a number of perverts haunting my photostream and I do not want to see them pervert Taryn's photos.
...
I guess in the end, last week was a very balanced one for me. Holistic? Well, apart from feeding my skin (Skin Food), feeding my heart (Meeting with JG and niece), I also went to church where Pastor Prince reminded us about the importance of feeding our minds with the right beliefs. He says,
Right believing will always lead to right living.
Although the gist of what Pastor was saying was actually righteousness and health, something he mentioned on the side about Mary and Martha suddenly enabled me to make a little bit more sense about my situation with dad.
Mary was the one who would sit at Jesus' feet just spending time listening and drinking in His divine presence, whilst Martha was the one who would spend all her time behind the scenes, bound to duty and taking care of all the preparations.
True to human nature, Martha got upset because Jesus' favour was with Mary instead. Mary did not toil like she did and had all the good things.
Perhaps my dad is unhappy because although I'm doing freelance work, I don't have to go to work like he does. Perhaps he feels that I'm not doing my part as a daughter, but yet I am highly favoured by my family and loved ones.
I'm not trying to say he is jealous. But I think he is worried that I will develop a dependency complex. He is worried I will become a free-loader in the long run who doesn't contribute to society. His thinking is very orthodox.
I don't blame him, my grandparents worked very hard and brought their sons up to be dependable, filial and shrewd. (You notice I only mentioned the "sons"? Well, yeah they left their daughter out of this particular form of training, we all know that, don't we?)
- 5 March 2007 3:27pm -
I guess I'm really fighting really hard to stay collected and positive. I can't change the way my dad is and even though I do love him very much and I'm quite hurt by all his comments and behaviour.
He has progressed from being ultra critical of me, to giving me his silent treatment. I much prefer this - it is much easier for me to fight the negative thoughts that keep emerging whenever I remember what he has said.
But I can't mull over all that now - term has already started for me and I'm in the process of settling down to get back into my studying mood.
I cannot afford to let any negative feelings throw me off my tether. I really need to do well this term. If I allow myself to fall right now, I will be providing evidence to support my father's opinion that I'm indeed useless.
I'll keep trying to remain positive and focussed.
...
Anyway, I've added another item to my already elaborate daily cleansing routine :P
My newly bought Skin Food Peach Sake Pore Serum ^___^ It's made from real Japanese wine (Sake), rice and peach extracts, and smells SO yummy! Like a trendy cocktail :D
Hees ^___^
Although Skin Food has been in Singapore for over a year, I've only recently decided to try out their products - the sudden influx of Korean products has resulted in an array so dazzling, I admit I wasn't overly eager at first to try out Skin Food.
But I'm glad I did. It's really effective on my skin :) I'm even considering switching from my Shiseido-based routine.
The funny part is dad is complaining that I'm spending too much for someone who isn't earning* - but all the stress he is putting me through is driving me to shop more!!
* I am earning - just not a regular income.
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Met up with Junky and Taryn on Saturday :) All my pain from struggling with myself and dad simply evaporated when I saw my niece :)
We met at Bukit Panjang Plaza for a late lunch and then went over to Junky's place to relax and talk :)
Thank you and your mom-in-law for a nice home-cooked dinner, jie! ^__^
Some photos at Mos Burger :)
Pretty girl :D
Dancing to Epik High's Fly :D
If you can't see the Flickr page when you click, don't worry. I've set these (and most of Taryn's) photos to private. Recently, I've had quite a number of perverts haunting my photostream and I do not want to see them pervert Taryn's photos.
...
I guess in the end, last week was a very balanced one for me. Holistic? Well, apart from feeding my skin (Skin Food), feeding my heart (Meeting with JG and niece), I also went to church where Pastor Prince reminded us about the importance of feeding our minds with the right beliefs. He says,
Right believing will always lead to right living.
Although the gist of what Pastor was saying was actually righteousness and health, something he mentioned on the side about Mary and Martha suddenly enabled me to make a little bit more sense about my situation with dad.
Mary was the one who would sit at Jesus' feet just spending time listening and drinking in His divine presence, whilst Martha was the one who would spend all her time behind the scenes, bound to duty and taking care of all the preparations.
True to human nature, Martha got upset because Jesus' favour was with Mary instead. Mary did not toil like she did and had all the good things.
Perhaps my dad is unhappy because although I'm doing freelance work, I don't have to go to work like he does. Perhaps he feels that I'm not doing my part as a daughter, but yet I am highly favoured by my family and loved ones.
I'm not trying to say he is jealous. But I think he is worried that I will develop a dependency complex. He is worried I will become a free-loader in the long run who doesn't contribute to society. His thinking is very orthodox.
I don't blame him, my grandparents worked very hard and brought their sons up to be dependable, filial and shrewd. (You notice I only mentioned the "sons"? Well, yeah they left their daughter out of this particular form of training, we all know that, don't we?)
- 5 March 2007 3:27pm -
Haeng Bok
I can finally say my life is settling back to the usual routine.
The university thing is half-settled, and as always, the problem gets pushed back ever further. I'm so mentally exhausted when it comes to my uni that I've been trying to detach myself and retrieve my mental and emotional tentacles from around the problem.
I keep telling myself that I can only worry so much about so many things. I simply cannot allow myself to get stuck on something, anything.
Dad has been very insensitive again.
He is once again making nasty and insulting comments about my lack of full-time, paid occupation. He has already begun to forget the amount of work I've been doing for the Bible Society's various projects - even though some of them were just recently published.
It is rather depressing to think of all the negative comments he has been making about me. Especially how I slaved over the editing and the damned reunion dinner.
I mean, I know I'm not contributing financially. But I do my part in keeping our place clean and working very hard with all my freelance stuff. I don't ask for much allowance and even came home when I could have chosen to stay in Australia instead. It is not as though my dad can't afford to pay the bills, etc. He has been buying new cars every few years.
What I want to know is if he really values money over well-being. Money over family values and gestures of love.
Perhaps to my dad, I'm really not worth having as a daughter - not worth having in dollars and cents. Perhaps he really sees me as just another form of investment - one that isn't reaping enough harvest for him.
I suppose nowadays, having a caring and filial daughter, who willingly and without being told to, cooks you all your favourite dishes, and doesn't complain when you bring your particularly difficult girlfriend home every night, is really not worth anything in monetary terms and so worth nothing at all.
It is so hurtful to do so much and then hear him talk like I am the most useless person in the world. I know he tells his friends this too. Which is why most of them think I'm a useless-good-for-nothing bimbo and treat me as such as well.
Maybe it is because of the sort of father I have, I simply can't stand how this world puts a price on everything.
This is why I believe that one can have all the money in the world and still wonder why he cannot purchase happiness, a happy marriage, a happy family life. Along the man-made way to fortune, you lose a little something - and that little something that you lose could one day turn out to be the most precious thing you have always been searching for in your life.
People often hear parents say that it is not easy to be parents nowadays. Whoever knew being a child to my dad and a niece to his sister could be so freaking frustrating too.
- 1 March 2007 3am -
The university thing is half-settled, and as always, the problem gets pushed back ever further. I'm so mentally exhausted when it comes to my uni that I've been trying to detach myself and retrieve my mental and emotional tentacles from around the problem.
I keep telling myself that I can only worry so much about so many things. I simply cannot allow myself to get stuck on something, anything.
Dad has been very insensitive again.
He is once again making nasty and insulting comments about my lack of full-time, paid occupation. He has already begun to forget the amount of work I've been doing for the Bible Society's various projects - even though some of them were just recently published.
It is rather depressing to think of all the negative comments he has been making about me. Especially how I slaved over the editing and the damned reunion dinner.
I mean, I know I'm not contributing financially. But I do my part in keeping our place clean and working very hard with all my freelance stuff. I don't ask for much allowance and even came home when I could have chosen to stay in Australia instead. It is not as though my dad can't afford to pay the bills, etc. He has been buying new cars every few years.
What I want to know is if he really values money over well-being. Money over family values and gestures of love.
Perhaps to my dad, I'm really not worth having as a daughter - not worth having in dollars and cents. Perhaps he really sees me as just another form of investment - one that isn't reaping enough harvest for him.
I suppose nowadays, having a caring and filial daughter, who willingly and without being told to, cooks you all your favourite dishes, and doesn't complain when you bring your particularly difficult girlfriend home every night, is really not worth anything in monetary terms and so worth nothing at all.
It is so hurtful to do so much and then hear him talk like I am the most useless person in the world. I know he tells his friends this too. Which is why most of them think I'm a useless-good-for-nothing bimbo and treat me as such as well.
Maybe it is because of the sort of father I have, I simply can't stand how this world puts a price on everything.
This is why I believe that one can have all the money in the world and still wonder why he cannot purchase happiness, a happy marriage, a happy family life. Along the man-made way to fortune, you lose a little something - and that little something that you lose could one day turn out to be the most precious thing you have always been searching for in your life.
People often hear parents say that it is not easy to be parents nowadays. Whoever knew being a child to my dad and a niece to his sister could be so freaking frustrating too.
- 1 March 2007 3am -
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